If you could punch one well known person in the face, who would it be?

I have a pretty long list but I'll just stick to my numero uno. Also, there are no consequences after hitting them.

Justin Bieber. Obama is a close second, but I HATE Justin Bieber. By far the biggest douche bag on the face of the planet. Kid thinks he's the greatest thing since sliced bread. It's only a matter of time before he goes into a stage 5 meltdown like Lohan or Bynes. (They use to be so hot).

155 Comments
 

Yea I'd for sure punch Justin Bieber in the face.

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee
 
TechBanking

Nancy Pelosi and/or Diana DeGette - I'm opposed to violence against women, but I think I could make an exception with these two.luminaries.

Pelosi was a close second for me there. I just can't get over wanting to punch Bieber in his shit eating grin

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee
 
StryfeDSP

Why waste a free punch on the Biebs?

I'd pick Diane Fienstein.

This is a good one.

My drinkin' problem left today, she packed up all her bags and walked away.
 

Piers Morgan + Paul Krugman. Maybe not Krugman as much, since he might turn out to be right 50 years down the road (who knows...). But definitely Piers Morgan.

 

Maxine Waters

"The HBS guys have MAD SWAGGER. They frequently wear their class jackets to boston bars, strutting and acting like they own the joint. They just ooze success, confidence, swagger, basically attributes of alpha males."
 

I feel like a nice backhand would be more enjoyable than a punch, personally. Still boggles my mind how MA elected two complete wingbats for senators.

"Some things are believed because they are demonstrably true. But many other things are believed simply because they have been asserted repeatedly—and repetition has been accepted as a substitute for evidence." - Thomas Sowell
 
SaltySpitoon

Justin Bieber.

Anyone who hates Bieber that much is clearly mental ill. Why be jealous of a guy who looks like he is 12 years old and makes his money selling $hity music to girls who are too young for anyone here.
 
John Daggett SaltySpitoon:

Justin Bieber.

Anyone who hates Bieber that much is clearly mental ill. Why be jealous of a guy who looks like he is 12 years old and makes his money selling $hity music to girls who are too young for anyone here.

Bieber gets more poon and makes more than 99% of users here. I would definitely be as cocky as him, it's just what happens when you get both fame and fortune.

 
DaisukiDaYo John Daggett:

SaltySpitoon:
Justin Bieber.

Anyone who hates Bieber that much is clearly mental ill. Why be jealous of a guy who looks like he is 12 years old and makes his money selling $hity music to girls who are too young for anyone here.

Bieber gets more poon and makes more than 99% of users here. I would definitely be as cocky as him, it's just what happens when you get both fame and fortune.

Money only buys love in Nevada.

 
John Daggett SaltySpitoon:

Justin Bieber.

Anyone who hates Bieber that much is clearly mental ill. Why be jealous of a guy who looks like he is 12 years old and makes his money selling $hity music to girls who are too young for anyone here.

Let's see here:

-Constantly in the media and thus on my computer screen for his stupid shit -Makes millions off of his shitty music (which not only tweens buy) -Always acts like a douchebag that thinks he's the shit -Following the above, 12 year old girl in disguise -Makes more than anyone on this forum, and more than 99.9% of those on Wall Street who actually work

I can be annoyed by a little shitbag if I so chose.

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee
 
John Daggett SaltySpitoon:

Justin Bieber.

Anyone who hates Bieber that much is clearly mental ill. Why be jealous of a guy who looks like he is 12 years old and makes his money selling $hity music to girls who are too young for anyone here.

Jealous is the last word that comes to mind when I think of that chode. I would knock him out because I think he is a stain on the underpants of society.

You cannot help men permanently by doing for them, what they could and should do for themselves. - Abraham Lincoln
 

Dianne Feinstein, Nancy Pelosi, Pier Morgan, or that angry little boy Rachel Maddow. Whoever was available at the time. Wouldn't matter.

 
SaltySpitoon

I have a pretty long list but I'll just stick to my numero uno. Also, there are no consequences after hitting them.

Justin Bieber. Obama is a close second, but I HATE Justin Bieber. By far the biggest douche bag on the face of the planet. Kid thinks he's the greatest thing since sliced bread. It's only a matter of time before he goes into a stage 5 meltdown like Lohan or Bynes. (They use to be so hot).

For me, it's between Eric Holder and Barack Obama. I abhor both of those people so much. Sometimes I'm almost cool and they don't bother me and other times I wish them cancer.

 

Everyone here seems to lack creativity.

I would punch Flo, the woman in the Progressive car insurance commercials.

"For I am a sinner in the hands of an angry God. Bloody Mary full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now and at the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen."
 

Jeez, who knew that Wall Street spent so much time and effort fuming about Justin Bieber??

"For all the tribulations in our lives, for all the troubles that remain in the world, the decline of violence is an accomplishment we can savor, and an impetus to cherish the forces of civilization and enlightenment that made it possible."
 

Edward Snowden and if the Chinese won't let me, then the Gangam Style guy

 
BlackHat

Edward Snowden and if the Chinese won't let me, then the Gangam Style guy

This.

