matched this hot girl on hinge - she's really nice and friendly and going well. However there is one thing im concerned about.. she keeps banging on going to nice restaurants together, and her bio promopts are all about restaurants e.g. "the way to win me over: take me to fancy restaurants" and "the key to my heart: buying me food" etc.. just seems really nice and talkative but she ALWAYS steers the convo to going to a fancy restaurant together, no matter the topic she somehow spins the reply to involve going to a fancy restaurant. Would you say this is just her love language of food or seems like one of those girls that just rinses guys on apps to pay for her to eat out at restaurants?
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Lmao. Glad you asked since you're maybe a bit too close to it and thinking with what's down there (which I compeltely get)
Sounds 99% likely that it's the latter. Suggest first meeting for coffee / drinks to get to know each other a bit, and then maybe dinner date later (but even then, I would do that only 3rd date and beyond). If she ghosts, then you know
Generally no unless it’s like an absolutely super premium chick (professional model, people literally awkwardly stare when she’s around etc)
Always risky for dinner first date - compromise and go to a high-end exclusive bar instead
Wouldn't a high-end exclusive bar be much more expensive than dinner? Yes dinner is expensive especially at fancy restaurants, but drinks nowadays are equally as expensive
One drink each is cheaper and faster than 2hours or more at dinner.
When have you had one drink at a bar
One drink 😂
well, you'll be done with one drink within 20-30 min even if you intentionally try to make it last. and even if you decide to just sit with an empty glass and not order anything else, the girl will probably keep ordering, especially cause you need to give your card to open the tab, so the girl knows that the drinks are on you. and if you decide to sit with an empty glass for the majority of the date, the girl will for sure assume that you're either cheap or poor and not see you again (even though it's a much smarter decision not to waste money on crazy overpriced drinks, girls don't care).
100%. For dinner you can get a burger, salad, or sushi roll for $15-20 each, or a pizza for the table for like $25-30. So in total, it'll be $25-40.
At high end exclusive bar, a tiny drink 80% filled with ice will be $25-30. If you're chatting for 1.5-2 hours, you'll each have 2-3 drinks, so it's $100-180.
I tend to avoid these people especially if our first interaction is on an app meaning I’m not the only person talking to her. It’s an uphill battle and you don’t want to be with someone who you’re constantly having to one up yourself or keep them entertained
As a first date would definitely organise just drinks that way you are not committed to a long evening and an easy escape if it isn’t going well.
Don’t be a sucker. If she was just really into food, she’d be just as happy with you showing her a cheap hole in the wall that is shockingly good or a food truck that punches above its weight.
There are low key places on the Michelin guide. Needing the restaurant to be “fancy” for a first date just means she wants you to pay for an expensive meal.
I think one thing to remember is that online personas and face to face personas are sometimes polar opposites. Especially on dating apps where you can rehash the same stories or chat patterns with a lot of folks. If she's only chatting through the app and only offering meeting (and you paying) at a fancy restaurant, I would wager she's doing this with a few other people either in serial order or concurrently.
I agree with the other commentor, offer a good option for dinner if she's truly a foodie and if she turns you down for it not being fancy, then you have your answer.
Dinner dates are horrible first dates b/c seating arrangements make it harder to make a move. Plus if there’s no chemistry, you know off the bat, and you’re stuck there for another hour+
Been there... and as the guy, dropping $100-200 on the dinner sucks. I remember dating a girl who was only conveniently available at night time on weekdays and never during the day on weekends.
Unfortunately for some first dates, dinner is the only option for working professionals.
Del
I usually take first dates on a private jet to Paris, just to make a good first impression. Can only go upwards from there right?
Joking aside, unless you're just trying to do a one nighter with her, there's no point splurging cash at a top end restaurant on the first date. Chances are, you might not like her at all. Get to know her first over a drink or a coffee then decide if it's reasonable to pursue further IMO.
When I was younger I use to take every date to a top restaurant and in most cases it was just a waste of time and money frankly speaking.
I like going to dinner.
Lol the simp epidemic continues on WSO
Meal ticket.
you figured it out yourself:
The key is to keep it low effort. Not for you, but for them. As long as you're not taking them to an Arby's not special will do. My last ex worked near me down in the financial district, which is short of places. (thank you geolocated 'dating' services) Saying "let's get dinner at a place I know two blocks from your work" was a masterstroke. The duck was killer, the drinks were pretty good, and I think we got out of there for $100. After splitting a slice of pie nearby at Lady M we went to a bar, and ...things... happened between us in back.
Long story short, within two months we'd moved in together, and our one year anniversary dinner was at the Grammercy Tavern. It was a beautiful summer afternoon, so I insisted we sit outside, which makes it technically not Michelin starred dining, but you get the point.
Broke hoes these days just want a free meal. Unless she's a dime piece no, never go to a nice restaurant on the first or even second date. They aren't worth it and you ain't gettin none of it. Wait till you find someone you actually like and test the waters till date 3+.
Red Flag brotha
You work in PE/IB assumedly and you know firms don't shell out significant cash unless their sure so take the same approach. As people mentioned above, there are are a lot of women out there in it just for some the experiences and don't be that sucker that provides it.
If she is truly into you, she won't care where you go. My barometer to suss out whether a girl is too superficial for me is to suggest a cheap-ish first date (coffee / a few drinks) and if she balks at it, then you've saved yourself $300.
Definitely have fallen into this trap before - go on maybe 1-2 dates / week in NYC. Never led to something more meaningful after a dinner first date in the long run. versus something more casual like coffee / drinks if from an app or a mutual friend, which have infinitely higher ROI and usually you / a friend can pre-vet before you take her out somewhere nice(r). with that being said if she's a couple standard deviations to the right of someone you'd usually take out, why not
100% free dinner grab
u r new to the game
Bring her on by the farm shop for a cup of cow juice
Sounds like the latter. Really odd she would keep bringing the conversation back to going to a nice restaurant no matter the topic. Hopefully this convo is happening over text and not the app. Even then, key is to set the first date as quickly as possible and then go from there with the texting. Set the date for a bar or restaurant with good food that wont break the bank and you will have your answer.
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