Mom Lives with Me?

Sorry for your loss bro. Was in the exact same boat in my IB years. First few years of coping with the reality was admittedly tough. Fast forward 10 years, now married to a hot wife, had a couple kids, and mom living with step dad a few blocks down. Life always finds its own way. Remember, you don’t need 1000 rocks. That one shiny gem you meet will stay with you through the hardest of times. My prayers are with you.

man who gives a fuck what girls think about it. Your main role right now is to give your mom security and a place to stay, if a girl doesn't like that then she can fuck off.

Get a large enough place where your mom isn't right down the hall and has her own separate space. Like others said, this will put off thots / hook-ups but actually could be a big plus for a "long term" kind of gf

If someone is upset that you are taking care of your widowed mother...you probably don't want to be near them.

Care for your mom, but do so in a manner it doesn’t interfere with your personal life. Be there as needed, and since you are caring for her (shelter), it should be fine. Women who don’t understand the situation nor approves of it, means they have other priorities and values that do not align with yours.

Mate who tf cares what women will think about this. If your Mum is important for you and you want her to stay with you just do it if you dont her to have her own place. This just means you will only have women in your life who is okay with this arrangement which sounds like a win win for you.

FWIW you seem like a great guy. Spend time and help take care of your mom while you are both able to. I may be biased, but I know you’ll look back favoringly on the sacrifices you made and support you provided. I’d do a lot of things to talk or help take care of my mom again. Cherish it while you can

It's a difficult situation, of course...

One woman literally and metaphorically gave you your life. I'd like to think that's worth something. You can always go to her place if things get serious and you need private time

Do you really want to get serious with a woman who has an issue with you taking care of your mom?

Tell me you're Asian without telling me you're Asian

You're a good egg, if your relationship with your mom is that strong and your father is gone, then any girl you would want to marry is going to be one who's understanding of the situation anyway, so if anything see your mom living with you as an easy resume screener for potential future wives

Dude, don't buy a bigger place. 

Buy 2 condos in the same building. You both get privacy, and you're only 1 elevator ride away. 

Hats off to you sir. 
 

Like others have said, you are a good man to take care of your mom. 
 

Some houses have small apartments above the garage. Perhaps you could look into this? 

Multigenerational households are based and one of the most destructive things ever done to america's social fabric was getting rid of them

Dude I love you for this! Both my parents are alive and want them to come live with me.. You’ll find a partner when you do. I believe we owe it to our parents! You’ll go a long way in life man

Depending on where you live, just buy a place with a mother-in-law suit that has a separate entrance or a place with an old carriage house (common where I live in Denver) that you can renovate into a cool apartment. That way you can cover mom and also have some distance for dating life. 

Based son

I would literally stop dating girls and masturbate for the rest of my life just to give my mom everything she deserves.

Just explain the story to a girl when you meet her. If she has a problem, dump her. E A S Y

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Good on you seriously but that's gonna suuuuuck. She's gonna be all up in your shit and make it "her place" even if you're the one paying/providing. That's just gonna be her maternal instincts kicking in so be ready for that. I'm close with my mom too and she doesn't give a single fuck about my personal space no matter what I say so if yours is anything like that, say goodbye to any sort of fun you plan on having at home. Gotta do what you gotta do though. Life takes unexpected turns sometimes and you have to adapt on the spot and roll with the punches good luck

Spoke with your girlfriend and let her know what she's getting herself into. Had some argument with my wife about doing something similar early on, but everything ended well. Just be upfront and have clear communication with your partner beforehand. Luckily, we have a career with buying a house isn't that hard financially.

This is tough. Ultimately you're going to have to go to your girls place for late night entertainment.

Women only admire those guys who can make their own decisions, and you are not living for girls, if you do have a stable relationship already, maybe you need to care about the feeling of her, but you are single now, so from my perspective who grow up in a single parent family, I’ll definitely invite my mom to live with me if she willing to do it too, without listening to any girl’s voice.

Mid-late 20's over here and I know I'll be in a similar situation in a few years. Not sure what city you're in but assuming it's not NYC/SF/LA/CHI, you could look for a place that has an in-laws cottage / ADU in the backyard, and spin it to your Mom as "I want you to have a place to call your own, but also want you to live with me". That way you each have your own space while living in the same property... good luck dude

Quite simple: any woman who is bothered by this is not for you. Nothing more, nothing less. Look at it as an added level of filtration in your dating pool. 

Also, what's the alternative? If women (who are not a homogenous group, by the way) did have an issue with it, would you leave your Mom on the street? I'd hope not. Do the right thing by your mom and family and the right woman will appreciate it.

Sorry to hear about your Father. As someone that also lost his dad, it's very tough.

