How Flex Seal Saved My Career...

"Flex_Seal" Hi Everybody,

One can say that I took an unorthodox route in my career. I got my job just like everyone else, I networked tirelessly and ended up getting lucky at a BB. During my first year with the firm, I wasn't necessarily the best analyst, actually far from it. I couldn't keep up with the Ivy kids and felt like I was getting swallowed up by my work and trying to balance that with my everyday life. During the start of my second year, it was the same old story, although I was improving slightly, I still couldn't figure out the concept of time value of money (you guys know how problematic that could be). I was stagnating in terms of career advancement, I knew IB was a hopeless route for me.

It was a cold winter night in the city, me and a few analysts decided to go out after work to get some drinks. Long story short I got trashed. I remember waking up the next morning and turning my TV on to watch SPIKE TV, but forgot how that channel is now overrun by infomercials. That's when I first saw him: Phil Swift. For those of you who do not know Phil Swift, he is the fabled brain behind Flex Seal. The infomercial turned a light on in my head, and I've never looked back since. The next day before work, I got up and went to a hardware store nearby and picked up a can of Flex Seal. In all honesty, I'm not sure why I bought it, but I am pretty sure it has something to do with Phil Swift's impeccable charisma in his infomercials. Naturally, I bring the can of Flex Seal with me to work.

The day was fast paced, we had a bunch of deals that were close to closing and I was being berated by the directors in my group because I still had no idea how to navigate PowerPoint efficiently. I felt worthless. All of the sudden, fate struck me. My MD threw a temper tantrum and threw his chair across his office, shattering a lot of essential working parts of the chair, and destroying a pitchbook we needed for one of our clients. I realized that this was my moment to finally do something helpful in the office, and I just so happened to have a can of Flex Seal on me. I ran into his office, not making eye contact or exchanging any words with him. I just went to town on his chair with the Flex Seal. It was poetry in motion, I put together that chair just like Phil Swift taught me on the infomercial. My boss was in awe, but still frustrated that the pitchbook was destroyed. I assured him that the highbrow Phil Swift thought about that scenario when creating his product. I quickly created a binding with the Flex Seal Extra-Strength spray to bind together the pitchbook, and my MD still had 5 minutes to spare. He was thankful, and assured me that my work would not go unnoticed.

I ended up losing my job, when I was using the Flex Seal to bind the pitchbook together, my lack of attention to detail failed to pick up on that I completely sealed the pages in a random order. Needless to say the client was disgruntled and stormed out of the office.

But this story has a happy ending. I now do freelance repairs on craigslist where I fix peoples stuff for them, solely using Flex Seal. As a side hustle, I make art with Flex Seal and sell them at local galleries. I hope this was entertaining and helpful for you guys.

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