Adults - Should I delete instagram/facebook?
Hey everyone,
I am graduating senior and I am debating if I should delete Instagram and Facebook. Basically, my thinking is that the people I look up to would not spend 5h/week on these platforms so why should I? I check my phone and on average I spend 4/5 hours each week. I could try to cut the time down but it would still be lost time. On the other time, maybe Instagram/Facebook helps me keep in touch with friends I don't see often (like replying to stories etc.)?
Finally, I think that being 30+ and still using social media is boomer behavior (assuming you work in finance). So should I just delete it right now?
I was talking with a friend and she told me she would think that not having Instagram/Facebook would be a big red flag (this girl is smart so I was very surprised ngl). Would you agree?
Thoughts? Thank you!!
Instagram is amazing for showing an interesting life / high SMV / whatever the fuck you wanna call it, which in turn helps you get girls easier. Most dudes can’t pull it off though without trying way too hard and coming off desperate, so perhaps deleting entirely is the better option. It’s not exactly great for mental health
As an adult and with a normal life, you wouldn't need social media to land girls.
Social media is widely seen as a time waster and adds normally no value to your life.
Using dating apps is different, that has actual value and may lead to real life connections.
Social media and dating apps are effectively almost the same thing these days, fwiw. Add IG to dating app profile, have girls stalk your IG to make sure you’re not a fucking weirdo, then they’re more likely to match vs. some “mysterious” dude who has no presence online. Girls like guys who get girls.
It’s like a mid market fund saying they don’t participate in broad auctions and focus only on proprietary deals. Why not both? Broaden the sourcing funnel, even if hit rates favor the proprietary channels. It’s not like it takes a massive amount of time to upkeep social media.
Thanks for this, I didn't know. I met my gf at the gym and had no social media. I had no idea it was like that...
I fully believe that Social Media is a poison. Like all poisons, in small doses it's not terrible (i.e. alcohol). But let it loose from its leash and it will wreak havoc on both your time and mental health. The issue isn't that it's a simple matter of 'have some self-control, no one is forcing you' -- while this is superficially true, these platforms -- who are incentivized by maximizing engagement of consumers by any means possible -- have literally perfected the ways to capture your monkey mind. Every single trick, from 'notifications that you haven't talked to your friend in a while' to only allowing highly engaging ads to having insanely hot girls (who in real life you'd see maybe once in a blue moon unless you were in LA / NYC / etc -- and even then in nowhere near the same density as online) is designed to enslave your attention. Chamath Palahapitya, who is largely credited with building FB's addicting algo back in the day, has a talk on this stating that he himself feels tremendous guilt for what he built and that these algos are designed to program humans into behaving in ways that are additive to the core platform. Do you want to let yourself be programmed? Ultimately these are dopamine machines that treat you like a starving lab rat, giving you just the right dosage in just the right frequency to keep you coming back.
100% believe these are a poison, but in a practical sense I also understand that it's not easy to entirely live without them. Some older folks 30+ have been able to get off them entirely (i.e. brofessor) which I have tremendous respect for. For younger end Millennials and Gen Z specifically (which you fall into) it can have negative repercussions if you get completely off of them (in this stage of your life). One is the above w/ dating, girls like to check your social profile out before a date (unless you meet organically in person in which case no need). Another is organizing events, I don't too many of these anymore but FB is still the main platform by which people invite me to parties (ex just friends texting me or riding along after a pregame). As such, my rec is to keep the bare minimum social media presence for verification / connectivity and professional purposes. This absolutely means no TikTok (very addicting, and it has a weak social graph to your actual friends) and no IG (again it's a highlight reel at best that makes you feel unhappy and softcore porn that hooks you at a primal level at its worst). Probably no Twitter either given it literally shortens your attention span -- while there are some postives to platform, IMO it's a net negative overall. No Reddit either, what is this adding to your life? Read the WSJ for 10min in the morning if you want to catch up on news, otherwise why? With YouTube as well, watch vids that enhance your life (workout vids, history vids, guitar vids, etc) but don't let yourself be drawn in by the algo.
