Hey monkeys-
Exciting time of my life right now, as I just bought a ring and am planning how I'm going to pop the question to my current GF.
I'd really like to do it on a rooftop within the city skyline. Several rooftop venues throughout my city (major US city...think NYC/CHI/BOS/LA) have pre-set packages and pricing for exactly this type of thing. Many include additional items like complimentary hotel stay, bottle of champagne, roses, etc..
However, most of these options are much more expensive than I'm used to spending. For context, my preferred venue/hotel rooftop would run me about 15% of 1 month's take home pay. Not sure if you would consider that expensive or not (for what it is), but it's hard to pull the trigger on it when I could alternatively just set up some candles and a blanket in a park for free.
Luckily, my GF is very frugal, so I know she'll be happy regardless, but nonetheless I want to make her feel special.
I could really use some perspective on whether this is something many folks would spend on, especially considering the cost relative to income mentioned above^.
I'm aware much of this has to do with my personal willingness to spend the $ and what my preferences are. But any thoughts on the financial side of this decision are greatly appreciated.
Thanks!
I kind of messed mine up and definitely didn't put enough thought into it.
So you're on the right track lol
haha, thanks for the perspective. Did she comment about it later/afterwards? Or do you just wish you had done more?
Well, I got the ring and was really excited about it and gave it to her that day because I'm not great about keeping surprises.
Then I took her to hawaii but I forgot to do some special thing to surprise her/make it special lol
She wasnt super mad or anything just kind of let down.
" 15% of 1 month's take home pay."
That's $1,500 if you make $10K per month. How is this a lot? Don't vacations cost that much or more?
Good point and thanks for the input. Yes it would basically be the cost of a vacation, which probably suggests go ahead and do it, since this moment is going to be more important to her than a vacation.
Only other hesitation is that I could be doing it in a free location that is just as meaningful (intimate park, beach, lakefront/riverfront, etc).
I guess the question I really have to ask myself is: will spending the additional $ generate a more valuable memory/moment for her, compared to the alternative?
Wherever you choose, just make sure to get a good photographer to capture the moment. She (and everyone's family and friends) will treasure these picture and the wedding pictures. Good photographers are expensive, but worth it.
Also, congrats! Excited for you and your missus' new future life!
Thank you!!!
The important thing is that you do the type of thing that she would want. Many people might not feel comfortable in a busy restaurant/rooftop or even around friends/family (or photographer). So whatever you do, think about what she is going to be excited about.
For me, the engagement part was very low key (at our apt and just the two of us). But then we went to dinner and I had a surprise trip to Europe planned. All in spent a fair bit, but it was also a vacation, so that helped.
I'd try to find something that is meaningful to her or your relationship. If that place is somewhere expensive, so be it.
For fucks sake just go have a drink on a rooftop and pop the damn question. Do you want something memorable or something that feels like it was picked out of a magazine? Just have something memorable to say. I feel this is actually where more guys leave chips on the table. Sure you could do some really facny dinner and fly around the city on a helicopter but if you stumble and just say "will you marry me" shes going to remember the interesting bits but it will always be capped by mumbling.
From friends of mine who have planned elaborate things to have just randomly popped the question on a walk in a park. They all have or their wives said that what they rememer most was what their husbands said to them.
$0. Save the money for the wedding and honeymoon.
Just spend the money, especially if she’s frugal as it may be more special to her than what she’s used to. A couple of grand is nothing in the scale of your life
I think my fiancé spent about 2k on our proposal setup and it was beautiful (however the ring was around a 3.2 ct diamond so it was probably expensive). I am also pretty frugal so even just the 2k blew me out of the park.
Wow 3.2 carats!!!!
So the total cost of a rooftop and champagne and a nice hotel room package is around 1,500 and you’re balking at the price? Man, I thought I was cheap.
Just depends on what you want to do, I have friends that did it at home for free, and others that planned an entire Euro trip to do it. For mine, I think I spent ~$50 on drinks, ~$500 on a photographer, then had a dinner after with family that they paid for (probably $500).
My proposal was in the Rocky Mountains after Dinner at a nice restaurant. We went to one of the scenic mountain lakes and had it reserved so it would just be the two of us. Had my family set everything up rugs, photos, flowers, etc. to make for a more romantic spot.
I debated the big skyline proposal but now looking back I am glad I made the decision I did just because truthfully you don’t remember your proposal as much as you do your wedding day. I would say you should go all out for the wedding and have a nice but not over-the-top proposal. We have one photo of our proposal in our bedroom but multiple photos of our wedding scattered throughout our home. Just make it special, have family there if possible, and focus on the words and the feelings rather than the material stuff.
Good luck to you! Exciting time for sure!!!
I am really into a scenic proposal like this. I think it would be sick to get drone video of the proposal in addition to a photographer. Maybe a drone video at sunset, with a time elapse of the sun going down and then slow down, zoom in on the "on one knee action" with the skyline in the background and really capture the moment.
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