How depressed do you think that this date is?

Hello, A couple of weeks ago I went on a date with a woman. She is in her twenties and I am somewhere between 30-35 years old. Before we met she texted me the following: Are you sure you want to meet me?

I have lots of scars and I am fat. I have warned you.

I went on a date with her and I really liked her and I want to continue dating her. After a couple of days she told me that she was struggelig with depression.

She said she said that she was "far down and the she thought that it would not be good to wake up tomorrow." Me: If you have suicide thoughts you should contact the emergency room. Her: I am okay. Me. It is great to hear that you do not have suicide thoughts. She: I dont know. The day after she applogised for last night.

After a cuple of days I asked her how serious her depression is and she replied that it was not serious. However, I think that she just downplays her depression so that she seems more attractive to me. As I think that she sensed that it made me less interested in her after she told me that "she did not want to wake up" some days earlier. Both her and I are interested in having two kids in the future.

How depressed do you think that this woman is? If I get her pregnant with two children can her depression be worse and can her depression affect the future children?

Thank you very much for answering. Have a great day.

31 Comments
 
"Joblife" If I get her pregnant with two children can her depression be worse and can her depression affect the future children?
That is possible. My ex was in a relationship with a girl who had three children and often had depressive periods. At the end of the relationship everyone including my ex had depression. I believe one should be happy with oneself before venturing into a relationship.

Edit: In case you are interested to learn about the possible effects of childbirth on new mothers, look up the terms "baby blues" and "postpartum depression".

Array
 
Funniest

What in the actual fuck?

On a more serious note; No. You should get her pregnant. No way the kids will be affected. That's also a great idea for a second date - impregnate her. Two children will cure her depression. The first one might get her even more down, but you must persist. It is always darkest before the dawn. Two is the answer to all of her problems.

I don't know... Yeah. Almost definitely yes.
 
"QuiltEmerson" What in the actual fuck?

On a more serious note; No. You should get her pregnant. No way the kids will be affected. That's also a great idea for a second date - impregnate her. Two children will cure her depression. The first one might get her even more down, but you must persist. It is always darkest before the dawn. Two is the answer to all of her problems.

What in the actual fuck?

You're encouraging him to get her pregnant? "You should get her pregnant?" Sarcasm I hope.

"QuiltEmerson"

No way the kids will be affected.

The children could be affected. Not sure where you're getting any of this.

"Clinical depression, also known as major depressive disorder, is the most common form of depression. The Stanford School of Medicine estimates that 10 percent of Americans will experience this type of depression at some point in their lives. This type is also more likely to be shared by siblings and children. A person with a relative who suffers from depression is almost five times as likely to develop it."

https://www.healthline.com/health/depression/genetic

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

just move on. u don't have to be political correct in your dating life. she's trouble.

PS "contact the emergency room" is such stupid advice if someone says they have suicidal thoughts. first off try to listen and help, and then maybe mention it later along with psychotherapy. say it worked for close friends of yours or something like that so she feels normal. nowadays a lot of millennials have issues with mental health. Look over your "white knight" syndrome - you won't fix her. Just move on and find someone more stable...

made new unrelated account - dont reply or message as i never use it. 
 
"RealEstate_88" Run and never look back!

serieusly

serieusly?

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 
"Joblife" How depressed do you think that this woman is? If I get her pregnant with two children can her depression be worse and can her depression affect the future children?

Thank you very much for answering. Have a great day.

Depending on the pregnancy and her level of stress during and after the pregnancy, unipolar postpartum depression or bipolar postpartum depression are possible.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27982293/

Postpartum Depression: Bipolar or Unipolar? Analysis of 434 Polish Postpartum Women

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

You should honestly really think about how her depression might affect your household. You're not feeling it now, but by being with her, in the long-term, you might also become depressed or get tired of how negative or insecure she is about herself.

You should really try to help her out by making her see a therapist or someone who can help her. Many times, these people won't even go to get help because they are afraid of showing weakness and that they need help.

Ultimately, as bad as it sounds, I don't know if it really makes sense to stay with someone like this. Your kids will also feel their mother's depression and will be negatively affected by it. Think about it: if your mom was depressed all of your life, wouldn't you also feel worse about yourself and feel pity towards your mother? Mothers are supposed to be the kids' go-to when they need help or need love, not the other way around.

Will update my computer soon and leave Incognito so I will disappear forever. How did I achieve Neanderthal by trolling? Some people are after me so need to close account for safety.
 

Don't build a relationship based on being a saviour/white knight. I know it's very appealing for some reason because you think she will somehow see you are her light forever after. But most likely she will either drag you into her darkness, or "realize" she doesn't really like you that much because her judgement was just clouded by her depression and she was just looking for any branch to catch while falling.

 

My friend, if she hinted at suicide and after your ER advice she said "I'm OK" and you simply went "Great to hear you don't have suicide thoughts" you have autism on steroids. This is clearly a broken woman who needs a strong emotional anchor of a companion rather than someone who can lay a crispy pickle in her a pop out a kid or two. If anything, I would say you are definitely not for her. She needs someone else.

 
"The Pharma Guy" My friend, if she hinted at suicide and after your ER advice she said "I'm OK" and you simply went "Great to hear you don't have suicide thoughts" you have autism on steroids. This is clearly a broken woman who needs a strong emotional anchor of a companion rather than someone who can lay a crispy pickle in her a pop out a kid or two. If anything, I would say you are definitely not for her. She needs someone else.

I do not have autism at all and I am very socially smart.

 

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