For context, this is where I'm at now. Only have a Facebook (social purposes) / LinkedIn (professional purposes, lots of recruiters find me this way) / SnapChat (have a few friend groups on here). WhatsApp / Messenger / GroupMe as well, though these aren't really social platforms IMO (at least in the negative sense) & more akin to texting. On those first 3, I spent on avg 20min per week in aggregate. That's it. No TikTok (f*ck that additing POS), no IG (don't want to feel horny every 15 minutes), etc. It can be done. In 5+yrs, I will for sure delete Snapchat and maybe Facebook as well (LinkedIn is still key for professional purposes). Since ratcheting down my social media usage to these levels, I haven't found any degradation in my life and actually it's been a moderate net positive as I spend time doing things that bring me more joy (reading, working out, even watching TV in moderate doses). An hour on social media hollows you out, you don't feel as if you did anything and it actually often brings up subconscious anxieties to the forefront. An hour on your hobbies / with friends or family makes you feel fulfilled. Best of luck, takes a bit of deviation from the standard path you're being programmed upon but it can no doubt be done if you put in some effort. I'm genuinely glad to see you post this and solicit opinions as it means you're thinking for yourself and won't allow yourself to be a mindless slave -- I don't believe many in your generation are making the same effort but glad to know there are people like you
Edit: Deleted my Snapchat a few days ago as well. Just have Facebook and LinkedIn now
100% seconded.
I deleted my Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat after I finished college and haven't missed them in the slightest. Quite the contrary, I will never go back to using them because of how much of a time suck they are. I do still enjoy Twitter because I follow a bunch of tech and VC folks, but I don't post anything personal and I hardly ever comment/never get into arguments with the NPCs. WSO is my only real allowance for "social media."
what kind of tech and vc people do you recommend following?
Thank you so much for your post, really took a lot out of it. I definitely agree with your perspective, will force myself to strongly cut down use and will just leave my profile inactive and use it if I have a specific need.
and never had TikTok thank god ahahah
Wow no TikTok but yes for Snap? Why? I keep avoiding Snap - why do you feel it is necessary or good?
Well with Snap it's at least communicating solely with people I know, with TikTok it's just an addicting also filled with vids of people I don't know and will never know. Snap also allows for group-chats which is a good way to stay connected. Also TikTok wasn't really a thing when I was in school whereas Snap was so there's a bit of inertia.
Snap is by no means necessary or good. As I said, I'll probably delete Snap in a few years anyway. LinkedIn is probably the most necessary social media and after that Facebook blue as a bare minimum way for people to check out your pics / get in touch. At least my humble opinion
how else are you sending dick pics?
Never understood why people opt to communicate via Messenger or IG, when they can just text instead.
Maybe someone can enlighten me?
Mostly inertia to be honest, don't have a preference either way. Doesn't change a thing either way for me so I haven't bothered to switch to SMS. Some off my friends also will use Messenger when texting me and I'm not going to try to move the convo to SMS for no reason
it's for people who don't want you to have their number. for example, if you met a girl on tinder or even real life and she's not sure if you're a creep/stalker, she might prefer not to give you number but instead message on IG. that's how I see girls using it. I also find it weird though.
I agree with most of what you are saying. The “hollow conscious” remark is spot on as well as the unrealistic density of attractive women (been trying to figure out where exactly all these people live lol)
I do disagree on a few points however.
1) Chamath doesn’t feel bad about what he did. He knows exactly what he did when he was building them and felt 0 remorse at the time. My guess is that some tech deal he wanted to do with FB didn’t go through and now he decided to burn them by revealing the algo secrets. That’s how it goes in the business.
2) You can get off FB for personal events. I agree that FB is still used for scheduling events and that’s what brought me on to the platform in the first place as I had to get it for a college job I had. However unless it is for work where you absolutely have to have it, someone in your friend group will text you about the details of the meeting who is closer with you. Sure, you won’t get the ability to negotiate like others but honestly considering how addictive FB is I think it’s a small price to pay, This method is currently how I attend social events.
Instagram is a Tinder auditing tool. She may put some good pics on Tinder, but gotta check her Insta to see current pics. Also, you can DM girls on Insta even if you don’t match on Tinder.
This is all fine and good to me except for when a girl asks for my Snap and I’m a bit against using Snap and don’t really like it and somewhat refuse to use Snap and would rather DM on Insta or text on a cell number.
As for usage, I have Facebook but pretty much am never on it. But, Facebook has thousands of my pics from the last 18 years, so it’s like a photo album I access from time to time.
I don’t use Instagram that much either, but it is somewhat important to have for chicks to check you out as well.
My main time suck on social media is TikTok and find it very entertaining. I also post all my interesting poker hands on there and am very involved with the poker community. I also am viewing Twitch a lot studying and talking to poker pros and playing poker at the same time.
