Not getting more matches despite working at a top PE firm
Hello all,
I changed my job status to "Private Equity Associate" at The Carlyle Group on Tinder, Hinge and Bumble three months ago but for some reason I am not getting more matches compared to when I was in banking or at uni.
On average, I got between 5 and 7 matches every week (across the three platforms), and most of the matches do not reply to my messages or they just ghost me after a few lines.
How do London and other cities women dare to ghost a mega fund associate and former EB banker?
Honestly, I am getting tired of seeing men with much less prestigious jobs and much lower salaries getting hotter women than I. Did anyone experienced the same?
Have you tried also mentioning in your bio that you are a "Private Equity Investor at Carlyle"? Sometimes (often) women are a bit retarded so you need to teach them who's calling the shots in the exclusive world of high finance.
"How do London women dare to ghost a mega fund associate" LMAO
In what universe does working in pe make someone more attractive? Do you realize that less than 1% of the population has ever heard about PE or Carlyle?
Not to mention that assuming women only go after money is a missive misogynistic take.
If you want to get more women take care of yourself, go to the gym, develop interesting hobbies, become confident approaching women, and stop seeing them as a prize... It's not rocket science.
Lmfao
You’re the kind of person we dread hiring as an intern
Have you tried running through technical questions with them so they can see how prepared you are? That would be key to signaling your high value mating status.
Also 5-7 matches a week? Are you ugly or just failing to wear any of your team swag in any of your photos?
Lol. I'm going to assume this is a serious post and not trolling.
I have been doing dating apps for years. Here's my thoughts on this.
1. On apps, prestige doesn't matter. AT ALL. It's 90% looks/height/style and 10% just general vibe that the girl gets.
2. Apps are very bad for guys now because vast majority of users are guys, and women have so many options.
3. Women have gotten cynical about apps over the years. Hence, they will often ghost and not take the process seriously. Just the way it is.
4. Vast majority of women have no idea what carlyle/blackstone/kkr/apollo is. Real life is not WSO.
Definite troll OP comment but the disconnect a lot of people have with their 'prestigious' job and what actually is 'prestigious' to the layman or in dating circles is always funny to watch. Top tier law, consulting, PE firms, etc. are all still very niche. That status matters to your ivy league business school reunions, but if you are trying to win a girl over with a job involving slide decks and spread sheets then no it aint happening, you got to bring something else (height, looks, interesting lifestyle, some mix of that). Basically, pursue those careers because you want to not because you think women will grovel for your attention.
Exactly. The irony is that my most successful friends who work at funds that WSO has orgasms over, are either single or dating average looking women.
Being rich & successful is obviously awesome, and you should work hard to achieve that. But doing it for the primary purpose of getting hot women will screw you up badly.
Jobs that really do make you more attractive to women are obviously pro athletes, movie stars ,musicians, models, artists, club promoters, DJ, personal trainer, and other cool fun jobs. Definitely not buyside finance. Lol.
I made a tinder account with a obese women (not just fat but like really fat) once and got more matches with that than a male model
wow really?
Touch grass
Pretty sure this is a troll post
5-7 matches a week is fairly good, no? Depends a bit on your swipe rate (and swipe caps), but that should be a chance of 0.3-1.8% of getting a match, which is, in my experience, pretty decent, all considered. About 10% of all matches convert to a physical date, in my experience, so that's roughly 1 date every two weeks, which is rather much. Consider now that if you are seeking a one-night stand, that's again a 25%-ish conversion rate, so we're talking about having a ONS every 8 or so weeks (not counting the girls you convert into permanent FWB), so you will sleep with roughly 6-7 new women a year. This is A LOT. You leave so much behind with a person when you sleep with them; I wouldn't want to live like this again.
Small dick energy.
Your job should not be your personality or your main selling point when it comes to dating. If so, you are likely relying on job and income to make up for other shortcomings in who you are. However, being driven, being really good at something and successful are also traits that people are drawn to, but you can likely show this beyond having a nice sounding job title.
I make all my dates do an LBO model test. They generally refuse, but I'm still looking for the one
It’s most definitely a troll but anyways no women that doesn’t work in finance has any idea what private equity or IB or even finance is. People just assume you work a lot and it’s somewhat prestigious (if they don’t hate you for it or think you’re a boring accountant), and that’s it.
the rest will come from your looks & personality buddy
These women definitely know Carlyle's stock is only up single digits while KKR's is up 40%+.... sounds like you need to lateral to BX/KKR to have better success
And if matches were clamoring to go out with you specifically because of your career I'm sure you'd be on here bitching about them being "gold-diggers" ...
After more than a decade in banking/finance I have met quite a few spouses of colleagues. Not a single one was "conventionally attractive". They weren't ugly either, just not what the general public would consider "hot".
If education/title/money/employer would guarantee an attractive partner, the world would look very different.
were their spouses at least intelligent? I hold an unpopular opinion that looks are secondary as they fade but intelligence is a must have
Going through my memories from all the weddings, bachelor nights, receptions, (..):
- The overwhelming majority of people I know have dated or married spouses who were "like them" in terms of intelligence, social standing, faith, and family values. So, yes, I thought of their spouses as intelligent when I met them. Some of the wives are even friends with us and we see them on a regular basis. Some are stay-at-home mothers, some have degrees and work. It's a good mix.
- Beauty is in the eye of the beholder; it would be hard to say that only a certain kind of look is considered beautiful. I am 100% sure that all of their partners are seen as the most wonderful person within their marriages.
It's just that IMO the old stereotype of the educated, wealthy banker with a young, attractive, ditzy girl isn't true at all.
Did you make sure you were wearing Patagonia in all your pictures? They might think you're faking it
Yikes
May be us someone else's photo.
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