how did going to all-boys school affect your personality?
I was educated in an all-boys school in Asia (a member of g30 schools) for the first 18 years of my life before I went to a semi-target college in the US. I am now 26 years old and have had a good career so far. I have been on dates with relatively hot girls (7-8 / 10) over the years, but nothing materialized further after the first 2/3 dates. Sometimes I got cold feet but mostly, girls start finding me obnoxious. They don't like my direct way of communicating and maybe get a sense that deep down I am anti-feminist (which to a certain degree may be true).. I am very good at getting along with guys and they tend to like me a lot. Case in point - 70% of my friends on facebook and linkedin are guys. Communication skills are not an issue for me at all...I am curious if there are others here who've found themselves in the same position as me after attending a single-sex school and how did it impact your personality and your ability to form relationships with members of opposite sex? should I try to do something about this or let it be? whatever trends may be I do think guys will always be a dominant member of the work-forces...thoughts?
This just made my day
lol @ self awareness but being 26 and not changing it
idk if this is the best outlet to get advice on this...
I would like to thank my mum & dad for sending me to a public co-ed high school.
Lol If you don’t want to be single for rest of your life, I suggest you do something about it. Maybe try to ask the girls that you meet about shopping, instagram and all the girls-stuff that girls like to do
Yes, this is great advice and will definitely help with the misogynist bit as well
Thank you for your support
I went to an all male high school and loved it. It definitely helped define me and my worldview. I've generally done well for myself with women. Pretty even between male and female friends, but I can definitely be short of temper.
Congrats on success w/ females. I just wanted to make it known to you and the rest of this anonymous forum that I have also had tremendous success with the females...certainly better than you and everyone else in this forum. Good Day.
I went to co-ed schools my entire life, but I must say I think I can somewhat relate.. My high school freshmen class reminded me of the Jackass crew. You would have guys just randomly moon you (take their pants off and show you their ass crack, hence the phrase the moon), get up in the middle of the class yell out OOO, or wrap their hands against their shirt and create jerk-off motions, and much more. Really fun time high school was.
I have developed a pretty unique and twisted sense of humor, that I keep to myself when meeting new people and introduce it to them in doses until it's too late. Maybe you should try that strategy haha
At the end of the day, if you don't put yourself out there, it doesn't matter what school you go to. I'm sure your school had a sister school with all girls, and they were probably dying to meet some guys..
I went to an all girls school, its really interesting cause leaving that environment was the exact opposite from your experience socially, but I could relate when it came to networking.
I had no idea how to make an impression in networking events, guys just seemed to click and fluidly carry conversation. Honestly, I think learning how to converse just takes practice.
Socially, when guys learn you went to an all girls school, they either think you're some sort of virginal prude, or you're wild. They're somehow interested in both.
Edit: This comment has 0 value. Sorry
Yeah dude you're just a regular guy. You're worried about nothing, just be less of a dick with women and boom you're problems are solved. You having 70% of your friends on Facebook and connections on linkedin is also a stupid data point to measure your social performance. Use your real life relationships to evaluate that. Legit every mature guy I've met has 0-2 real friends that are girls and a bunch of friends that are guys, and every mature girl i've met has 0-2 real friends that are guys and a bunch of friends that are girls. It's just the way the sexes interact.
(Apologies for the length, but really hope this perspective helps.)
Currently dating a guy who works in PE and he also attended an all-boys school... Yet, he’s easily one of the most gentle, supportive, and loving individuals that I know.
His secret?... He values women.
His family is upper class, and very southern hospitality. They are deeply involved in local philanthropy work and committing to causes. This not only contributes to him being a big empath, but many of these charity organizations are highly influenced by feminine structure. (Not to be confused with feminism.) These organizations’ management formation is typically women-centered, fore-fronting women to thrive in creativity, elegance, and being visionaries. In addition to his involvement in these environments, adjacently he encounters happily married men with high net-worths, during gala ball events.
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I’m in the same age range as you... 26 is certainly a great age to start holding yourself accountable, actively building towards new habits and corrective actions:
You don’t have to run out and join a fundraiser campaign, but you can start by:
Observing the different relationship dynamics with women in your life. (How do you treat your mom? Do you have sisters? If so, what’s that like? How often do you interact with women in your “day to day” life, and find yourself genuinely appreciative of what they do as women?)
Connect with QUALITY, older experienced male figures. Seek fellowship, preferably from men raised in higher class families. (Yes, class plays a role in how a man treats women.)
Research a good therapist, not only can they help you identify/resolve the source of female disconnect - but they can equip you with different exercises to implement, easing the burden. Same sex schools can subconsciously promote sexism... Holding on to what your environment was like years ago, as a rationale of your behavior, on top of passive advice from inexperienced males can be detrimental.
I noticed you mentioned the words “anti-feminist” and “dominate” above... which hint at gender roles complexities. I’m not sure what type of women you are attracted to, but I think you should consider exploring more “submissive-minded” women. These would be women that are not caught up in being equal to men or advocating gender competitiveness.
Feel free to PM, if you have any questions.
This. As someone who went to an all-girls school in an area pretty much dominated by all-girls and all-boys schools (we had 5+ brother schools) and then a few private co-ed, I saw such a difference between the guys who went to the co-ed schools compared to the ones who didn't. The richer/preppier (and therefore usually less diverse) the boys' school, the less cognizant the guys from the school seemed to be of the implications of how they viewed and treated women--and this is something I see carried on beyond high school/teenage years. At this point, it's about cognizance of the dynamics with the different women you interact with in your life and observing the implications of how you treat the women in those relationships. Seeing a therapist, talking with an experienced older person (as above post said) is definitely good start to increase this cognizance to eventually effectuate more informed/mindful approaches toward certain actions and relationships
What do you think about water polo???
I went to an all boys high school and it was a military academy at that so I think I get where you're coming from.
I've never felt like attending an all boys school really impacted my abilities with girls. Maybe when I was a freshman I was nervous simply because I had no clue how to actually hook up with a girl (not that child's play, middle school, spin the bottle shit). But I'm sure you went to parties where there were girls and dancing and all that right? How did you fare then?
I mean, I didn't have girls in my classes during arguably some of the most formative years in a guys life, but that never hindered me during the rest of high school or college. Just because you didn't have girls in your classes back then doesn't mean that girls now don't like you or respect you, unless you really are off-putting. I think you need to look at your approach and how you interact with them to see if it's something you're doing. I'm not about to give you relationship advice, but it's not difficult to just shut up and listen to a woman talk, they like guys who listen.
my priest says that going to the all boys school is the highlight of his week - he’s really been able to touch a lot of individuals, he loves coming there
Went to a private boarding boys school in England, as far as interacting with girls I haven't had your experiences. I think the only way it affected my personality was that it made me more of a "lad" if you know what I mean. Another thing I thought we developed was a thicker skin and better banter.
One of my older relatives went to an all-girl high school. In fact, he was the first boy to be admitted there, for some reason. Didn´t help him get laid, so he married the girl he met while at military academy.
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