Big words are for amateurs
Hello my fellow monkeys,
In light of being promoted early at my fund it will now be more legitimised to intervene and voice my opinion while the analysts or other teams present their investment memos. As now I am not the one at the bottom of the pole I get to lay back on the conference room leather chair, tent my fingers slowly in a manner similar to Angela Merkel or Mr Burns and as I adjust my voice to a pitch slightly lower than my natural voice (see Elizabeth Holmes), slightly frown my eyebrows while I voice my concerns over the investment currently being presented using fancy words such as: ergo (instead of "therefore"), modicum (instead of "small quantity") or quantum (instead of "the amount of x"), falsely believing that it adds credibility to my arguments.
What fancy words do you fellow monkeys like to occasionally include in your vocabulary that you once heard a partner at your previous job use or some chap at Sohn Conference 2014 to sound smarter while you could totally have used a plain english word yet you did want to slightly stroke your ego the moment you said it because you thought it may make you sound slightly more well read that you actually are?
Big words are for amateurs. If you're not using cliches in every other sentence then you're not seeing the forest for the trees.
i hope you forgive me for using your phrase for the title, much more fitting.
utilize instead of use lol
Or leverage as a verb. "We can leverage this work elsewhere."
SO TRUE
When something is "strong"
I like to sneak in ad hoc every now and then.
When a project "doesn't seem to scale"
How about it's not gonna fuckin work instead
I prefer bad puns at awkward times...
My boss uses, "what I struggle with" instead of "I don't like this". "...leading to more productive outcomes" instead of "get shit done faster" “That's what I'm saying" instead of "I don't understand what the fuck you're saying but I'm going to agree to make it seem like I give a shit. Just do what I want you to." “My 104 ft Hatteras" instead of "my micropenis". All classics.
Ex-ante and ex-post are classics.
Cheat Sheet
Expeditiously
i like the word superfluous - as in, your post is superfluous in the unnecessary sense of the word.
Post-synthesis
AND
It is what it is
IReversing questions is my favorite. When asked how something works, ask how they believe it works. Then question the pillars of their thesis. Through this, you don't have to give an opinion, and therefore you can never be wrong.
Maybe not quite big words, but anytime someone says there's "no there there" I write them off forever. Not a fan of corporate jargon generally, but somehow that particular one makes me cringe so hard I sprain a face muscle. I have a once-promising colleague who's dead to me because he says that.
heart attack in lieu of serious
Overuse of football terms is always funny to me.
I once had a colleague who, despite appearing to be an everyday American bro, didn't know the first thing about sports. He fit every other stereotype . . likes beer, girls, off color jokes, weed etc . . but for whatever reason the sports thing escaped him from birth. Maybe had weird parents I dunno.
Anyways, we were first years in IB and he'd be in meetings where someone used a football term, and he would write it down and come by my desk later and ask me quietly what it meant. "Is calling an audible a football thing?" "I know blocking and tackling is football but what does that mean here?".
I never associated blocking and tackling with football but that makes so much more sense than sailing. I never misunderstood what it meant, I just saw it as how a block and tackle are required to rig and sail a boat. Now I feel like an idiot.
I think that dude was just trying to hit on you.
Cultured Europeans mingle different languages when a certain expression sounds better in another language, ie. schadenfreude, à propos, sprezzatura, et cetera.
Putain de merde pendejo scheisse
ah Schadenfreude! felt but not spoken.
“Serendipitous“
Opine instead of comment
lollapalooza
If you don't use "delta" and "de minimus" are you really C-Suite. Also, "trust the process."
I'm going to disagree with the up-front strategy. I had to completely re-write a due diligence questionnaire today because the RFP writer was clueless and it was for a major potential client and already overdue.
When it asked about liquidity I almost wrote that: "The fund narrows the portfolio using a Herfindahl–Hirschman Index until it is at an effective N that is two thirds that of the benchmark index."
Eventually I decided that I needed to not piss off my client, and wrote: "The fund removes low ranking stocks until it is 2/3 as liquid as the benchmark. See Appendix C, P.47 for details."
Sometimes you need to know your client, and then save the big words just in case they challenge you for using the small ones. When they go on Wikipedia or Investopedia and realize that those are real things and related to each other, they will never challenge you again and thank you for using little words, because you're smarter than them.
That's not "big words", that's industry jargon. "big words" are used to replace 1-3 words where 1 word would complete the sentence more succinctly.
For example why say it's a bluish and yellowish color instead of it's green.
Or
Instead of saying Crying provides psychological relief through the open expression of strong emotions. = Crying is cathartic.
What you wrote about the Herfindahl index uses just as many words in both cases.
Does anyone besides Sixers fans say "trust the process" unironically?
Ha, EXACTLY
"What's on the docket for this week?"
Nauseating.
“Circle back”, and fucking “robust”. Want to plow my fist through a wall every time I hear these
All hands on deck
“Circulate” is another one. So annoying
"Pencils down on this one" is another stupid af phrase.
What, are we taking an exam or something?
One of the fucking worst. Also +1 sb for the Randy Moss/Kevin Garnett prof pic
Idiosyncratic
Confluence and bifurcate are words I hear a lot in IB and consulting; don't think it's pretentious at all to use 'em; just make sure you use big works in the right context or else you'll just look silly; use 'em or lose 'em
False positive...
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