Mom Lives with Me?

My Father passed away, and long story short my Mom is the only family I have left. Currently fortunate to be working on the buyside at a great firm but in a city far away from where I grew up (and my Mom currently lives). I'm in a position where I can support her living with me and she doesn't have to worry about working (was a stay at home Mom before my Dad passed). We have both agreed that it makes sense for me to get a bigger place (which I can easily afford) and have her to come stay with me. My Mom and I are extremely close, and I have always wanted to be able to do this, however, this is happening much sooner than I expected as I am in my mid-20s (Dad passed unexpectedly). I'm currently single and looking for a long term relationship. My question is: how will women view this? I know a large portion of women might be put off by this arrangement which I understand, but my Mom is too important for me not to do this. I've thought about getting her a place to herself close to me, but I think her quality of life and mental health will be better living with me. I just want the best for her because both my parents sacrificed so much for me to be where I am today.

WSO Elite Modeling Package

  • 6 courses to mastery: Excel, Financial Statement, LBO, M&A, Valuation and DCF
  • Elite instructors from top BB investment banks and private equity megafunds
  • Includes Company DB + Video Library Access (1 year)

Comments (63)

Most Helpful
Feb 15, 2022 - 1:45pm
Isaiah_53_5 πŸ’ŽπŸ™ŒπŸ’ŽπŸ™ŒπŸ’Ž, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Girls are attracted to providers. So the fact that your Mom is living with you is far superior in the eyes of women than the alternative of you having no job and mooching off your Mom. It is very noble to put family first and it seems like this is the right decision for you to look out for your family. Cheers.Β 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

  • 66
  • 1
Feb 15, 2022 - 2:08pm
CarsnWatches, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I think this would be the case too. As long as your mom does her own thing and isn't nosy and you have your own spaces I don't think women will have an issue with it if they know the full situation.Β 

Feb 15, 2022 - 2:30pm
UCSDThrowaway, what's your opinion? Comment below:
Isaiah_53_5 πŸ’ŽπŸ™ŒπŸ’ŽπŸ™ŒπŸ’Ž

Girls are attracted to providers. So the fact that your Mom is living with you is far superior in the eyes of women than the alternative of you having no job and mooching off your Mom. It is very noble to put family first and it seems like this is the right decision for you to look out for your family. Cheers.Β 

Horrible advice from a dating perspective imo. Girls will absolutely dry up knowing your MOTHER is 1 bedroom down the hallway.

Yeah, it's better than living with mom and being a mooch.. but you wanna know what is optimal choice? Having your own place without your mom, and still making money.

Good luck to OP. I'd personally try to find a way to get mom her own place nearby, even if it costs more. Tough situation

Feb 15, 2022 - 2:45pm
Isaiah_53_5 πŸ’ŽπŸ™ŒπŸ’ŽπŸ™ŒπŸ’Ž, what's your opinion? Comment below:
UCSDThrowaway

Isaiah_53_5 πŸ’ŽπŸ™ŒπŸ’ŽπŸ™ŒπŸ’Ž

Girls are attracted to providers. So the fact that your Mom is living with you is far superior in the eyes of women than the alternative of you having no job and mooching off your Mom. It is very noble to put family first and it seems like this is the right decision for you to look out for your family. Cheers.Β 

- expand -

Horrible advice from a dating perspective imo. Girls will absolutely dry up knowing your MOTHER is 1 bedroom down the hallway.

Yeah, it's better than living with mom and being a mooch.. but you wanna know what is optimal choice? Having your own place without your mom, and still making money.

Good luck to OP. I'd personally try to find a way to get mom her own place nearby, even if it costs more. Tough situation

Yeah it's a tough situation either way, but I didn't exactly envision putting Mom 'down the hallway'. Preferably it would be different floors in a house.

Or another situation could be finding a place with a guest house, or if in an apartment building, could rent 2 places near each other.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

  • 1
Controversial
Feb 15, 2022 - 2:08pm
BigKahunaBanker, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I watched a few hentais with this plot lmao

...and the Truth shall set you free
  • 10
  • 28
Learn More

300+ video lessons across 6 modeling courses taught by elite practitioners at the top investment banks and private equity funds -- Excel Modeling -- Financial Statement Modeling -- M&A Modeling -- LBO Modeling -- DCF and Valuation Modeling -- ALL INCLUDED + 2 Huge Bonuses.

