This is a recent monologue, part of The Guardian's finance series, where a women talks about how her boyfriend's life as a banker is affecting her and their relationship.
After various topics on relationships in Wall Street and the City, where one questions their priorities in life, this monologue provides an all-embracing insight into how finance affects your 'other'.
Banker's girlfriend: 'I never understood how this would impact my life'
On her position in the relationship and the shifting dynamics of what used to be to what is now:
Oh God. You know, he tries really hard. But I told him very seriously: look, I don't like your job. I didn't choose to be in this situation. If I had wanted the bankers' lifestyle I would have gone into finance myself. I work in a shop. I live with my parents. I have huge student debts, a big overdraft … Now he has a really good salary, he looks smart – suddenly he holds all the cards in the relationship.
Sadly, all they can talk about is work. Same with his flatmate who is with the same bank, but in a different division. You will not believe how boring and childish conversations between the two can be. Who works harder, how to get into the right jobs, how hard it is – they can go on all night. 'My bank is better at M&A'. 'But my bank is great at … ' and a few abbreviations fly across the room. One says, but you're not even a real trader. And then the other has to defend himself.
Apart from the glaringly obvious i.e. relationships are tough in finance, how did he get out at 7pm in the summer?
Discuss.
Training.
"Still it must be really hard, some of it. He has this colleague who cries all the time. She can't take the pressure. Apparently one managing director only wants to work with her, because of a particular skill she has. She'll be crying in the toilet and he'll cover for her, make up excuses why she isn't at her desk.”
Heh
He's tapping that. I assume?
See if you can guess what the "skill" is.
She annoys me
"Sorry but so what? This isn't even remotely unique to the bogeyman of finance.
How about the wives and girlfriends of those in the armed forces. Those who work on oil rigs. Self employed folk. There are millions of jobs that require huge amounts of hours earlier in the career. I know of a local Headteacher who is in her primary school 12 hours a day 7 days a week. Yes, 7.
Some people are hard-wired to be married to their job. If he wanted another job he'd get one. But obviously doesn't."
The site also has a monologue from an ex-bankers wife.
I've met a couple of self made millionaires with fortunes ranging from 50mm - 150mm and they are all married to their job/companies. Nearly absolutely everything they do has to do with their job.
Soccer game of the kid? Only goes if the father of another kid goes so they can discuss business.
Social events? This translates to deals being formed/made
Family Trips? Usually includes partners, co-workers, investors
Its ridiculous. They barely sleep, they all drink heavily, and they are all fairly humble (to an extent, two of them own private jets but never brag about their stuff)
Their families? literally can do whatever they want. They are enslaved just for that. Just to be able to give their spouses/offspring whatever they want.
I don't know if I can do that.
As posted above, there is a price to success. It doesn't matter whether it's high finance or running your own restaurant, your work becomes a bigger part of your life than your personal and social circle. If it was easy, everyone would do it.
Do you want to sell out a concert and go platinum? Reherse for months for 12 hours a day, forget to eat for 3/4 days at a time (al la Beyonce) and then you're on the road for three months with 5 hours of sleep a day.
What strikes me about this article is that the woman clearly didn't know what SHE was getting herself into, nevernind the guy working till 2am. When you do that much work, of course the choice of meat turns into 'what is a better synergy for your gut' and finance can be the be all and end all.
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