Honestly if you're working in banking or some other corporate job... those lost 4-5 hours a week aren't really that valuable... If you're spending your Saturday morning on Insta, sure, delete it, but there's not really "better" things to be doing at 11pm waiting for comments. Maybe if you're leading a startup, but even then you'd still need social media to establish yourself.
I also think you lose touch with friends without social media
What about setting a time limit of ~30 min a day on the apps and see if you become less dependent? Your phone has settings to limit this
Exactly. Friend's text.
Disagree that you lose friends without social media. All the important friends in my life (i.e. the people I actually care to keep in touch with), our bonds are stronger than ever. And actually, it's entirely driven by calling / Facetiming -- even texting (on FB Messagner / WhatsApp / SMS) is actually fairly limited. And I make plans to see all of these people as much as possible. Bear in mind of all of these people I care to keep in touch with & want to maintain relationships, almost none are in my current city -- just two of probably ~15 friends I really value.
Friends that fall away from social media usage are those friends that would've fallen away regardless. How much are you really strengthening a friendship by tagging a meme? It means virtually nothing. How much are you strengthening a friendship with a 30min in-depth conversation about life or just shooting the shit? I'd wager this is a lot higher. It's actually surprising even to me how open people are to calling / Facetime even amongst people in their mid-20s -- most of your friends probably won't think of doing this themselves but in all likelihood you'll find them surprisingly receptive to it if you initiate it. I have calls ranging from 20min - 3hrs regularly with these 15 people. Some I call every 1-2 weeks, most tend to be every 3-4 weeks (and some every 2-3 months) but either way our relationships have overall stayed quite strong.
What do you think people did in the pre social media era? This is exactly the type of thing I'd caution against, Social Media is designed to make it feel like you NEED it and can't function without it. Going back to first principles & simplicity of how to live a good life (deep ties with family & friends, meaningful work, faith, joyful hobbies, etc) I've found are the best antidote
In your position too, and stopped going on IG a few years ago and phased out the others. Didn't delete my accounts on IG/FB because I want to retain my username but besides that have thinned down who I let follow me and just kept old pics up.
Definitely feel less connected to people I haven't seen in a while, but that fine with me. People who I actually want to talk to, and who want to talk to me, text me instead.
25 y/o for reference. I've been off IG/snap/FB/twitter for > 4 years now. Best decision I ever made. The real friends stay in your life, the rest fall off. I used to do a lot of shit to keep my profile "hype".. now I live for myself. Happier. Less stressed. More genuine relationships, less bullshit.
I was doing a modified PPL 6x / week. Push 1 (chest dominant lighter tri / shoulder), Pull 1 (back + bicep), Legs 1 (quad dominant lighter glutes and hams), Push 2 (shoulder dom light chest and tri), Pull 2, Legs 2 (glute and ham dom light quad). Got killer results from this. 5'9 173 lbs with 465/355/265 dead/squat/bench. But I got some blood work done and learned I had really low testosterone, never ran anabolics or prohormones contrary to the uesername lol. For reference, L300's ng/dl. I spoke with some specialists, they recommended bringing strength training down to 3x per week, so now I do standard PPL and cardio in the off days. This with a couple new supplements brought test levels up to M500's ng/dl.. still low... but significantly better.
TLDR, standard PPL with cardio in off days
Most of the people on my IG are athletes. Fitness industry, MMA, Muay Thai, Triathletes, runners, cyclists, and poker.
Feel you. To be fair, I have an anon twitter where I just follow finance/news/weather accounts. 3 things that help me to find resources in topics I'm passionate about. I could see myself doing the same with IG.... but I think with stories and stuff it would be easy for me to start posting again and go down the rabbit hole... just not a path I want to go down at this time... I get you though, simply following accounts like that likely bolsters your motivation to kick ass day in and day out.
Nah, the true "red flag" is if you come across a woman or a person in general who thinks it's "weird" or "sus" that you don't have a social media. Fk those people. They're all societal robots that exist just to make billionaires even richer.
Based.
Scroll up, Scroll down. Swipe left, Swipe right. Click to purchase. Rinse and Repeat.
Kept LI, but even that is addicting. Never had FB or Insta, which I felt made me an outcast, but w/e. Can't please everyone, right?
Just bought the domain for my name, which will be a single landing page. Going for a sleek and elegant layout. Some nice photos, including one where I'm doing a talk. Will naturally be the first result during a Google search. Hoping it will help me stand out, since not everyone has their website. Aiming for it to provide value professionally and socially, but we shall see!
