Broke up with college gf before analyst role

Hi monkeys 

About two weeks ago, my college girlfriend of 2 years and i broke up in a pretty bad breakup situation. I've been preparing to study for the 79 now as I take it in two weeks but it's been so hard for me to find motivation and i get very distracted as i always keep thinking about her.

This has been the worst state of mental health for me in a very long time, and i am worried that it is going to impact the start of my analyst years. 

I would really appreciate if anyone had gone through something similar with heartbreak this early in their career or even later on this industry, and the best way to navigate out of this down bad period. 

18 Comments
 

Listen to a lot of noise while you're studying.

Study more, listen to more noise,  and then cry after taking your exam. The busier you are, the less you're thinking. Stress yourself out to the point where you can only concentrate on one thing at a time.

 

Went through something similar. Not sure if it's healthy but one thing that really helped me was thinking about how she won if I failed. She isn't in your life anymore and that sucks, but it sucks more if you lose out on a huge opportunity because you couldn't dust yourself off and fight for it. Best of luck man, hit the gym and work hard you got this.

 

i have this urge now to grind even harder and get rich and prove her wrong, but i feel like thats a toxic way of thinking. like im so bitter about the breakup and i already know shes got with other people since then thru mutuals. 

 

This will help you in the short/medium term, although I personally never felt that holding a grudge and achieving success to spite someone was the best thing to do.

Frame it like this - she is the one who lost out. You are the prize. She just wasn’t the one. Yea you can reminisce about the good times and wish it went back to that, but 1) that’s never gonna happen, 2) it’s going to put you in a negative state of mind, and 3) there are so many other girls out there. Lock in and focus on your future self who will inevitably find someone better.

At the end of the day it’s better that it happened now and not when you’re married with kids…

 

That adrenaline/rage fueled mindset can work well in some situations, but that's not the situation you're in.  The S79 is a pass/fail exam and quite an easy one, so it's not something to "crush" and get fired up about.  It's something to methodically chip away at, little by little each day.

And then when you start IB, it's also more of a marathon-not-sprint situation where it's about consistently being reliable instead of being a hero.  

So I think your approach should be more about how to stay focused on the immediate unit of time in front of you (e.g. the next hour) and do the right thing for that unit of time.  I think this is why the Pomodoro method works well, you learn to just put off all other thoughts for 25 minutes at a time.

 
Most Helpful

If it makes you feel any better, you’ll meet so many spectacular women over the next 10,20,30 years that you’ll click with. Girls that share your humor. Girls that share your hobbies. Girls that love you for the confidence that you bring to the table. You’re already off to a great start to your career and at becoming the man that you’re working to become. wish I could witness the amazing life that you’ll create for yourself.

 

Lmfao brotha I feel you, my gf of almost 3 years that I spent all of college with broke up with me before my internship. It absolutely fucking blows but you owe it to her and yourself to be just a little bit better, every single day. Doesn’t seem like you’re the type to get under someone new and I wouldn’t recommend it.

Don’t try and ignore the feelings, feel them and acknowledge both your and her faults. Running from those feelings and stuffing them into a box only kicks the can down the road. Not sure where your head is at but the only way to get her back would to be the best version of yourself you could be; physically, mentally, emotionally, and professionally.

There’s an old proverb that basically states that you cannot chase a butterfly and expect it to come to you, you can only build a beautiful garden in the hope it comes to you. And even if it doesn’t, you still have a beautiful garden. It doesn’t matter WHY you become a better version of yourself, anyone who tells you change has to come from within is lying. Becoming better means becoming better, regardless of the catalyst for it.

The only way is through, rooting for you man. DMs are always open if you need to talk.

 
[Comment removed by mod team]
 

how long did it take for you to forgive her. all i can think of rn is proving her wrong 

 

Gets easier after a couple weeks of no contact. She's not in your life anymore and whatever her outcome is has no bearing on you. Focus on yourself. 

 

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