Marriage Is a business contract and can be considered a Merger. Essentially, when considering marriage, you are considering a merger between two people. Just like in any business merger, it's expected from both parts to fully examine the other business' history, direction and any other influencing factors that may affect both companies before they agree to anything. When speaking of relationships, the same principle should be applied. Researchers have found that the rate of divorce peaked at about 45% and, the probability of a first marriage lasting at least a decade was 68% for women and 70% for men. The probability that they would make it 20 years was 52% for women and 56% for men.
In the generation of millennials, people are starting to opt out of marriage, especially men, because some believe there is more risk than reward from getting married. Alongside this, the long hours in IBD must make things harder for you and your significant other not being able to spend much time with each other. How do you guys cope? Or have you experienced some breakups or divorces because of this?
Quoted cited from: https://www.quora.com/Is-marriage-really-worth-it…
Our understandings of risk are different
Wow, enough of these fucking retarded threads already.
These marriage posts have to stop. It's evident some of you have yet to find someone of meaning. Believe it or not, there are quite a few things more important than your high finance profession.
Hey dude, I'm a high school senior and I'm interested in breaking into high finance. Could we get coffee so I can talk to you about my passion and learn from your experiences?
yes
ymmv
I don't know man, but sometimes a marriage doesn't have the synergies and may not be accretive
Should I get married ? (Originally Posted: 08/07/2011)
GF of 6 months, and her parents, are pressuring me to take the next step in our relationship. I will turn 26 in a few months, and so will she. I feel like she's pushing it because all her friends are getting married, and she feels the clock ticking.
I barely have any savings, and want to go to B-School next fall, or maybe even this January. Plus I feel like I haven't sowed my wild oats yet. On the other hand, she is good looking, smart and has a job, so she's not a bad catch.
What does WSO think ? Should I get married ?
Since when did WSO become a dating website.
for men scared of commitment. They're "married to the job"
fuck fucking no dog
6 months is not nearly enough time
Quite possibly. Don't be afraid to commit to someone. I think its important to know that your future wife is the type of person who has a lot of integrity, and that she always sees things through and commits. You don't want a wishy washy type that will cash out fifteen years down the line for the pool boy. And dont go in to business with her. We all know how Ikos went to shit.
What do you have to lose?
the fact that they are all collectively applying pressure strikes me as suspicious she's only 26... what's the harm in waiting a bit and knowing that you got it right?
1st off... fuck her parents, they have no say. Who the hell does that? 2nd... don't ask this on a message board, nobody knows 3rd... all her friends are getting married? good for them. 4th... this is something only you would know the answer to
Is 26 too young for a guy though ? Will I regret this when I'm 30 ?
26 isn't too young depending on the person... I know people that have been married since they were 18 and they're perfect for each other (they're ~50 now)
Im pretty sure the average age of marriage for Mormons is 24 for the guys and 22 for the girls, and they seem happy and well to do for themselves. It all depends on the individuals though.
If you are undecided to the point you have to ask all of us, then the answer is clearly NO.
^I would like to agree with olafenizer, but I don't know shit about your relationship, so I would say to pay attention to his point. It doesn't necessarily mean that there's no way you should do it, but asking people on a message board doesn't show the type of confidence you should have if you want to get married. Though it does seem like you're trying to see if it is ri-goddamned-diculous more than asking for people to dissect your relationship and tell you.
The way you asked and the things you said should give you your own answer.
Totally agree with this. You should only marry someone if you're like uber excited about it and she is as well. I don't sense that from your post...
I've been going out with my girlfriend for almost 3 years and were not even close to that shit. My friend has been going out with his gf for 3.5 years and they are not even thinking about marriage either. 6 months is a joke
It's not even about how long you are with this broad, it's about what you feel like. C'mon get your mojo back. Reason with the girl, tell her you wanna stay with her and all that but that there is no need to rush just yet. Bring up b-school and that if you marry you will want to focus on the family not school. Nothing wrong with living together or what ever until YOU are sure you wanna do it. Really, don't do this under pressure because that's when you'll regret it. Instead, handle it diplomatically so that no one thinks you don't wanna be with her.
why the
FUCK
are you asking this on a message board?
Oldman, just proof of how much cred this site has!!!! lol
Hell to the fucking no.
Is she foreign or something?
^ hahahaha
Uhm, dude, I hope this isn't the only place you've come for advice. You do realize that the average age here is +/- high school, yes? If you're being pressured, that's a red flag and you'd better tell them to knock that shit off because if they had faith it would happen then they wouldn't be trying to close the deal before you read the fine print.