Learn more
Funniest
Feb 15, 2022 - 2:51pm
k1k10, what's your opinion? Comment below:

do you know how fucked up you have to be to make pizz disapprove of your sexual behavior? Wow man...

Feb 15, 2022 - 5:45pm
Teller in Branch - Personal Loans, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Sorry for your loss bro. Was in the exact same boat in my IB years. First few years of coping with the reality was admittedly tough. Fast forward 10 years, now married to a hot wife, had a couple kids, and mom living with step dad a few blocks down. Life always finds its own way. Remember, you don't need 1000 rocks. That one shiny gem you meet will stay with you through the hardest of times. My prayers are with you.

VP
  • 9
Feb 17, 2022 - 8:34pm
Isaiah_53_5 πŸ’ŽπŸ™ŒπŸ’ŽπŸ™ŒπŸ’Ž, what's your opinion? Comment below:

What do you mean - what does 'based' mean? People say it on this site all the time, but I don't hear it outside of WSO.Β 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

Feb 15, 2022 - 7:39pm
Arroz con Pollo, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Who is more important to you? Mom or thots? Any girl worth marrying (which is the purpose of a long term relationship) will understand your situation. Sure, it's not ideal, but few things are. Good luck brother

Feb 15, 2022 - 7:42pm
Bankerconsu, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Get a large enough place where your mom isn't right down the hall and has her own separate space. Like others said, this will put off thots / hook-ups but actually could be a big plus for a "long term" kind of gf

Feb 15, 2022 - 8:37pm
IcedxTaro, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Care for your mom, but do so in a manner it doesn't interfere with your personal life. Be there as needed, and since you are caring for her (shelter), it should be fine. Women who don't understand the situation nor approves of it, means they have other priorities and values that do not align with yours.

Feb 16, 2022 - 4:02am
MikeHuntESQCFAMBAMD, what's your opinion? Comment below:

FWIW you seem like a great guy. Spend time and help take care of your mom while you are both able to. I may be biased, but I know you'll look back favoringly on the sacrifices you made and support you provided. I'd do a lot of things to talk or help take care of my mom again. Cherish it while you can

Feb 16, 2022 - 8:37am
BeautifullyConfused, what's your opinion? Comment below:

One woman literally and metaphorically gave you your life. I'd like to think that's worth something. You can always go to her place if things get serious and you need private time

Feb 16, 2022 - 8:42am
Arroz con Pollo, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I agree with this but it's important to note that one should not allow parents to limit them from living their lives. Sounds like this guy needs to decide what is most important to him and his "life". Not an easy choice

Feb 16, 2022 - 9:51am
BeautifullyConfused, what's your opinion? Comment below:

SB'd and fully agreed. Things like this can rarely be resolved in a online forum

Feb 16, 2022 - 9:15am
Angus Macgyver, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Tell me you're Asian without telling me you're Asian

You're a good egg, if your relationship with your mom is that strong and your father is gone, then any girl you would want to marry is going to be one who's understanding of the situation anyway, so if anything see your mom living with you as an easy resume screener for potential future wives

Feb 16, 2022 - 10:46am
LeoSteel77, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Dude, don't buy a bigger place.Β 

Buy 2 condos in the same building. You both get privacy, and you're only 1 elevator ride away.Β 

Feb 16, 2022 - 10:56am
NPV123, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Hats off to you sir.Β 
Β 

Like others have said, you are a good man to take care of your mom.Β 
Β 

Some houses have small apartments above the garage. Perhaps you could look into this?Β 

Feb 16, 2022 - 11:22am
Yankee Doodle, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Multigenerational households are based and one of the most destructive things ever done to america's social fabric was getting rid of them

"Work ethic, work ethic" - Vince Vaughn

  • 4
Feb 16, 2022 - 11:40am
neink, what's your opinion? Comment below:

this is correct

Never discuss with idiots, first they drag you at their level, then they beat you with experience.

Feb 16, 2022 - 1:57pm
apollotime, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I remember seeing a statistic where multigenerational households are more common in the upper strata of society, at least here in Canada.Β 

Feb 16, 2022 - 12:14pm
TechBanking, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Depending on where you live, just buy a place with a mother-in-law suit that has a separate entrance or a place with an old carriage house (common where I live in Denver) that you can renovate into a cool apartment. That way you can cover mom and also have some distance for dating life.Β 

Feb 17, 2022 - 1:45pm
Isaiah_53_5 πŸ’ŽπŸ™ŒπŸ’ŽπŸ™ŒπŸ’Ž, what's your opinion? Comment below:

What does based mean - can you explain?