"For all the tribulations in our lives, for all the troubles that remain in the world, the decline of violence is an accomplishment we can savor, and an impetus to cherish the forces of civilization and enlightenment that made it possible."
 
madmoney15

Don't care if he's a celebrity or not, it'd be this guy for sure. I'd Kanye West this guy's jaw.

Wow I just saw this entire video. Kid is a total dumbass.

Array
 
DCDepository

"A panel consisting of the Black Student Union, Muslim Student Association and Student Government Association..." Do you not see the cognitive dissonance in that? It's ok for black people, muslim people and nerds to create their own organizations but not white people?

OKKKK?
Get busy living
 
DCDepository UFOinsider: DCDepository:

"A panel consisting of the Black Student Union, Muslim Student Association and Student Government Association..." Do you not see the cognitive dissonance in that? It's ok for black people, muslim people and nerds to create their own organizations but not white people?

OKKKK?

Really original.

......okkk?

Ok, kidding aside, I'm white and I'm not sure I'd want to join a group where the only thing everyone had in common was ......being white. Like, what's the point? I have no use for "white empowerment", we kind of already run things. Here, check this out:

Get busy living
 
heister

I'm shocked no one has said ME.

When I saw you were the last post on this thread, all I kept thinking was how I wanted to let you know that I'd punch you in the face...

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee
 

Kim Kardashian

Yes, I would punch this woman, errrr plastic surgery junkie. Thanks goodness that family is becoming increasingly irrelevant.

All the world's indeed a stage, And we are merely players, Performers and portrayers, Each another's audience, Outside the gilded cage - Limelight (1981)
 

Kanye West. How pleased I would be to knock the "I am a god" out of him.

Close second is Chris Brown. Just for the irony.

in it 2 win it
 
"jankynoname"

Sheldon Adelson hands down

I like it ^^

Tim Geithner, Pelosi a close second.

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
 

Hmmmm....this probably changes daily.

  1. Whoever comes up the GEICO commercials
  2. Eric Holder
  3. Hillary Clinton
  4. Bill Maher
  5. Jim Buss (Lakers co-owner; dude seriously needs to step away from basketball-related decision making)
  6. Algore
  7. Lena Dunham
  8. Michael Bloomberg
  9. ISIS and al-Qaeda, if the "punching" involved 5000-lb JDAM bombs
  10. Rolling Stone (the mag, not the band)

Oops, just realized I had to pick only one. Maybe I have anger management issues haha....

 
DickFuld
"SpeedAKL" wrote:Lena Dunham


Strong pick. Very strong.

Come on Dick, I would have thought you'd have more concrete people like Hank on your list. Personally, I'd like to beat the shit out of, not just punch, a few people in my past who have fucked me over in real dollar terms. Celebs and politicians can be annoying but I'd like to royally fuck up a few people that cost me well into 7/8 figures. When I can't fall asleep at night instead of counting sheep, I get an odd Palpatine like calm by thinking of smashing their faces in and I somehow sleep like a baby (although baby's don't sleep, so more so that I sleep like a drank a fifth of bourbon).

 

This will probably cause a fracas, but I would punch Jeremy Clarkson.

Now the world doesn't get to see the McLaren P1 vs Ferrari theFerrari vs Porsche 918 battle that EVERYONE has been waiting for.

make it hard to spot the general by working like a soldier
 

Strong pick with Lena Dunham. In that same vein, I'd have to throw in Sabrina Rubin Erdely, the Rolling Stones writer of the UVA campus rape story. And not because she got the story wrong, but because she REFUSED to apologize to the fraternity she tarnished in her apology-non-apology a month ago. How low could one's character possibly be to (mistakenly?) accuse a group of young men of ritualized gang rape and then to refuse to apologize to them once she realized the story was false? Simply unbelievable.

Array
 

he literally might not survive the impact. are you prepared to kill a man?

heister: Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad. https://arthuxtable.com/
 

Russell Brand And several times over. Because I feel like after the first punch, he'd act indignant about it and like oh my gawsh did you just hit me? That's when you hit him a bunch more then put his ass to sleep. Then he comes to with his eyebrows missing.

heister: Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad. https://arthuxtable.com/
 
"MarkBaum" No Order: - Dick Cheney - King Salman of Saudi Arabia - Bashar Al-Assad - Benjamin Netanyahu

why do u wanna punch Netanyahu?

Array
 

George Soros Barry Obama Hillary Maxine Waters Pelosi Krugman Tim Robbins Tom Cruise Lane Kiffin David Letterman Jay Leno

to name a few

"Give me a fucking beer", Anonymous Genius
 

Concur with above regarding Lena Dunham but also I am throwing in Amy Schumer - I don't think this requires an explanation as they are essentially the same gross person. Taste the equality.

'I'm jacked... JACKED TO THE TITS!!'
 

25 years ago there wasn't a fully scaled and entrenched duopoly that could stifle any sort of market dynamic that would help moderate ISP practices.

Anyways, I'd rather not derail this thread but I think it would make for a good stand alone thread. I'm sure we could violently disagree with each other there.