It sounds like you want to but are smart enough not to rush into a LIFETIME comittment......sleep on it, there's no rush. She may be the one for you, she may not: only you know that, and only you know if it's the right time. Everyone is entitled to their own take, but so are you and you must make this decision of your own volition.....and she and her family absolutely must respect that.
Good luck
I stopped reading there. Married after 6 months?? Hell fucking no man.
Everyone has their own opinion of what they want, but when I see my buddies and other guys who are married in their early to mid-twenties, I just feel sorry for them. You have your whole life ahead of you, too many red flags here.
I don't think getting married after 6 months is a big deal, but its the kind of thing both of you should be really excited to do. You should never let anyone pressure you into getting married. I don't want to give you shitty advice, but did you try talking to her about it? If you and her aren't in the same place, she deserves to know, and both of you deserve to proceed the way you want to. Otherwise it'll just end badly for everyone.
This would only be a good idea if she was pregnant and you lived in Louisiana.
6 months is not long enough. Period.
The fact that you think asking WSO is a good idea makes me seriously question whether you are mature enough to get married. I mean, come the fuck on man, you're 26. Do you really need to ask a finance oriented internet message board for advice on a potential marriage? Grow the fuck up.
The fact that the 3 of them think they know you well enough after 6 months that marriage makes sense means they're likely batshit insane.
Don't do it. For the love of god and all that is holy don't do it. She's not a catch, it's easy to trick someone for 6 months.
You are still in the "honeymoon stage" of a relationship which lasts for idk roughly 6-12 months generally. I think that the true testing point begins somewhere after the second year of a relationship, may be worth waiting at least for a year.
Describing a girl as 'not a bad catch' isn't really what comes to mind when someone asks me to describe what my wife is going to be like.
Do you love her?
marriage has terrible exit opps imo
I can't respond individually to everyone, so I'll respond collectively. Thanks for all the posts.
Someone correctly guessed that she is not a US citizen, and I am, but she has a job and she's from the UK, so not exactly a third world country she fears going back to. I don't think marrying a guy barely making $100K in NYC would be her target even if she was looking for a green card or whatever.
I asked WSO because I need neutral advice, my friends are too close to the situation to give me blunt advice.
Yes, I do love her. I think she would make a great wife/mom. She knows how to cook/bake etc,loves kids, is very nurturing etc. BUT I still look/think about and desire other women.
I haven't really pushed back too much yet. Just told her I would think about it. But my guess is that with her parents now involved, it'll be sort of a slap in their face if I tell them I want to wait for 2 more years.
hahahahaha I love the cook/bake thing... In all seriousness though, I wouldn't let that have any part of whether you want to marry her or not. The nurturing, probably, but cooking isn't so hard.
Fuck what her parents think... 6 months in and they want you two to get married? There's obviously something not right with their heads with this issue, so screw what they think about it.
No go man, you're not ready, you don't have a well developed social life/sense of self, with all due respect: fuck her parents they have no say, and honestly, it doesn't sound like you know her well enough to understand why she is putting so much pressure on you. I'm a fan of happy, lifelong marriages, but this isn't the way to go into one. Give it some time, let eveyone know how it is and revisit the issue down the road.
If they can't respect that, run for your life because something doesn't sound right.
At the risk of belaboring what others have mentioned earlier, the fact you're asking a message board about one of life's most important decisions speaks volumes. Clearly you're not ready to engage in that sort of engagement and it shows. Spend some more time with this girl and then tell me how you feel (an additional 6+ months or so). Quite frankly it's not the lack of time you've spent with her that I'm concerned about, it's more that you seem pretty wishy-washy and fairly noncommittal about marriage six months into the relationship. When you feel as if you want to put a bun in her oven, I believe that will be a good indication as to when you may wish to tie the knot. Either that or you love watching prego pr0n and are sick of youjizz/xnxx clips and want to fulfill the fantasy.
Did you knock her up or something? That's the only reason I can think of why her parents are involved. Even then dude 6 months is nothing, that's like milliseconds in marriage years. If you did knock her up don't play the hero and marry her to "save her honor" or whatever, that's just setting yourself up for a big dish of regret. Give it time.
no
First, read this:
http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/blog/sell-your-options-dearly-marriage
Second, read this:
FUCK NO!!!
OP you sound like some that shouldn't get married yet ...don't think you have the right mental state of mind
im only in 11th grade so take from it what you will
not even close to a yes. NO WAY.
This could be the most subtle trolling EVER on WSO.
Nicely done, OP.
Read Eddie's (Edmundo Braverman) blog article on Marriage.
Since you're on a finance forum, that's the best go-to guy with the experience.
