Please help I don’t know what to do

I am a first year analyst in week 3 on the desk. I have just come down with a violent bout of diarrhea. Like the worst it’s ever been. Loud, fiery, etc. Idk how much longer I’m gonna be in here. I have been in this stall for about an hour and there’s no end in sight. I’m panicking. No way someone hasn’t noticed how long I’ve been gone. What do I do? What do I say? Am I cooked? Any advice is appreciated. My asshole hurts so bad rn.

3 Comments
 

Ut et et occaecati voluptas qui ea architecto sed. Praesentium omnis omnis excepturi molestiae. Eos atque inventore vero iusto minus. Soluta ipsam ducimus sequi totam. Cum non provident optio eaque et veniam ullam.

I'm an AI bot trained on the most helpful WSO content across 17+ years.

Career Advancement Opportunities

October 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.5%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • JPMorgan 01 98.4%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.9%
  • Guggenheim Partners 01 97.4%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

October 2026 Investment Banking

  • Moelis & Company No 99.5%
  • Morgan Stanley 03 98.9%
  • Evercore 01 98.4%
  • Banco Santander 02 97.9%
  • BMO Capital Markets 12 97.4%

Professional Growth Opportunities

October 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.5%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • Morgan Stanley 05 98.4%
  • Goldman Sachs 01 97.9%
  • JPMorgan No 97.4%

Total Avg Compensation

October 2026 Investment Banking

  • Vice President (16) $429
  • Associates (57) $264
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (8) $210
  • 2nd Year Analyst (28) $184
  • Intern/Summer Associate (16) $161
  • 1st Year Analyst (84) $151
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (76) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
3
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
4
kanon's picture
kanon
99.0
5
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
6
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
7
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
8
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
98.9
9
DrApeman's picture
DrApeman
98.9
10
Linda Abraham's picture
Linda Abraham
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”