5 Comments
 

You have to literally treat them like you’re dealing with a crazy girlfriend. You basically have to eat all of the emotions good and bad. If they’re having a bad day tough shit you gotta eat it. If they’re in a good mood laugh at their jokes. If they’re pissed off, leave them alone shut the fuck up and do as you’re told.

 
Most Helpful

This can be quite tough.

  • Recognise that nothing you do or say is likely to change their behaviour, you're inferior to them and if they're as you have described, likely see you as a resource and not a person
  • Be professional, keep all of your interactions with them purely professional. Stay calm, respectful and focused on your work. This should prevent you from 'stooping' to their level
  • Seek clarification, if they're being passive aggressive try and seek clarification. "I really want to get this right for you and the team. Can you provide a bit more detail so I know how to improve this?" Try and seek clarification from somebody more tenured than you, but less senior than them if their feedback is consistently unhelpful
  • Maintain visibility and develop your mentors, cultivate relationships with colleagues both up and down the hierarchy so that you have people provide perspective when times really get tough
  • Focus on the work, concentrate on delivering work to the highest possible standard instead of thinking about their passive aggressive comments. IB is tough and you need to develop the fortitude to block these people out when needed!
  • Manage stress, if it's getting too much, know how to get help... Look after your mental and physical health outside of work, so that you don't become engulfed with this stuff 24/7
  • Know when to escelate, if the behaviour gets really bad, worsens, becomes threatening or malicious... Consider speaking to recruiters, a TRUSTED mentor, or in extreme situations, HR. Remember that HR is generally never on your side, and as a less-tenured employee, you're seen as canon fodder unless there are many complaints stacking up
  • Document interactions, document interactions/emails/comments/meetings with this person. If there are five or so instances of this behaviour and it ever requires reporting, it would look foolish to say "Oh, he's passive agressive, but I can't think of any specific examples at the moment"

Keep your chin up, it will get better.

If you'd like a mentoring session to cover some of this, let me know. Always happy to help.

 

On documenting interactions, what if this VP always skip the associate and call you (Ana1) on the phone unprompted and ask passive aggressive questions? Suspect part of the reason he does this is it leaves no trace and can't be used against him

 

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