Are you guys friends with your co workers? Obviously this is dependent on the person, but generally do you have a friend/group of friends?
I work at a multifamily developer in acquisitions and I personally don't- our culture doesn't really encourage it and social company meetups are always awkward. My colleagues usually don't reveal their true personality around the office. Sometimes I wish I had more friends in the office. Also think external groups can pick up on the fact that my co workers are not close with one another.
But do believe there are perks. Not having friends allows you to solely focus on work at hand, and does not lead to having biases towards someone who's a friend vs someone who isn't. Also there's no "out of work drama"
Curious to hear what other CRE firms cultures are like and peoples feelings towards in-office friendships.
Your culture doesn't encourage...friendship?
Not directly discouraging it, just the general environment is very business focused.
Do you not go out to lunch with a handful of people? Or drinks after work? Or talk about sports or TV shows or politics or whatever?
I can't say I have ever become best friends with anyone I've worked with, but I've definitely had "work friends" in every office I've been in.
I’m friends with some people - I know who to put on a face around. Would much rather work with friends when possible, makes the office/work a lot more fun.
Not really. I get along with people I work, do the innocent small talk and join the team-building stuff that happens, but it doesn't really extend too far personally. I definitely have a different personality outside of work vs people i work with
Can very much relate to this. Part of it for my situation is age gap (mid-late 20s vs early 40s-mid 60s). At networking events with younger counterparts I'm definitely more myself.
yeah an age gap can really make a big difference
Friendship is weakness.....You are there to destroy them!!!!!!!!!!
I love oversharing — maybe it’s the Midwest in me. This is gonna be unpopular, but I don’t even view coworkers as coworkers, I view them as “family” that I’m stuck with.
I mean, there’s nothing you can do about the amount of involvement they have with your day-to-day, so why not be friends?
completely deranged
Delulu is the solulu
Obligatory I have not nor have I ever worked in CRE, but have worked in a few different environments (IB, Consulting, Corp Dev) and feel I can provide some context.
To start, OP, I definitely get the environment you're in and have worked at companies like this before. Here are a few scenarios where I felt your pain:
Age Gaps on Siloed Teams
In one instance, I worked on a small siloed team where there were major age gaps (I was 25, Director was 38, VP was 45, SVP was 50), so yes, we weren't exactly making post-work plans regularly. If this is the case, unless you network outside of our team, I would expect things to stay as is and assume that you likely won't be as close with the senior guys unless they really make an effort.
Bad Culture
If you work in a sweaty environment or with a lot of folks you don't mesh well with, odds are you feel isolated a lot at work. When you're on a very self-serving team where the hours are bad, it is going to be hard to generate any level of comradery. If this resonates, it may be time to find a new place to work.
The Bottom Line
A few years ago I left a very similar environment to join a bigger team with a much stronger culture, and I didn't realize how much I was missing out on. I can't tell you how nice it is to be surrounded by folks my own age that I can lift with, play sports with, grab a drink with. My co-workers will never fill the role of my true friends, and while I don't often hit them up on the weekends, its nice to know that if I wanted to, I could. I know the job market isn't great right now, but it might be worth dusting off your resume and reaching out to a few recruiters in your space. Remember, while this isn't a deal breaker, life is certainly better when you work with people you like and enjoy interacting with.
Appreciate the well thought out answer. Happy with what I get to work on and feel I'm getting good experience. Also getting my MSRE 60% covered while working full time.
That being said, probably looking to move in the next 1-2 years. Would like to work on a broader range of asset types in not just one market, plus the culture is a downside. I've been passively looking for 1.5 years, but nothing that made me want to jump ship. Do you have any recommendations for screening for culture, spotting green flags and red flags?
I see, well it sounds like you've been thoughtful and have a pretty good position, especially while still wrapping up your MSRE. Good for you, and once that wraps, it may make more sense to increase the intensity on the job search, but of course you know your situation much better than I do.
Regarding finding good culture, it really depends on how senior you are.
For example, if you are say <30, the following questions can typically work well:
1. Tell me about the culture of the group - super basic and intuitive, but if they get nervous or start to stammer, you can immediately view this as a bad culture environment. This should be as easy for them to answer as walk me through your resume is for you.
2. I previously worked in an environment where co-workers would get together outside the office, is that the case here - An interviewee actually said this in our recent hiring cycle, and it played a small part in him getting the offer. It showed that he wanted to make meaningful connections with his co-workers, and that he had a strong cultural impact at his last company.
3. How would you describe the interests or personality types of the team - This is a great question to get at the root of what you actually care about, am I going to get along with these guys and gals and do we share interests? This is honestly a question you should always ask when you feel you are close to securing the offer, or even after youve got the offer in hand. For example, our team leans heavily into golf and tennis (the typical country club sports ik...), and this is a plus or minus for some folks. However, I have found that I work with a couple car enthusiasts, and this to me is a huge pro. I wouldn't have accepted this, but it was awesome to join a team where I wasn't the only gearhead.
If you're above 30 and looking at more senior roles, Im not experienced enough to provide insight as Im not in that leg of my career yet, but I think for any position that requires <8 years of experience the above should be helpful questions to ask.
Hope this helps!
How old are you if you don't mind me asking? Curious at what age you're looking to make a switch
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