My thoughts: no, you should not get married this early.
No disrespect to either of you two, but I really can't stand it when somebody tries to stop everybody from getting married based off of their bad experience and anecdotes... I get it, but it just seems like something that people should decide for themselves and not something you can generalize an answer for.
Eddie's been divorced twice. I wouldn't necessarily consider him a paragon of marital wisdom
And I agree with UFO, above.
Does any guy, no matter how happily married they are, ever stop "desiring" other women? Doesn't seem like it would be common at all, nor necessary to have a happy marriage. Just gotta know that it's not worth it...
I give him credit for his candor
I think you should go for it
I think you are clearly not ready my friend, but at the same time you don't meet compatible people all the time. You are young that gives you an advantage to still go to B-school people do it all the time, while their spouses are helping a little with the finance situation. My advise would be if you do back off make sure you don't waste your time you should go and finish you school asap. In regards to your situation where you still have a desire for other women that's a red flag may be you don't like her enough, do you not find her as attractive? but if you end up pulling the trigger you will be ok. Its not a bad idea when you want to hear other opinions, but for something so big you have to make up your own mind and not feel pressured by anyone, because you don't want to regret it later on. After all its your entire life.
Good luck...
You have to ask the advice of people who you never met before in order to make one of the biggest and most expensive decisions of your life?
Clearly you aren't ready.
Seeing that you are asking for advice on WSO - no, you are not ready to get married.
You said she is from UK - is she Indian?
If you are not ready to committ, and not ready to let her go, god invented a wonderful thing called engagement. More specifically long engagement. You spend 2-3 months salary (which at this point I assume is pretty f-ing low) on a ring or even repurpose your mom's cheap dull little one carat and present it as "this has been my grandma's ring, and she gave it to my dad to propose to my mom with, it's been in the family for generations, I give it to you because you are the one bla bla bla" (bonus points - if things don't work out she will feel too guilty not to give back) and buy yourself the couple of years you need. Problem solved!
If you've got to ask it on a message board, then you aren't ready. I dated my wife for 5 years and was engaged for another year before we got married. Marriage is not something that you should rush into, particularly if the reason is because you are being pressured. You need to make the call on when you are ready. Tell her family that you will make that decision when the time is right and not before.
From what I've heard, you don't want to be married during b-school.
i'm younger than you and i'm married - age has very little to do with it. agree with the rest though, definitely sounds like terrible timing for you. if it had been 18 months instead of 6, and you were finishing up b school rather than being a year away from starting, i'd say go for it. right now, forget about it.
I hope Im not to late to give you this advice:
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6 MONTHS IS NOT LONG ENOUGH TO GET TO KNOW THE PERSON AND MAKE THAT COMMITMENT!
shouldn't be on her parents, if you're at the point of marriage, either set of parents should not control even 10% of your decision making process. I'm 25 years old - getting married in Oct. . been with the girl for 4.5 years both US citizens, no one's pregnant, both working (hopefully I still am by the time this post clears.)
Why the fuck would you want to get married?
Throw a rock on her finger, go to b-school and then decide whether to go the whole nine-yards or not.
The only way I'm getting hitched after 6 months is if the chick is smoking hot and so far out of my league, that I would be stupid not to lock that down.
Buddy, recession is on the corner...there are far better opportunities to invest than marriage!!
How the fuck are you an HF analyst if you're this immature and dumb to ask a question like this on a public forum? How did you make it through the interviews?
She wants that American citizenship brah
I still call troll on this ridiculous post.
Fuck No, I am at the beginning of a separation from my wife now, trust me it's shit you do not want. And I've dated for many years not a mere 6 months.
Seriously, DO NOT FUCK YOURSELF THIS HARD!!!!!!!!!!!
again, it's really annoying when people who have a rough marriage act like it's impossible not to
really annoying
Fuck No, I am at the beginning of a separation from my wife now, trust me it's shit you do not want. And I've dated her for many years not a mere 6 months.
Seriously, DO NOT FUCK YOURSELF THIS HARD!!!!!!!!!!!
trollolololololololol
6 month is (very) short - Do it if you really feel like it otherwise stay away from it especially if you are doing it for ALL the Wrong reasons aka pressure from familly.
On the other hand I got married early and I am still married to this date and never looked back... Best decision I have ever made!
And from my other friends experience and myself, if you don't FEEL like it do not gamble on this, you will def loose your bet - if "love" or feelings are not there at the beginning then move on and play the field!
double post
^^ my point exactly. Someone bitching because he/she made a series of wrong decisions for wrong reasons isn't helping the rest of us to develop our potential to make the right decisions for right reasons.
