An Englishman on Wall Street

hey buddy the wars of the roses was 700 years ago, wrong time period

Good day milord.....may I humbly suggest a career on Dalal street instead

a

100% not an Englishman

AnonymousSigma

Good day my esteemed gentlemen,

I am a young fellow from England who has taken a keen interest in the field of banking. I have recently begun my undergraduate degree at a rather prestigious university, and am examining potential careers in this field. I have also identified the former colonies as an excellent location to pursue this calling, with exceptional pay unseen here in my country from my knowledge. Specifically the city of New York. I am already beginning to engage in networking, contacting the relevant groups within my university. I write to your collective genius for assistance and experience in regards to a small query I have.

I have spoken to American people in the past and alas, I have been unable to pass as one of them, chiefly due to an apparent unique way of speaking. Now I have heard that in the colonies the women have an affinity for such speech, and it is an advantage in wooing and courting them. Is it true that the same passes for the bankers? Minor as it would be, would I hold any form of advantage in first impressions with such a characteristic, or would I be best positioned to try to hide it "because I want to fit in" in the words of the distinguished Patrick Bateman?

I of course am very focused on my academics and networking and will work my damned hardest in school to try to become like you chaps irrespective of my manner of speech. But simply, I awoke from a dream (it is past 3 in the morning here) where I was in such a parable and now I am unable to fall dormant since. It is such a small little thought but it occurred to me so vividly I am unable to stop thinking about it for the past approximately 8 and a half minutes. 

I eagerly await your wise responses gentlemen.

Omg, what are you on? We Brits do not talk or act this way. Cut it out already.