You've got Jamie Dimon on the phone
Imagine you walk into your office Monday morning to the voice of your secretary telling you that she has Jamie Dimon on the line for you. What would you ask him? What would you talk about? If you had 15 minutes to speak with him and only 15 minutes, how best would you use your time? Personally I'd get to know him a little bit and then I would offer my services to him, what would you do?
"Did you short VIX?"
“Hey how you doing Lloyd?”
"FYI I would've chosen DSol too"
The meme thrives on
Nothing gets past you . . .
I'd ask the secretary how she managed to get Jamie Dimon on the line in the first place.
I'd ask the secretary who's paying her, because we certainly didn't hire one
I'd ask him if Jaime Papademetriou would've been as successful as Jaime Dimon, given the (perceived) stigma around last names.
Start pitching him on a Fund I want to start.
WTF you guys asking him for advice. This is every wanna be entrepreneurs wet dream come true.
I'd ask for his personal phone number. No more 15 minute time limit. BOOM.
I would ice him out for at least 10 minutes to prove dominance
Jamie - who owns the Federal Reserve? Who are the largest shareholders in the funds of the funds that own the BB banks?
Dinner tomorrow at Per Se. 8.17PM sharp.
“How did you get my number?”
I'd shoot the shit with him and reminisce about this.
Then pitch for him to move my ass from MO to any fucking FO analyst role.
"Hey, Jamie, hold on a second while I conference in DickFuld"
But in seriousness, I would probably ask what his biggest headaches are professionally and then try to develop/pitch a way to help solve them.
Hey Jamie — How do Sandy Weill’s balls taste?
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