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Yes, but it's probably easiest in NJ. Connecticut, Westchester, and Long Island are all more expensive than NJ. 

- In NJ, look at Nutley, West/South Orange, Rutherford, Metuchen, Secaucus, Milburn, Highland Park

- In Westchester, look at White Plains, North White Plains, Valhalla, Hawthorn, Thornwood, and New Rochelle

- Not sure about long island. Staten Island should have some places too but the houses are smaller and it's hard to get into the city unless you want to take a bus. But some people like the dense-suburban life.

None of these neighborhoods are WSO-level prestigious like Greenwich, Summit, Scarsdale, etc... but they all should be fine places to raise a family. 

With real estate, there's always a trade off though. And a good commute to NYC + Good schools + safe + a decent sized house is very hard to come by at a reasonable price. I wonder if it's worth it to consider a move to a tier 2 city one day. You can find plenty of ~3,000 square feet houses within 30 minutes of Philly in great towns for $500-$600k. I have heard horror stories about people making 90-120 minute commutes each way from Rockland County to NYC just to get a decent sized house. It's not uncommon for people to take the NJ transit then transfer to the PATH, or have to go on multiple LIRR/NJ Transit lines just to get to work. Call me a soft Gen-Z or whatever, but that seems like HELL. In my opinion no backyard is worth that, but to each his own... 

 

Grew up in Scarsdale. WSO dorks obsess too much over it. Westchester has nice middle class (not upper-middle class like Scarsdale/Rye/ Bronxville/ etc..) like Pleasantville, Ossining, Ardsley. And towns that are half way between those (Harrison/ Armonk/ Eastchester) that are going from blue to white collar and not super rich but million dollar homes. Just grind zillow. Go with westchester. Long island blows and well jersey is jersey.

 

This is very true. NYC suburban commutes are extremely taxing - people often underestimate the time suck it takes to get in and out of the city. Even Bronxville and  Scarsdale is easily an hour door to door (don't just look at train time).

Might be a hot take but NYC suburbs are a huge rip off in terms of real estate. You lose the culture, nightlife, convenience of the city, but still pay inflated prices to be near it. All in all it's no different than a Boston or Philly suburb unless your career absolutely needs you to work in NYC. You aren't going to be going into Manhattan as much as you think if you move out there. I second the lower COL option - if you can get a good gig in a Boston or Philly would highly consider taking - towns like Brookline, Waban, etc could be your calling.

 

Great points. Only thing I would add is that any town that is along the metro-north RR line will make for an easy commute to work if you work in midtown. Plenty of express trains, no transfers, and the trains themselves are well kept and quiet. Pretty easy to get work done or relax. 

But of course the NY property taxes will for the vast majority of people be significantly higher compared to NJ.

 

It'll be tough to find anything nice for under 1mm if you want a good neighborhood within 1 hour from NYC but you can probably find a starter house or condo somewhere for less.

If you wanted to move up to rockland county, it would likely be closer to a 1.5-3 hr 1 way commute, either by driving or possibly by taking a shuttle / bus.

 

Look around Summit/Short Hills NJ and the surrounding area. Generally a more expensive area but there are often listings around $1mm. Comfortably less than an hour from the city and plenty of shopping/restaurants nearby.

 

Westchester taxes are insane. That $1M house can easily cost you close to $50k in taxes. And unless you work right by Grand Central, the commute adds up very quickly. 

I'd look at Long Island and NJ as others recommended. Spend a few weekend days driving around in each area, get lunch in the downtown and see what general area suits you best.

But generally if you draw a circle around the city for a ~1 hour commute you are going to be in the very expensive range, as that's about the most anyone can do for a 4-5 day a week job. If you are in some gig where you are only in 2-3 days a week, you can do much better extending your circle to a 1.5 hour commute.

Array
 

OP here. Thread was helpful. Made me give up on the idea of NY. Now looking at Texas, Florida, Colorado.

 

I’m from South Brooklyn. You could snag up a decent house in a couple neighborhoods down here like Sheepshead Bay, Midwood, Bay Ridge, etc. Neighborhoods are pretty good and mixed income wise. Easy commute too if you live near a train station. Personally took the B train most of high school and was able to get from Sheepshead bay to 59th st in 30-40 mins. Also easy to get to Manhattan by car if you take the belt parkway and use the tunnel. Not prestigious wso neighborhoods but they’re good and safe neighborhoods with a lot of character.

You could also try Staten Island. A lot of nice areas out there and it gives suburb vibes.

 

My dad's second family live in Bay Ridge and can confirm that it's ok, and truly middle class unlike the prestigious places mentioned on this site a lot. Lots of professionals from all sorts of white collar fields are able to live there, so your neighbours will likely be more interesting people as a result. The R train was useful if infrequent the last time I visited them for getting into manhattan (you're looking at an hour door to door for sure though).

I think the school the kid goes to is ok as well, nothing like an international school like I went to but it seems rigorous enough. A lot of wealthy kids there somehow, though I wonder why you'd live there if you had real money, I'd rather live in park slope or on the UES/UWS even if it had to be in a shoebox just for the quality of the neighbours and the environment my kid would be in, I'd want it to be as similar to mine growing up as possible, but I guess people make different decisions.

 

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