You guys take this thing way too seriously and overcomplicate it. Use social media to stay connected to your friends, family, and things that interest you. It's that simple.
I used FB a bit but managed to get off the platform recently (see below). Only use Reddit for local reviews on apartments/places to visit in the city (I find it good for this) but don’t have an account. I’ve never used Snapchat, IG, TikTok, Twitter or What’sApp. I have a LinkedIn for professional reasons but don’t use it all anymore (found the constant bragging about offers to not really be different than FB). Really the only social media platform I use heavily is WSO.
. Even if you are able to limit your use I find FB to be a net negative as ultimately you’ll get distracted and see someone with the better car , bigger house, better job, etc and start feeling depressed. It gives you an inaccurate view of the successes and failures in people’s life leading to more depression.
I completely abandoned FB recently after I started getting back into some video games that I truly enjoy and I am much happier than any of the time I spent on that platform and know I’m not going back. Sequoia is spot on with his hollow consciousness comment as that’s how I truly felt using the platform. Time had passed but I hadn’t gained anything of value. I didn’t laugh even once or smile (which is a huge contrast to WSO) and usually felt worse off
.
On top of all of this I have no apps on my phone and all notifications for default apps are turned off (even for texts).I I’ve seen how people react for non work related pings snd it’s unbelievable. That stress is not good for you and if anything truly urgent happens people will call you. Even now I’m using WSO through the web and all my notifications go to a non work email that I check whenever I feel.
I realize this is sort of a ramble so let me wrap up my response by saying yes you can and should get off of all social media with recommendation algorithms and only use it rarely when you need something specific. Find activities you truly enjoy and replace the time spent with that. Will you lose contacts? Yes, I’ve lost some due to not having the “right” social media but you can’t please everybody in life. Will you be a bit awkward? Yes, but you’ll be happier and more interesting of a person than most, so I think it’s worth it.
Facebook is actually useful if you have a select group of close friends there. Unfortunately my Facebook went too commercial at some stage and I lost track of who was who.
Maybe keep your accounts - uninstall the apps - resinstall insta once or twice a year to post a pic or two
I use IG to share car content with my mechanical engineering buddies as all of us are car guys. I keep FB for the marketplace to sell furniture we don’t need. I never post there. I occasionally post pictures of my kids for family to see on IG, but that’s about it.
Whether you like it or not, people you just met (say at a party) will look you up on FB and IG and see who you are. Gives them a glance at how popular you may be, social capital, etc. which may affect how they end up choosing to be your friend. Sorry, I know this isn’t always the case, but it does happen
Why would you want to be friends with someone who evaluates you on your instagram account?
That’s not the point. The point is that people can quickly evaluate what kind of person you may be just by quickly glancing at your IG/FB and making the decision if they would want to be friends.
Posting on this tread as its popular now. How can I go through the process of bettering myself? Currently viewing myself at my “rock bottom”. Recently 21M, 5’10” 175-180lbs. Cut out instagram off my phone and tiktok entirely to cut back on social media usage. Realized I can’t go entirely off social media as a college student its hard to communicate to people without. Secured an internship this summer working in NYC at a good bank in an interesting group. Been binge drinking more this semester which normally means Tuesday (8 drinks), Friday (10 drinks) and Saturday (10-12 drinks during the day and more at night). Been just feeling like a degenerate. I try to work out 5-6 times a week doing 1 hr in the gym minimum. Also have been skiing 60 days this winter and starting to mountain bike. Just don’t know what to do to better myself. Cut out drinking excessively seems obvious, I have been trying to read more and said to myself I will do cardio every day for the next 30 days to see how that goes.
Another note, need to get suit for my internship and don’t want to get one while my waist is a 31-32 as I am normally a 30. Don’t want to get it now as I am larger than normal.
Quit the drinks bro no point. Alcohol is poison. I cut it out recently, go to gym 6 times a week ( 2 hrs each session), and have seen massive improvements in all areas of life.
How do you find time to do two hours each session?
Yes. Those websites add zero value to your life. They are net negatives and Mark Zuckerberg belongs in a labor camp.
I got off social media and haven't looked back. I hesitate to tell people they should do it, but I will say that you can easily stay in touch with other friends, it's just that you have to pull the content to you rather than have it pushed to you, so it does require a little more time. I don't necessarily view this as bad because it forces you to evaluate which friendships are really worth your time.
