Is it bad I am hoping to get COVID so I can take 2 weeks off work? (srs)
Getting absolutely crushed right now. Pitches, live deals etc. Does not stop or let up.
Would absolutely love to get a moderate case of Covid (not enough to kill me obviously), but enough to knock me out of commission for two weeks at work. Sending my staffers/group head a COVID confirmation note would be the ultimate get out jail card right now (nobody wants to grind the junior banker with COVID, would be a PR nightmare if leaked).
I don't really wear a mask that much (only at grocery store etc). Still meeting friends, don't wear one outside, and haven't been social distancing that much (never really did to be honest). Still haven't got it yet.
How can I guarantee I contract COVID?
You're taking the piss right? Break a bone or your skull instead.
Is this some form of British or Indian english term? Never heard this in my life. Please translate to American english (this is WALLSTREEToasis, not CANARYWHARFoasis)
shut the fuck up
I'm actually curious, what does this phrase mean? "To take the piss?".
Is it some British equivalent of "you're kidding right?"
Lol Jesus man you need unplug and destress for yourself a few minutes; even if its for a few minutes, it'll help. Meditate, exercise, doing something you enjoy. I go shoot some hoops in my driveway.
Don't get sick just to take time off. Even if you do, your team is going to think you're irresponsible for not staying away from hotspots and that could hurt your bonus.
If you really wanted COVID, everyone I know who got COVID got it from being in indoor bars. I stay away from those and only socialize at outdoor bars. Don't be stupid man.
WTF? Relax man. You have 3 better options.
1) Jerk off more.
2) Smoke some quality weed.
3) Exercise.
Actually try all 3
Ah the wise timeless advice of "jerk off more and smoke more weed"
....at the same time
Jerking off is technically working out. Builds forearms.
Talking about going down to the hospital to shake hands w/ the COVID patients has been a running joke in my bullpen since March. It's a joke w/ a kernel of truth behind the sentiment, obviously not said w/ sincerity, though.
That said, it really would not be the worst thing in the world to get it if you're young, have no pre-existing conditions, and don't have to spend time around elderly ppl or ppl w/ pre-existing conditions. For most ppl who fit that description, it's like having a bad cold or flu for a bit and getting a 2-week pass on work as though you had cancer. OP is getting a bit too much hate for wanting that to happen IMO.
thanks. there is no way i am not the only person thats been fantasizing about this.
Nope, you're not the only one. Lets just get this shit over with so we can all get back to normal. If you're scared to get it, stay the fuck home.
And I thought the Qanon folks have weird views. This is stranger.
You sound pretty stressed out which can very negatively affect your immune system. You might not be as low risk as you think.
Second, what makes you think that your bosses will let up? That's kind of gamble. I took only one sick day off during banking. Long story, but my VP and MD were convinced that I was faking...no idea why...never took vacation days and stayed later than most. Most of these people are monsters....would be wise not to forget that.
Not worth getting. While definitely the exception rather than the rule, I developed a heart issue from COVID and now can't workout, drink, smoke, etc.
Just break a bone or something if you're that desperate.
Sorry if I am coming off as blunt but will you be able to continue in IB due to this? Sorry to hear this happened to you.
Doctors say I can recover in 3-6 months if I take it easy. I'm hoping for the best, but if I continue to have it going into my start date, I'll see how I do and make decisions from there.
Omg wait. Are you NOT social distancing? Wear a mask yaaaaaaaas!!
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