How does one grow $5,000 to $1,000,000

Your life savings and assets are taken away due to identity theft and crappy luck. You lost your job, wife and kids. Your dog left you for your neighbor's premium canine chow. All you have left is $5,000 and you've given up on life so all you care about is turning it into $1,000,000. You're ready to palm those millions as soon as you can. What do you do?

Include benchmarks for the timeline leading up to the year you reach the $1,000,000 point. Get your free silver bananas here.

34 Comments
 

Step 1: Buy a bag of Doritos for $3 Step 2: Give Jimmy the bag to use his time machine and go back in time Step 3: Invest in Amazon

Results: You get rich, know to avoid the coming identity theft, keep your wife and kids, keep your dog

“If you ain’t first, you’re last!” - GOAT
 
Funniest

Have $5,000 USD

Take a flight to Zimbabwe for $2,236.80

Find a free currency exchange

Exchange remaining $2,763.20 for Zimbabwe dollars

Congratulations, you now have $1,000,000

“The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary.” - Nassim Taleb
 

I know a very few selected people who are artists who actually took equity from startups.

They're living well-off already from it. It's not cheap and is not easy to create the "perfect" logo. A lot of work goes into it.

No pain no game.
 

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