I have been married for almost 2 years and I am 23 and an SA between Undergrad and Grad school.
I got married to my wife after 9 months. Everything has been perfect and I couldnt be happier. If the girl has a solid head on her shoulders and you love her just do it. BUT CERTAINLY NOT BECAUSE ANYONE IS TRYING TO MAKE YOU, fuck her parents.
Although I would ask you to be introspective and ask yourself whether they are actually pressuring or whther you are generating your perception of those signals based on the pressure you are putting on yourself (read: is this you imagination).
26 is definitely not too young to be married, it all depends on the girl and how you feel about her.
Similar to you, i still have two years of school and am broke is shit, but really doesnt matter fi you love each other.
Also consider that she wants to marry you even though you are broke- a very good sign.
At face... this looks like the stereotypical situation.
You've listed all the negative signs,
-6 months (which really isn't fair to judge. 6 months of intricate and intimate relations vs 2-3 years where the first 1.5 years were spent not dating exclusively and minimal face time)
-parents (read she) pressuring you
-B-school mate!
-Have you found out what annoys you about her yet? If not it is too soon...
-and the biggie, friends all married. I'm sorry but women always stress how they are individuals and think for themselves, but I've meet few that don't take every splitting decision to their council for their definitive answer. (see women taking dating advice and tips from their consistently SINGLE friends) Aka A woman's friends really make the decisions... not her.SHE may not be ready for marriage.
I haven't even stepped out of undergrad yet and this past spring nearly "got, got" by a girl who was graduating, moving away from NY to DC (where I conveniently lived), her friends were all in DC with significant others, and after a week of meeting me she introduced me to her parents and tried to fast track me into Senior Partner. I realized it was circumstance and declined. But this is your story mate.
Like Manbearpig said.. age isn't necessarily the issue, more timing paired with age.
No one can decide but you mate.
Never, ever make such life-changing decisions under duress or pressure from anyone. You need to be of clear mind and conscience. If you need to be coerced, the answer is definitely no. Many marriages that end in divorce began from the situation you are describing. If you are still considering where to spread your 'oats'- the answer is definitely no- that's a euphemism for other women.
Never, ever ask a group of faceless, unaccountable, online "monkeys" what you should do with your life.
The leading cause of divorce,
is marriage....
The fact that you're asking this on this forum clearly indicates you're not sure - and if you're not sure, then you DEFINITELY shouldn't do it
NO SMURFING WAY!
Continued reinforcement of my belief that the average member age on this site is 18
Looking for an old post here: Men should wait for marriage (Originally Posted: 12/05/2012)
Does anyone remember this? Might have been an Eddie post or response to one.
It was a hilarious analysis of why men should wait for marriage, how women start out getting as much sex as they want, and then need to tie down a man before they become unattractive. Men age like wine, etc. Had graphs
SB for first person to post it, my Google fu must be terrible. Want to re-post somewhere
I pretty much believed this until like 22. I think it's a really common viewpoint for single young men of moderate intelligence who think they're being ruthlessly rational but don't understand how complex everything is.
Accurate lol
Eddie posted it. The graphs were from a blog post that has apparently been taken offline. So sad. Essentially, it said the tables turned at age 29. Funny stuff.
Hope this is what you're looking for -- came with a chart but can't get it to work
"The Chart:
Ages 15 to 19: The chart starts at age 15. Here women are at an access level of 8, which means they can pretty much do whatever they want whenever they want. By the time she’s 19 and has a fake ID, she soars up to a 10 which means the world is her oyster. Your average man in this same category is lucky if he gets a blowjob from the ugly chick in 2nd period, and feels truly fortunate if he can keep a steady girlfriend and get laid on a semi regular basis.
Ages 20 to 25: Women are at their peak during most of this time, and even though their access starts to decline, it declines only because they themselves are being more selective while staging for marriage. Men during this time are steadily learning how to deal with women and are increasing their earning potential, so things are getting slowly better. Still, they haven’t reached the level ofaccess that their female counterparts have enjoyed since age 15.
Age 26 to 28: This is the start of the marriage zone. Women’s clocks are ticking, and men have finally turned a job into a career. Though women’s access is still at a very high 8, she notices the men around her have more choices. They’ve reached an access level of 7 and are steadily rising. Though she gets roughly the same amount of attention from men that she used to, she notices the men are far less likely to catch oneitis in her presence. Men are getting smarter and they have more options because of their increased access. She has to get him to commit as soon as possible before he realizes just how numerous his options really are.