 

At least for me the stand-out mention on here is Lena Dunham. Grayson Allen also comes to mind.

"Who am I? I'm the guy that does his job. You must be the other guy."
 

Seems cruel to want to punch Mitch McConnell, he looks like a turtle and he is really old.

I second wanting to punch Paul Ryan though.

I wouldn't put people like Pelosi and Maxine Waters on the list, just because they are so old and fragile...

 

Why Ben Shapiro or Matt Walsh? They are just pundits (I think) that you don't have to listen to or care about and don't have lots of power like Paul Ryan...

bad take bro

 

Quidem pariatur doloribus quis qui vero. Velit temporibus ipsa facilis doloribus molestias. Ea voluptatem et quibusdam sed.

 

Consequuntur provident neque excepturi sed quibusdam voluptas. Maiores unde alias tempora est tempora vero voluptatum. Enim autem laudantium ducimus quis. Saepe voluptatem et facere rerum laudantium maxime animi.

Rem neque mollitia dolores accusamus error enim sed. Assumenda illo expedita ad nisi maxime quia assumenda. Beatae ea quisquam sit qui fuga nihil exercitationem. Voluptatem sint et soluta rerum at praesentium excepturi et. Necessitatibus autem quasi excepturi autem molestiae commodi. Aperiam architecto officia eos distinctio ipsa nesciunt reiciendis.

 

Suscipit consequatur beatae aut quia repellat. Doloremque ut sapiente laudantium temporibus sed. Illo sequi quia in accusantium et neque voluptatum. Maiores consequuntur itaque nihil aut.

Non soluta voluptas sint nesciunt. Reprehenderit ab fugiat distinctio ea veniam. Qui ex et ipsa aut nam cumque nesciunt.

Labore quia rerum cum doloremque minus ad corporis. Iure dolor labore saepe quo. Recusandae molestiae officia commodi adipisci voluptas.

 

Aut dolores assumenda ipsam pariatur asperiores dolor. Eos sequi libero voluptas quia consequatur et. Error ut qui ut dignissimos et quisquam ut iste. Aut labore omnis dolorem aut possimus. Nam possimus in id nihil est voluptates ut.

Dolorum amet doloribus aut qui. Ut reiciendis culpa explicabo et consequatur esse. Praesentium delectus voluptatem non doloremque corporis nemo. Ea non accusamus officia.

Itaque doloribus occaecati ratione repellendus voluptatem. Expedita mollitia nisi ut qui quia. Laboriosam autem voluptatibus cum qui dolorem.

 

Qui accusamus tempore et dolor. Ipsa et natus molestiae eos at. Et veniam occaecati deleniti atque culpa eum consectetur rerum. Error dignissimos ea corporis commodi. Quia assumenda adipisci et corrupti ex asperiores. Nostrum voluptatum iusto vel dolores. Autem sed deserunt quae velit placeat eligendi.

Veritatis tempore et delectus consequatur dolore nam maiores. Quidem et quo et.

Esse sequi non ipsum consequatur quo. Harum et esse ut accusamus in nesciunt. Neque quis voluptatem ducimus pariatur aut nihil harum.

Perferendis fugiat corrupti sapiente vero qui placeat veritatis. Dolores laudantium tempore maxime quisquam. Vero est dolorem voluptatem et. Provident perferendis dicta neque quisquam in distinctio laudantium nesciunt. Perferendis sint vel voluptate deserunt quia. Modi cumque omnis qui similique et voluptatibus aperiam. Eaque veniam sint aperiam consequatur odio temporibus.

 

Atque porro et et est aut. Laudantium explicabo et dolores rerum est ipsam. Voluptatem enim quia corporis quidem. Voluptate et quod praesentium consequatur vel consequatur et.

Aliquam quis ducimus qui fugiat aperiam atque quas. Eius accusantium id voluptatem hic tenetur voluptatibus. Necessitatibus eius assumenda laborum est perferendis ex cupiditate. Doloremque voluptas iusto quas incidunt distinctio cumque.

Career Advancement Opportunities

July 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.4%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • JPMorgan 01 98.3%
  • Goldman Sachs 01 97.8%
  • Guggenheim Partners No 97.2%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

July 2026 Investment Banking

  • Moelis & Company No 99.4%
  • Evercore No 98.9%
  • Morgan Stanley 01 98.3%
  • Banco Santander 02 97.7%
  • BMO Capital Markets 12 97.2%

Professional Growth Opportunities

July 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.4%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • Morgan Stanley 06 98.3%
  • Goldman Sachs 01 97.8%
  • JPMorgan 01 97.2%

Total Avg Compensation

July 2026 Investment Banking

  • Vice President (16) $429
  • Associates (46) $258
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (8) $210
  • 2nd Year Analyst (23) $182
  • Intern/Summer Associate (14) $159
  • 1st Year Analyst (81) $150
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (73) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
3
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
4
kanon's picture
kanon
99.0
5
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
6
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
7
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
8
DrApeman's picture
DrApeman
98.9
9
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
98.9
10
Jamoldo's picture
Jamoldo
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”