Recently broke up with my gf of several years and will be starting my first full time job soon. I have trouble focusing like this, and am generally in a bad mood.
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Going through the same shit bro. Focus on what you’ve built for yourself. Your job, your family, your achievements and start building a fucking God complex. Cry it out for a day or two, then put on your Gucci deal sleds and Patagucci vest and make the world your bitch. Start with some small wins like making your bed in the morning and then compound those wins till you accomplish something dope. Or you can just fuck her best friend, that usually works too
Remove yourself from social media, go to the gym religiously, read, spend as much time as you can with friends however not those who run in the same group as your ex if possible. Essentially just remove all signs of her from your life so you can lose the memories as fast as possible.
Was told to @Isaiah_53_5 💎🙌💎🙌💎"
lol I am also just out of a break up. It’s a different situation though - she wants to be best friends and we still text all the time.
Sorry to hear that :(
First you say to take sleeping pills, then you list benzos which aren’t sleeping pills and then you tell him not to sleep.
Dude, I think you might need some sleep, you’re not making sense here.
6 hours is a lot nowadays? The fuck? What kind of shitty ass tier 7 groups are you working in? When I was in grade school, I got 5-6 hours of sleep every night.
Depends on how bad it was. Spending time with friends and family is important. Hitting the gym usually works but sometimes it’s hard to focus.
For me, I find you never really get over her until you have real good sex with another girl
"Best thing I ever did was fall out of love" - Future
I am truly sorry to hear of your broken heart. I have had my share of them. I could tell you something trite like "O this to shall pass" or "In time your heart will heal" but lets face it... right now it simply sucks! There really is NO way around that.
Here is what I do know though. Everyone is different BUT most men tend to have an easier time getting over a broken heart. They tend to bounce back quicker.
When I would suffer a broken heart I would often times allow myself to lick my wounds for a couple days but if it were a big one I would let myself grieve if you will a bit long sometimes a week sometime two. I would however tell myself, life is to be lived and so you need to make sure you dust of your knees and get back out there. At first it might be just going out with your friends or taking time to smell the air and feel the sun on your face. The point is to get out and connect, either with you and invest time in things you once enjoyed or with friends.
I found that if I could focus on what was good about the relationship and the "we are great people just on great people for one another" much like you did it helped me a lot. I would try to focus my energy on remembering the good.
When you are ready ask yourself these questions:
1) What did I like about it and why?
2) What didn't I like about it and why?
3) What did I do great in the relationship that I def want to do in the future?
4) What happened in the relationship that I didn't like and how do I overcome that in the future?
5) What lessons have I learned how do I make them positive?
6) What was it about her that I really liked that I hope to have in a future relationship?
7) What didn't I like about her and how could I have seen it sooner to potential stop me from seeking a companion like that in the future? I am not saying with this one she is a bad person BUT there are things that as people we find compatible and not. Some of these things we don't discover till you are well into a relationship and if you had known from the beginning you might not have dated after all. You have the luxury of reflecting and pin pointing identifiers that you can use in the future with women.
When you combine all of these answers you end up having some closure. You have and organized way of reflecting which can sometimes help the emotional side heel. It will also help you further down the road but right now I am not going to get into that.
Our hearts are very special and unfortunately part of accepting love into our life and enjoying and experience all the gifts and joy that brings we also open the door to the pain and ache that it can bring. I personally believe, that even with the dark side of love and the risk that comes with it, the positive and reward of letting love into your life and letting someone become close to you is worth far more then and of the pain a broken heart gives. With each broken heart you have a choice, to become bitter and angry (and for a couple of day that is ok) or to recognize that although it sucks you have just been given an opportunity to grow into a better boyfriend or husband (if that is what you want) for that next special person or someday wife.
Time works wonders, but it takes time.
"You begin to forget these small things, then more important ones, until one day you even have a hard time trying to remember the exact colour of her eyes..." the quote goes so.
Good luck and remember, she is not the only one on this planet. You'll get over it.
No matter what anyone says, we know it sucks and you don't feel great. And that's OK.
Some things to keep in mind...
- It will get better with time
- Exercise/get some sun/talk with friends/etc. aka release 'feel-good' chemicals in your body
- If possible, get closure by talking to your ex. Keep it objective and don't let it devolve into heated emotions
- Controversial: go out and have more than a few rounds with your close friends. Don't bring up your ex, just go out and have a good time
- Controversial: go out and get laid
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