Age 29 to 30: This is a superb time for men to be alive. The tables have now turned. She’s finally learned that while finding dick takes very little effort, finding committed dick isn’t as easy as she was told it would be. Even though she screwed up in the marriage zone and wasn’t able to secure a partner, she’s going to stay on the prowl and be “in it to win it”.
Age 31 and up: As her sexual and marriage market value slowly decreases, so does her access to committed dick. Meanwhile, the men who were smart enough to avoid her in the marriage zone have a long and happy life ahead of them. Even at age 40 – if they are successful and have stayed in shape – these men can find a 28 year old woman to bear their children if they want. The men have nothing to lose. The women continue to slowly decline until they settle for a beta or convince themselves that being a career woman in Cougarville was really what they wanted all along.
After men avoid the marriage zone, their access soars. They can enjoy a series of fulfilling monogamous relationships with women who are on their best behavior since they’re desperately trying to get married, and fill in the time in between these relationships by banging easy targets such as single mothers, divorcees, and rabid feminists who are second-guessing their decisions.
So gentlemen, stay in shape. Focus on your career, build a stable financial portfolio, and keep your access soaring. If you absolutely must have a child, do it in your late 30’s or early 40’s with a hot little number in her 20’s. It can happen. If you’re like me and children aren’t in your future, the possibilities are endless.
Avoid the marriage zone!" "
This post made me depressed... Why do men assume that all women want to get married at all? Nowadays, there is really no need for marriage since a woman can simply support herself on her own. I mean I am sure there are benefits to having a relationship and marriage like emotional support, help with household chores, etc., but it also takes a lot of time and emotional involvement. Also, psychologically men and women equally want to have relationships and start a family, since they want the benefits. However, being in a relationship for some women is a much bigger responsibility if she wants to start a family (since female fertility period is limited), so obviously this kind of a woman wants marriage because she wants stability for her future kids. So it is really not about the access issue, it is just the biological clock and also family and society pressure (in some cultures). Access is equal for both genders, as anyone can do anything in theory, given their biological and socio-economic limits. Also, there is nothing wrong in being a "career woman in Cougarville" and no woman needs to convince herself of this. Some women just don't want to have children or a big family for that matter!! Personally, I met women who are terrified of being pregnant and carrying a baby for 9 months. As for dating alphas and betas, it is simply natural. If two people in a relationship are alpha, it won't work since competition will always be present and, therefore, resentment for each other. And resentment is not good for any healthy relationship. So an alpha woman would "settle" for a beta, which in this case is a rational decision, as the beta would not compete, but support the alpha woman (exactly what she needs). Therefore, beta women (or less-earning potential, less-driven, less-ambitious, more family-motivated) have the perfect opportunities to be with alpha males. The only issue with this is that beautiful women usually fall into the beta category as beauty allows them to be desirable to alpha males with high-earning potential, therefore they do not need to be ambitious to get by in this world, because they could simply get married to a high-earning alpha. It is kind of sad, but true. Thus, all of my upper level math classes are filled with males and I have 0 girlfriends from my program. Not many good-looking females want to spend 3 days studying for an honors analysis final, when they could socialize and meet alphas instead...
The level of marriage hate on this site just tells me the vast majority of people can count their lays on one hand.
surely the correlation would be negative for the luckier chaps as well no?
Thanks guys
neilol
No Marriage Pitchbook - Project 2 Chainz
If you get a wife in her 30's she doesn't love you.
She is just settling for you, because she cannot attract the alpha males anymore. You are being used as a cash cow to provide emotional/financial stability to her and her offspring. She will use sex as a bargaining tool to keep you in the relationship until the child is born, then eventually divorce you. Your wife will also cheat on you behind your back with some man she perceives as alpha at around age 37, and will be disgusted with you subconsciously which will show in her frequent frustration towards you.
When women say they've matured, and come to appreciate the nice guy as they got older. What they really mean is my biological clock is ticking, and I've been pumped and dumped by so many guys, AND I need to secure a man for LTR (Long term relationship) before my SMV (Sexual market value) has completely plummeted.
Advice to young men in this day and age. Don't get married to a woman that didn't notice you in their youth and when their coming close to 30 want to start acting nice around you. Don't be that beta provider.
Absolutely. Just choose right.
why wouldn't it be worth it? i recently lost a girl as a culmination of my work being too much and my mind never being 100% hers. But she talked about her work all the time.... wish she'd been a doctor of a lawyer. That said I will love again and will get married if I meet someone. . I think that'd be a better question would be, "To prenup or not to prenup?"
Ahh I see, thanks for sharing your insights. Damn if she was a doctor you wouldn't even need to watch TV shows, listening to her talk about work would be like living through an episode of house.
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