IMO, showing you care for your family and want to help them is a positive character attribute, not a negative. Any woman--or person for that matter--that would hold it against you, likely isn't someone you want to spend your time with (no matter how short the duration). 

It's been said, but I think this shows you put family first and are, inherently, a 'provider'. Something that I think anyone would view as positive. 

The others are right this is a kind hearted thing to do. However, consider renting two smaller apartments or houses, if you can afford it, that are really close to each other preferably walking distance. This way your mom can visit you without much hassle and you can do the same. If it's walking distance you can even stop by after work if it's not too late and have breakfast/lunch with her on the weekends etc. I could be wrong, but while a good woman will still date you if you live with your mom, she may not want to move in with the two of you. 

Let's just say you do move in with your mom. For one night stands, if you got the game to pull it off, get an airbnb or a hotel and tell the woman you're in town on a visit. Good luck dude. 

No girl who sees this negatively is worth your time. Come from a non-US background myself and multi-generational living & tight-knight families are the norm elsewhere -- and a major reason why I think those societies will be much happier in the long run. Family means something outside of the West -- they gave you life, they taught you right & wrong, they sacrificed to give you a good education, they were there for you during good and bad times. Any person that sees this negatively either a) didn't have a good upbringing themselves or b) are going to bring themselves deep unhappiness in the future because they can't understand what's important in life

I would give anything for my mom and dad. It's something I never appreciated growing up and only in my mid-20s do I understand....I'm sure once I have kids of my own I'll peel back layers to this that are incomprehensible now. You are a wonderful human being for loving your mom & taking care of her when she's going through tough times, the world needs more people like you (or at least the West)

I’ll say that it’s certainly admirable to provide for your mom and that many women who would be bothered by it aren’t worth your time. Now that said, as a married man whose mom had a hard time letting go despite me not living with my folks for years before I got married, you will likely set everyone up for a really difficult situation down the road.

Lets say you find a women who you want to eventually marry or at a minimum be in a long term relationship with, is your mom going to live with y’all? Is your wife going to totally cool with that? Will you choose your wife over your mom? Will your mom be okay with that?

idk what you believe but there’s a Bible verse that says a man should leave his parents and join his wife to become one flesh meaning if you get married then your wife is the important relationship in your life. You’re also supposed to honor your parents but your wife comes first. Can you seriously develop that relationship with your mom being in your house? Maybe you can but I’d say more often than not, you can’t and won’t and that can put cracks into your relationship that can become chasms that in time swallow it up.

Ive been fortunate to be able to work through some of the initial challenges with having to fully choose my wife over my mom but it was painful and my wife had to give me grace through our first few years as our relationship strengthened. Not saying you will have the same issues, but just offering a different perspective from someone further down the path.

Put your mom first man.

A real woman will understand your situation and that’s just facts.

Most women won't be happy with the arrangement unless they're east Asian. The point of a relationship is to have a private one, and having a parent in the same house throws that out the window. It's fine if your mom is in the same city, but same building or same flat is too close and believe me your mom will never leave and keep trying to control you. It's important to offer support, but also maintain your distance. 

My condolences on the loss of your father. I can sadly relate two times over.

This perspective is coming from an older female. 

Do right by your mother, whatever that means and whatever than involves for you.  Regret is a bitch and you will never be able to "make up" for time once your mom is no longer here, regardless of however many more years she is on this earth.

We just lost my step-dad last month, he was nearly 90.  Mom is 85 and lives 2 miles/10 mins from me, working from home is a blessing in that regard, versus when I am physically in the office and 15 miles away and much further away in the sense of the amount of time it takes me to get to her from Manhattan.

If we are lucky, we get two parents.  I lost my father when he was 57 and I was 19 and still miss him and regret the opportunity of having him in my life longer.  I feel my mom was very blessed to have my dad for 30 years and then my step-dad for nearly as long.  It's been hard to watch her navigate her life, having lost her only son last year as well as two contemporary companions now.  Even with as much time as I spend with her and even as much as I do for her, it's never enough.  While we have an epic relationship and are friends too, I am not her contemporary, nor her day-to-day companion.  She's still quite independent and mobile for the most part and has a small circle of friends.

Having Mom live with you or near you is actually probably an excellent litmus test when you get serious with someone.  If they take issue with your relationship and closeness, geographic and otherwise, be warned that people rarely come around and change.

My man dotes on my mother as if she were his own, he lost his mom in the 1990's and his dad in the 2000's.  This is not a relationship I could have forced on either of them if they didn't get along and if they didn't like each other.  I can not put into words how thankful and appreciative I am of the the humor he adds to her day, how much he makes her happy with his gestures of bringing her flowers just because, bringing her her favorite foods, taking her to do errands, doing little chores and projects for her.  He jokes that he's the lucky exception to the "evil mother-in-law" memes that exist.

All the best to you, whatever choices you make!