Am I selfish?

Hi all -

Background: My family (immigrants) have always been willing to give up whatever to make me happy. When I was 12 I developed an (maybe unhealthy?) obsession with stocks/finance. I am fascinated by them and I am genuinely filled with joy when I talk and read about stocks and hedge funds. I made it my mission to get a job at a large bank to hopefully lead to a career at a fund. Problem was my family owns a small but very successful business (3mm in rev and strong margins) that requires a lot of hands on operations from my dad (60 years old) and due to some family things, no one else can run it. I had two options during my sophomore year 1. Take over the business and let my dad who worked >85 hours a week for the last 20 years retire and enjoy his small fortune 2. Go after what I want, finance. I took option 2 and now I’m going to a BB IB from a small non target (worked my ass off). Today he came home and looked absolutely exhausted and I feel like I made a selfish decision. I kinda put myself first even when he put me first for my whole life.

Question: Was I selfish? I feel really guilty. Any recommendations? I offered to find a way to sell it but he’s afraid that if he sells it the others that rely on it won’t be able to afford their lifestyle.

Edit: I worked at the business from when I was 14 through college

5 Comments
 

Hi OP - As someone who currently works in IB, I think its a good idea to work at that BB for a few years then make the transition to working at your family's business. In my opinion, working a few years in IB is better than an education at a top school anywhere because you are working on real life problems and get to understand the ins and outs of a business.

That being said, if you have an opportunity to make a ton of money running your family business, do it. Running and growing a business to be successful is incredibly hard and the fact that you in a few years would get great experience at a BB bank means that you would definitely have a lot of offer and could take it to the next level. Earnings potential will also be a lot more if you run your own business as opposed to working for someone else.

I'm also not a huge fan of hedge funds in general (particularly public equities) as data has shown passive funds outperform managed funds in the long term. That's why I got out of a large mutual fund and went into IB. Good luck!

 

no I wouldn't say you're selfish. your career is your career. from what i can tell, it seems like your family's business has served its purpose (providing for your family -- bonus for providing for your dad's employees).

if anything, working at your family business will end up souring your own family dynamics in the long term, IMO. i've never seen someone work somewhere they didn't want to be have a happy ending to tell.

if anything, you can always come back to the business if you realize you don't like IB anyways. but i don't think the inverse is realistic; e.g, breaking into IB again after realizing the obvious (you, personally, don't want to be at the family business in this point in your life).

maybe you could start exploring retirement options with your dad instead?

 
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