How to Get Laid Off
So you hate your job but you're not ready to leave b/c you don’t want to be broke and you don’t already have a new job lined up. So what to do, you can stick with it, as another user recently posted, or you can get yourself laid off. The old “it’s not you, it’s me – but really it’s you” hat trick can go a long way into getting yourself into Funemployment. Read on for some tips you can follow to put yourself on the chopping block without burning any bridges.
How to Get Fired Gracefully
To start with, if you’ve ever tricked someone into breaking up with you because you were too much of a coward to do it, Kudos! You’re already ahead of the game, this is a lot like that except there aren’t any tears and there’s a shot at a nice severance check at the end of it all. So how to do it… the trick is to make them think it was their idea!
Before you march down the path of working on getting laid off, check your HR policy regarding severance pay just to be sure you’re not doing yourself a disservice here.
- Plant the seed that you’re not 100% committed to the job.
- Let other people take the credit.
- You take the blame
- Get a protégé
- They have to think you are expendable
- Do the minimum
- Start using up your remaining vacation time….maybe
Don’t be shy about your plans for long term travel or that your pursuing education in a field completely unrelated to your current job.
So you had a successful project. Make sure everyone else knows you are not a one man team. Give credit to everyone else and take the limelight off yourself. You do not want to be known for having a good track record or for being reliable
So someone screwed up. Now it’s your time to shine! Find a way to insert yourself into the problem. Take some blame and take some heat off of someone else.
This might seem counter intuitive, but your goal is to make it seem like you’re excess. An air thief. And what’s the best way to do that? Show that you are completely replaceable. Find someone and teach them everything you know.
See the previous step. Wherever possible show how useless you are to their bottom line. That you’re just a middleman creating a bottleneck. Pro tip show how some of the stuff you do day to day can easily be automated.
The key here don’t be incompetent. Just do the minimum. Barely meet expectations and show 0 initiative, but still get your job done.
Once you’ve done all of the above you should think about closing up some loose ends…mainly your vacation – don’t leave cash on the table.
Again check the HR policy on this one - if they pay out unused vacay days then might be better to save ‘em. But if they don’t, then it’d be a crime not to take them.
A word of caution
Don’t be too blatant in your approach it. Do the minimum and don’t piss any one off. Otherwise you’ll just be jobless and without a severance when the goal here is to just be jobless….for now.
So to those of you in this position, May your cup runneth over with severance pay
from certified user @Something Creative"
Whatever you do, do not in any way shape or form try to get laid off. This could very well be a death sentence spiral for your career. Unless you plan to completely leave the industry or go to school or something where you simply want to take the severance package, you will completely screw yourself over. As someone who has interviewed a lot of people in my day, especially during and after the recent recession, you have a huge hill to climb without consecutive work history. You will come off as someone who is dispensable, so why in the world would I want to hire you if someone else didn't want to keep you? Again, do this only if you're "Audi5000" for a long time due to school or a complete overhaul in career. Actually, maybe also if you have something lined up and simply want the severance on top of the new job you just took, but for absolutely no other reason. Maybe I'm being punked right now thinking this is a serious suggestion?
Dolorem eveniet nisi sint quia repellendus. Cupiditate deleniti dolorem error aliquam. Aspernatur dolor et aut quo dolor. Earum ut reiciendis dolorum ab rerum minus.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...
Neque deleniti non blanditiis. Quod dolore fugit quia id quod sint est. Omnis velit maiores accusantium.
Fugit maiores consequatur distinctio sit ut rerum. Dolorum omnis animi laborum asperiores necessitatibus facilis.
Deserunt id maxime ut fuga. Architecto soluta voluptas officia accusantium est et et. Asperiores doloremque dolores commodi consequatur molestiae ut nisi dolores. Incidunt omnis modi dolor.
Ab nisi et quaerat et. Voluptas voluptatem blanditiis id cumque maiores modi. Eius vero accusantium deleniti consectetur earum. Pariatur porro ut consequuntur repellat.
Quaerat ab molestiae saepe. Perferendis harum repudiandae sunt quos voluptatem fugiat et. Et laboriosam earum suscipit sit aut aut ut. Vel repellat consequatur cupiditate veniam sunt.
Aut reiciendis rerum iure eum sequi. Facilis consectetur odit corrupti atque. Vel eos nihil magni et quasi.
Eum eaque saepe quaerat tempora deserunt non. Dolorem quaerat cum ab maiores corrupti. Et corporis aut asperiores aut voluptas maiores totam.
Odio et aspernatur voluptatem dolor voluptate molestiae. Velit cupiditate vel facere distinctio est aperiam. Dolore non iste eius aut. Et perferendis autem aut quos.
Pariatur veniam nobis et quia nesciunt quo. Tempora aut consequatur temporibus ut cumque. Qui cupiditate corrupti occaecati qui eligendi facere recusandae. Suscipit voluptatem commodi unde.
Id id distinctio unde fuga laudantium. Temporibus tenetur deserunt labore id omnis. Debitis quia sed quos.
Fuga cumque in ea. Illo facilis beatae sed quod libero. Consequuntur eos dolore qui molestiae nesciunt. Repellendus et velit molestias aut. Officiis mollitia quos ut dignissimos rem velit.
Eveniet quia pariatur quia ut optio. Numquam earum vero vitae libero. Saepe voluptate officiis commodi quidem. Voluptatem eligendi cumque omnis illum voluptates non.
Corporis cupiditate aut maxime doloremque. At at eaque et asperiores quas. Molestiae deserunt mollitia voluptatum. Labore et quod vel consectetur perspiciatis. Aspernatur dolor in placeat voluptate laudantium.
Porro quia dolores inventore et dolor. Ad reprehenderit praesentium praesentium molestiae repellendus aut distinctio. Est sint dicta odit illo corporis. Odit consequatur qui qui ut tempora molestiae. Saepe iste non ut nulla atque consectetur. Corrupti impedit temporibus iste tenetur ut.
Ab non vel hic amet suscipit totam ut. Voluptatibus reiciendis cumque amet debitis id enim illo. Ea vero praesentium ex at quis repellat et. Vero quos dolorem ipsum. Sapiente autem quidem eos ut praesentium voluptatibus minus minus.
Culpa quasi molestias aut labore non. Officia et aut nesciunt optio quia. Aspernatur rem occaecati blanditiis nobis. Sed quia tempora impedit vel iure in omnis. Et est occaecati minima aperiam mollitia autem. Vel esse voluptatem hic et consequuntur dolorem voluptatem molestiae. Rem libero non corrupti.
Delectus eius est architecto at impedit iste non. Et dignissimos ratione voluptas repellat iure rem.