Hedge Fund Stripper
You guys know I love irony and today's post sure does bring a good bit of hardness to the table. In the spirit of the 99% I want to tell you about a fabulous young lady named Niki Marx, who has found a truly unique way to turn her capitalist oppressors into her own personal revenue stream. You see, Ms. Marx is the stripper turned hedge fund manager who has allegedly raked in 160% returns this year.
Marx NY Capital LLC, specializing in domestic equities, options, commodities, global commodities including crude, PGMs and precious and base metals. As Ms. Marx has simultaneously been busy suing the pants off several former employers for... sexual harassment, her ability to stay up on her tweets is downright mesmerizing and awe inspiring. Have a gander at some of these investopedia worthy wisdoms and day dream about the day you will be worthy of swimming in her investor pool.
Niki Marx Taking the series 3 test nest week , red the book for 3 min and sad hey I know this stuff already, I will just take the test skip the studyyy ahead..I remember I never liked homework I used to read my homework off an empty page to my teachers. ( Improvising homework last minute)
Good.
Nikki MarxMy first investor looked like Warren Buffett he had white hair and big black glasses. I was pitching so well that he would buy instantly stocks based on my hints even though he was a 45 year Wall Street Veteran and I was a baby on Wall Street.
Better.
Niki MarxI own Puts again, by the time I want to short cover...like the rest.... it will be time to add more Puts. Dead cat bounce!
Best.
Now, Ms. Marx is not all brash and cash. She will get intimate with you, for no extra charge, as evidenced by Monday's Facebook status update:
Niki Marx Today the markets are going heavy against me. very stressfull. Need a joint to smoke I think.
Ah, yes. Full disclosure: I also hold ags.
So there you have it. How to be a hedge fund manager, without even trying. So as the hipsters cry and beat their meat pots into their piss pans over life not being fair, Niki Marx is proving that anyone can rush headlong into success, by backing that ass up.
Now, tell me something, boys...I am curious: What is the most money you have ever spent on a stripper in one night? I'm curious if any of you have personally funded Ms. Marx or some other pole cleaner's golden parachute ? Personally, I once ate the poison pill and married one, so feel free to be honest. Ya couldn't have spent more than this dick.
Is she hiring?
^^^X2!
Here ya go boys...
http://www.facebook.com/NIKKIMARXX
$400 at treasures, and thats excluding the bet I won for two $60 cigars
I was 21
I'm actually stunned by two facets of this story:
1) It's inconceivable to me that you can be a hedge fund manager without having already passed the Series 3.
and
2) YOU MARRIED A STRIPPER?
1) Guessing its sort of like I'm a "baseball manager" in my fantasy league
2) Drove her to it, unambitious party girl when we met
Baller. Driven to stripping as a catalyst to get her shit together. We should probably discuss the definition of "husband" on a future NSFW. I should know. I've been one three times.
I dropped $800 once. Most nights are just a C note.
You are the high roller so far, though I am guessing guys are shy to share. FWIW, I gave a mildly retarded Latvian stipper 50 French Francs a couple of years back. Once she got laughed out of the back room, I never saw anyone in six inch heels move that fast.
best estimate...AUM = 34C, thoughts?
This thread has real potential.
I smell info product
Trust me, my profligate retardedness isn't something to be proud of haha
coworker of mine paid 600 for a handjob in vegas @ spearmint rhino lol
must have been one hell of a rub and tug for 600 it better have been bare hand on cock, none of that rubber glove bullshit.
my best story is NSFWO
Sounds like a complete fraud to me. Kind of like the prospective client that kept dropping "my secret for success" phrase last night.
Where did this chick go to school?
I just sent her a link to this thread, maybe she will come in
I'd buy her straddle.
I mean strangle.
Niki Marx : sometimes I get really white and sometimes I look dark kind of strange -commenting on one of her pics
kind of chick patrick bateman would go n hv a drink with and yell "You're a fucking ugly bitch. "
Drunkenly hobbled into a strip club right after being assaulted and mugged by 5 guys. Had no cash, and even had my shoes stolen, but ended up with VIP dances all night. You'd be amazed what effect being injured has on women. Didn't pay for a goddamn thing. Went to the ER in the morning with a smile on my face.
I threw the biggest cock block of my career at a strip club. The #2 guy in my firm came out to check out the office for some reason, and of course we all went out later. That included our hot secretary (who I kinda had a thing for). We went to dinner and a few bars before we hit the strip club, our secretary down for the whole night. This dude was working her hard and she was going for it, but I kept inserting myself at just the right time to shut him down.
At about 3 am I put her in a cab personally and sent her home. The #2 dude was not pleased. To this day I'm not sure why I did it (I never did end up banging her). I was just certain I didn't want him to bang her.
Being a cockblocker supreme, kinda guy myself I must acknowledge that I have heard this story 2 many times already. Just to add that on top of whorely matrimony with table dancing cumquats my diggedy darn self.
What does it mean? Nothing at all. But if Roy Halladay and Chris Carpenter gave up a combined 1 run and 9 hits tonight and I introduced a barely literate human of the female gender what WSO is, than BY GOD...
Ed, you son of a bitch. You deserve a swift kick in the nuts.
To this day it's a mystery to me why I did it. This chick was a serious damage case (as in, her brothers used to fuck her when she was a teenager), but for some reason I couldn't let this greasy douchebag run one into her. I probably spent my last shred of decency protecting the virtue of a woman whose career probably would have been helped by sleeping with the boss.
WTF. She looks like Frodo in clown make-up
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=2440303970087&set=a.241378534713…
I stare into your soul...
http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/300822_2403689494748_132…
If you guys found her Facebook amusing, check out her youtube account:
Regardless, she is trying to turn her life around on her own merit and I think that's quite commendable irrespective of her stripper background. I still think she's a fucking skank though.
I have perpetually hated cockblocks...
Like most stories in the news, no track record, no AUMs, no real bio...just the fact she grinded dicks for a living and now she's managing her stash.
I wager that no stripper making 160% returns in her first year will be around five years from now.
I would also like to know what type of hedge fund manager solicits their services on facebook, twiiter and the like, all while selling music on itunes?
It sounds like someone is repeatedly kicking a cat that's trying to cough up a hairball
^^^ Bloody hell, that was AWFUL.
She should be shot, in the face with man juice, for that terrible attempt to sing.
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