Banker Clichés

To fellow Monkeys, what are the banker cliches that you hate hearing at work the most? Here are a list of "Banker Clichés". Bankers use colorful imagery and far flung metaphors, usually related to war or sports, to convince themselves they are on par with pro-athletes and NATO commanders.

bells and whistles - functionality in a model created using obscure features of Excel apples to apples - a certain factor must be reflected in both numerator and denominator haircut - to lower projections out year - typically where you can haircut without the client objecting north/south - used during negotiations to reveal one's position at the end of the day - nobody is really sure what this means, but it is usually 2 a.m. learning curve - the graph of your disenchantment with investment banking over time skillset - your current point in time on the learning curve heaving lifting - what the analysts do in lieu of going to the gym get some color - ask someone for something remotely insightful mileage - what you get when you use the same factoid over and over with clients fire drill - every pitchbook, board presentation, or other assignment you work on jamming - what you are doing during a fire drill slammed - what you are when you are jamming kind of/ sort of - a mitigating phrase which usually precedes an awful request robust - has more information than will ever be used sweat the details - to really make sure your spreadsheet is robust in the trenches - in a cubicle to puke all over something - to disagree with a proposal or a set of projections hockey stick - a type of projections likely to induce a massive amount of banker puke it is what it is - I have no idea how to answer your question on my game - to be marvelously able to dupe my clients on top of my game - beyond slick lay up - an easy deal to get done home run - a deal which makes people a lot of $$$ slam dunk - interchangeable - can refer to either an easy or a lucrative deal touchdown - not a banker term, you'd be fired for using this expression rattle someone's cage/ ruffle someone's feathers - to verbally intimidate eaten alive - to have verbally intimidated low hanging fruit - an easy task "I think that's right" - I have no idea what the answer is, but I want you to think I do Oh $%#!!! (Analyst) - My computer just crashed and I haven't saved in eight hours Oh $%#!!! (Associate) - My analyst's computer just crashed Oh $%#!!! (Managing Director) - My typewriter's jammed

What is your most hated clichés around the office? Do share. Do add.

My most hated clichés: at the end of the day, low hanging fruit, it is what it is.