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

Feb 16, 2022 - 3:44pm
MillΓ‘nAstray, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I would literally stop dating girls and masturbate for the rest of my life just to give my mom everything she deserves.

Just explain the story to a girl when you meet her. If she has a problem, dump her. E A S Y

Feb 17, 2022 - 10:51am
Big Banker Brand, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Good on you seriously but that's gonna suuuuuck. She's gonna be all up in your shit and make it "her place" even if you're the one paying/providing. That's just gonna be her maternal instincts kicking in so be ready for that. I'm close with my mom too and she doesn't give a single fuck about my personal space no matter what I say so if yours is anything like that, say goodbye to any sort of fun you plan on having at home. Gotta do what you gotta do though. Life takes unexpected turns sometimes and you have to adapt on the spot and roll with the punches good luck

Array

  • 1
Feb 17, 2022 - 11:27am
Top Bucket, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Spoke with your girlfriend and let her know what she's getting herself into. Had some argument with my wife about doing something similar early on, but everything ended well. Just be upfront and have clear communication with your partner beforehand. Luckily, we have a career with buying a house isn't that hard financially.

Feb 17, 2022 - 7:34pm
InvestmentSpanker, what's your opinion? Comment below:
RichChigga

Spoke with your girlfriend and let her know what she's getting herself into. Had some argument with my wife about doing something similar early on, but everything ended well.Β 

The way this is worded it sounds like you are banging OP's girlfriend while married to another woman lmao

Feb 19, 2022 - 4:59pm
Isaiah_53_5 πŸ’ŽπŸ™ŒπŸ’ŽπŸ™ŒπŸ’Ž, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Yeah I think he means 'speak' - I had to read that like 3 times lol

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

Feb 17, 2022 - 4:55pm
Wang qi, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Women only admire those guys who can make their own decisions, and you are not living for girls, if you do have a stable relationship already, maybe you need to care about the feeling of her, but you are single now, so from my perspective who grow up in a single parent family, I'll definitely invite my mom to live with me if she willing to do it too, without listening to any girl's voice.

Feb 17, 2022 - 5:05pm
argtexas, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Mid-late 20's over here and I know I'll be in a similar situation in a few years. Not sure what city you're in but assuming it's not NYC/SF/LA/CHI, you could look for a place that has an in-laws cottage / ADU in the backyard, and spin it to your Mom as "I want you to have a place to call your own, but also want you to live with me". That way you each have your own space while living in the same property... good luck dude

Feb 17, 2022 - 10:16pm
Pizz, what's your opinion? Comment below:

do u have a gf right now? does she care?Β 

Feb 17, 2022 - 11:33pm
v74UR9xyit885, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Quite simple: any woman who is bothered by this is not for you. Nothing more, nothing less. Look at it as an added level of filtration in your dating pool.Β 

Also, what's the alternative? If women (who are not a homogenous group, by the way) did have an issue with it, would you leave your Mom on the street? I'd hope not. Do the right thing by your mom and family and the right woman will appreciate it.

Feb 18, 2022 - 11:20am
ZetaMale, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Sorry to hear about your Father. As someone that also lost his dad, it's very tough.

IMO, showing you care for your family and want to help them is a positive character attribute, not a negative. Any woman--or person for that matter--that would hold it against you, likely isn't someone you want to spend your time with (no matter how short the duration).Β 

It's been said, but I think this shows you put family first and are, inherently, a 'provider'. Something that I think anyone would view as positive.Β 

Feb 18, 2022 - 11:34pm
jimfromthasouth, what's your opinion? Comment below:

The others are right this is a kind hearted thing to do. However, consider renting two smaller apartments or houses, if you can afford it, that are really close to each other preferably walking distance. This way your mom can visit you without much hassle and you can do the same. If it's walking distance you can even stop by after work if it's not too late and have breakfast/lunch with her on the weekends etc. I could be wrong, but while a good woman will still date you if you live with your mom, she may not want to move in with the two of you.Β 

Let's just say you do move in with your mom. For one night stands, if you got the game to pull it off, get an airbnb or a hotel and tell the woman you're in town on a visit. Good luck dude.Β 

Feb 19, 2022 - 3:03pm
Sequoia, what's your opinion? Comment below:

No girl who sees this negatively is worth your time. Come from a non-US background myself and multi-generational living & tight-knight families are the norm elsewhere -- and a major reason why I think those societies will be much happier in the long run. Family means something outside of the West -- they gave you life, they taught you right & wrong, they sacrificed to give you a good education, they were there for you during good and bad times. Any person that sees this negatively either a) didn't have a good upbringing themselves or b) are going to bring themselves deep unhappiness in the future because they can't understand what's important in life

I would give anything for my mom and dad. It's something I never appreciated growing up and only in my mid-20s do I understand....I'm sure once I have kids of my own I'll peel back layers to this that are incomprehensible now. You are a wonderful human being for loving your mom & taking care of her when she's going through tough times, the world needs more people like you (or at least the West)

Feb 19, 2022 - 4:15pm
Greg Marmalard, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I'll say that it's certainly admirable to provide for your mom and that many women who would be bothered by it aren't worth your time. Now that said, as a married man whose mom had a hard time letting go despite me not living with my folks for years before I got married, you will likely set everyone up for a really difficult situation down the road.

Lets say you find a women who you want to eventually marry or at a minimum be in a long term relationship with, is your mom going to live with y'all? Is your wife going to totally cool with that? Will you choose your wife over your mom? Will your mom be okay with that?

idk what you believe but there's a Bible verse that says a man should leave his parents and join his wife to become one flesh meaning if you get married then your wife is the important relationship in your life. You're also supposed to honor your parents but your wife comes first. Can you seriously develop that relationship with your mom being in your house? Maybe you can but I'd say more often than not, you can't and won't and that can put cracks into your relationship that can become chasms that in time swallow it up.

Ive been fortunate to be able to work through some of the initial challenges with having to fully choose my wife over my mom but it was painful and my wife had to give me grace through our first few years as our relationship strengthened. Not saying you will have the same issues, but just offering a different perspective from someone further down the path.

Mar 2, 2022 - 1:31pm
IncomingIBDreject, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Magni asperiores aliquid et perferendis iusto asperiores est. Velit placeat harum quia expedita qui iusto corporis. Non quia magnam aut sunt hic modi. Dolorem accusamus rerum odit eum ut cum.

Aut consequatur vel iste. Quia voluptatum est nobis amet.

Array

Mar 4, 2022 - 2:28pm
InfoDominatrix, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Quia necessitatibus quod ea nihil itaque. Aspernatur nihil delectus explicabo veritatis rerum et est ut. Non dolor aut reprehenderit. Repellendus ea doloremque rem veritatis in qui. Magni sunt omnis aliquam qui ipsa. Quibusdam provident iste at quo nostrum.

Mar 19, 2022 - 12:34pm
PommesQT, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Quam illo est ullam sed doloribus. Nostrum ut qui et reprehenderit vitae corrupti ducimus. Debitis culpa ut voluptas voluptas quia qui.

Et doloribus cum molestiae illum qui. Repellat amet quo ad enim cumque aliquid. Repellendus recusandae nemo est dolor qui.

Labore reiciendis corporis qui nam harum voluptatem. Odio quia magni perferendis numquam ut ratione. Delectus sit magni occaecati aliquid eum odit.

Start Discussion

Career Advancement Opportunities

July 2022 Investment Banking

  • Jefferies & Company (β–²03) 99.6%
  • Lincoln International (= =) 99.2%
  • RBC Capital Markets (β–²07) 98.8%
  • Bank of America Merrill Lynch (β–²01) 98.4%
  • Houlihan Lokey (β–²06) 98.0%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

July 2022 Investment Banking

  • Lincoln International (β–²06) 99.6%
  • Jefferies & Company (β–²11) 99.2%
  • Greenhill (β–²07) 98.8%
  • Rothschild (β–²01) 98.4%
  • Evercore (β–½01) 98.0%

Professional Growth Opportunities

July 2022 Investment Banking

  • Jefferies & Company (β–²04) 99.6%
  • Lincoln International (β–²04) 99.2%
  • RBC Capital Markets (β–²09) 98.8%
  • Houlihan Lokey (β–²07) 98.4%
  • Bank of America Merrill Lynch (β–²04) 98.0%

Total Avg Compensation

July 2022 Investment Banking

  • Director/MD (9) $661
  • Vice President (37) $394
  • Associates (193) $256
  • 2nd Year Analyst (117) $162
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (17) $156
  • 1st Year Analyst (369) $150
  • Intern/Summer Associate (79) $147
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (294) $92