I tried to strike a middle ground and just turned off notifications on every social media platform (on my phone, which is the main way I look at them). This way, I can go on there if I choose but i'm not being constantly distracted with notifications from things as well. It's dramatically reduced the amount of time I spend on them (still room for improvement, but it's better).
If this is a concern of yours I'd recommend 1) only following accounts of actual friends - get rid of all the garbage you browse through, and 2) cutting down on usage. Like it or not, as you get older, people use social media as a way to celebrate life events, for example, getting engaged, having a kid etc. Not having an account can limit some info flow - I've been down this path before. Its easy to find a balance to this if you have the self control
There is no need for a grown man to have or use social media, plus anything you say can and will be used against you (including hiring and firing).
http://www.deletefacebook.com
After reading all of these comments, does anyone on WSO even talk to women IRL? I feel like you guys just rely heavily on dating apps and social media to get pussy (No offense to the ladies reading this). Also everyone here seems to have red pill logic which has been debunked and is just a bunch of garbage written by angry hurt men who want to act like they're alphas by bragging over the internet...
Some of the older guys will agree with me, I've had tons of success literally just talking to girls IRL... you know... like a normal functioning person? Never once did anything related to red pill logic, just spoke with them and told them my stories and interests and what I'm about.
I highly suggest you deactivate social media accounts, unless you use them for very specific purposes.
Like others have said, it's fucking toxic, eating your brain and corrupting your mind.
Me:
Twitter: I post about my coding progress. It's like a monotonous drone but somehow you hold yourself accountable.
Instagram: I make posts about my podcast and try to attract a bigger audience.
Facebook: my annual time spent on FB is definitely less than 5 minutes to keep in touch with a couple of friends.
I don't use any other social media.
I'm addicted to Twitter. I think I've made 3 comments ever and I was banned on the third for saying that transgenderism is a mental illness so I use it without being logged-in. I get off it for a month and am so much happier; then, I start reading it again and it's only for 10 minutes a day. Within a week it's like 3 hours a day and then I have to delete my web browser for a while on my phone. I actually think I need counseling to get off Twitter. I can't do it.
Facebook is just awful. 95% of my friends never use it (most people haven't updated their profile pic in 4-10 years at this point); the other 5% are boring married couples posting total bullshit about their kids and boring married lives. Facebook is mostly useful for watching fresh wiener dog videos. Instagram I use for 10 minutes a month to check out Asian girls in bikinis. Snapchat is fun--I use it mostly with my former co-workers so we can be insanely politically incorrect. Linkedin doesn't really count--it's just like a static resume. Slack I use for my hobbyist group (it's ok, I guess). YouTube sort of is kind of a social media site--I communicate about electric cars with some content creators who have videos, pictures, and comment threads.
I could live without any of these sites/apps, but they have their use sometimes.
I deleted instagram and it’s helped a lot in terms of productivity because it helps me avoid mindless scrolling. The only thing is I spend more time on WSO. It’s a better choice to be on here instead of instagram though in my opinion. I am learning a lot on here, besides some of the dumbass comments.
Use of social media like facebook and Instagram is worthy now a day as you can get latest information and connected to the world. But overuse of social media is not good. There are multiple strategies to reduce use of social media but using for a bit time in a day is helpful for everyone to get updated.
I'm going to take an unpopular stance here and say that I like social media. It's a good way to stay in touch with friends, it can be useful to connect with new people and turn soft contacts into deeper connections, and you have some both funny and informative content on there as well. The trick is to use social media and not have it use you.
If you feel more productive without it, then I can't question your judgement if that's your personal experience and you should do what works for you, but for me it's been a net positive.
Instagram is an overglorified hookup app. If you're looking for easy hookups, then I guess it fits your niche, but otherwise, it's just a distraction and platform for people to larp on. I deleted my ig right before I went to college, and it was one of the best decisions I made for college. People in college also used ig to stalk/dox so bear that in mind.
I think not. You can use social media a lot for work. In the era of consumerism, hospitals know they must keep patients satisfied to remain the care provider of choice. Calling in to schedule an appointment or check in on a loved one should be a hassle-free process that gives patients the information they need and leaves a positive impression. Aslo read info record phone calls iphone app
I gave up social networking a long time ago because I don't see the point of sitting there and showing my life on display. There are messengers such as gb whatsapp in which I can contact everyone I need as well as they with me. And this communication or rather correspondence is enough for me. Although many people do not perceive messengers and do not see the point in them.
HR departments use social media as a primary way to weed out job applications.
Anything you post on social media can prevent new opportunities, and also get you fired and/or cancelled.
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