I came across a interesting concept the other day about sending your children to private school as an early inheritance. The article describes this family's decision to give their children (what they believe to be) an education that will develop their character much more than a public education would. The idea is that by making them stronger people, they will lead better lives, and the parents won't worry about what will happen to their kids after the parents are gone.
Our belief is this school, along with our guidance, will give them the greatest chance to find a career they will enjoy, be a good person, and have a happy life.We feel raising children that are kind, honest, empathetic towards others, and altruistic is much more important than becoming self-obsessed valedictorians of their class with 104.5 averages. Doing charity work should mean much more than having something to tack on to a resume.
Like all good investment strategies we will not see quick results. There will be ups and downs. Sticking to the strategy and plan is what is most important. Process always overrides short-term outcomes.
I think that this makes a lot of sense depending on how old the kids are. I don't think that the kids would appreciate this or be affected by it as much if it were in grade school, but it would be a lot more formative for high school. At the same time, a lot of it would depend on the specific schools in question; in my own experience, I've seen some areas where the public schools were much better than the private schools.
What do you guys think? Is paying for private school in the childhood years better than a larger payout as an inheritance down the road?
I think this depends on where they live. I was in a public school system that was pretty equal to the top private schools of the state and so it did not make too much sense for me to pay for private school. That being said, if I was from a poorer part of town, it probably would have made sense to pay for the private schools.
I believe that the person who wrote the article is from Stony Brook. I don't know anything about the school systems in Long Island.
I grew up in the suburbs, and the quality of the school districts in the area varied a lot, even if they were adjacent.
Stony Brook is in Suffolk County. Suffolk County is one of the highest income counties in the United States. The public school systems in New York, let alone Suffolk County, are top notch generally, benefiting from higher taxes.
Went to a boarding school from 10-12. I wouldn't say the in-class education was much better than the ones offered in the public school system, but I definitely learned the importance of discipline and independence. Didn't enjoy high school at all but it was definitely a beneficial experience for me.
It is a good thought, but it also depends on the students who inherit about these things.
Is it just me or are these parents always raising a complete pussy?
Do you actually work a job? You are on this forum way too much.
Yes - the little star next to his name means that he does.
PM for free internships at Goldman. I am totally legit! check out my star!
lol he's probably one of the most well known users. I haven't met him but there are plenty of well-known users that are in NY.
^^ Noob spotted
I believe TNA used to work in finance, then went undercover and began secretly working for Gangster Putin, at which point he didn't really need to work in banking, but for the sake of luring kids into the 8-to-2 trap, he created this glorious website called msfhq, which still doesn't pay for his luxurious penthouse up in Trump Tower and his annual membership to Mar-a-Lago, so he's still working for the Russians.
Also, BobTheBaker used to be his CIA spy, up until the Dems lost to the Reps in the election. Now I believe this guy just hangs out with black celebrities in New York, while developing a Democrat marketing campaign on WSO for 2018 and 2020.
Wild sheep live in social groups, but rams and ewes typically meet only to mate. Rams live in bachelor groups and females live in herds with other females and their young rams. When fall mating arrives, rams gather in larger groups and ram fighting escalates. Usually only stronger, older rams (with bigger horns) are able to mate.
I heard that the most elite rams with the largest horns finished at Phillips Exeter.
Character? Easily the best part of private school is developing connections that will go with you through life. Developing connections applies to public school as well, but the value of those private school connections is way higher, at least when it comes to career opportunities. I was on a scholarship at a fantastic school, and most of my friends from there are doctors, lawyers, bankers, high-ranking government executives, and so on.
My fellow AP kids from HS are analysts at Amazon after going to Wharton, corp dev at yahoo after baml tech, doctors, engineers at prominent companies like exxon, in the air force officer pilot training program etc. This is from a middle class HS where the average home value is probably less than $200k (which ain't too bad in Texas). I think it depends on who you surround yourself with, private school is overrated unless you're rich and want to meet a bunch of people who are also rich.
I hear you and this has been my experience in Texas as well - partially because employers roll out the red carpet here for UT grads, partially because some of the private schools seem to just exist for social reasons as opposed to academic ones. Heck in my experience UT is a target for NYC positions. However, it doesn't translate to the whole country. I grew up in a state where the higher ed system is a mess and there aren't many employers in the state. Private / Parochial schools gave a lot of financial aid / academic scholarships and were viewed as the way (unless you lived in a school district with $1MM+ homes) to get into the good out of state schools (both public and private) that had much better employment stats than the in state schools.
Private schools cater to a different crowd. It's more about learning how to behave in a particular social setting, with other rich kids, and to gear students towards particular activities that are often career-oriented. I'll admit, this is more the case in the UK than in the US, though some similarities are observed, and some differences too. Kids in the UK discuss politics, while private school kids in the US discuss finance and HFs and starting up. Also, in almost all geographies, you get to study with celebrities' kids and millionaires' boys so there.
I've personally observed certain deficiencies in my manners when behaving in an upper class crowd. I personally haven't learnt how to shake hands in a particular fashion, bow down before royalty in a particular fashion or talk snobbishly like the gentlemen of past. What I do know are street smarts and how to duck and tackle the motherf*cker who'll come at me with a knife or blade. What I learnt from not going to a private school are standing up to unfriendly bullies and standing up for my word. What I learnt from not going to a fancy school is hustling up and doing shit to make money for parties and hanging out. These characteristics aren't taught, but are learnt from the environment. And when overly concerned parents create virtually "safe spaces" in private schools for their kids, this environmental aspect is lost, and those rich kids end up becoming wussies. If you've noticed, this thing has happened only in the past 50 years - before that, most rich kids were drilled in the military, fighting in India or Rhodesia.
sometimes i think it's more for the parents to meet other powerful parents through 'volunteering', fundraisers, etc.
I went to shitty public school, where sometimes I would drink instead of going to lessons.
Ended up in a top university with classmates who went to Eton. I don't know what outcome I would have ended up with if I went to solid private school.
Genes (IQ) > environment, having said that I would have rather went to a good private school.
Let me preface this by saying I don't want to make any blanket statements about people based on where they went to school.
I went to public school my entire childhood in New York City. One of the high schools I was accepted to produced 7+ Nobel Laureates. I turned it down for something better. That said, there were a lot of bad schools, way more than good ones.
Really, private school is only a worthwhile investment in my eyes if your child doesn't have the intelligence to hack it in the muck with the other plebians, because a private school education guarantees a modicum of status and connections that helps with the college application process. But if your kid knows how to win and distinguish themselves, I think a public school education is great.
The kids I interact with nowadays are a much more wealthy and connected set than the ones I interacted with growing up. That said, I feel like they missed out on a really crucial part of education. They're out of touch with how average people think and behave, and it shows when they have to deal with average people when we're out drinking, when we're in a cab, etc. Their lives also have a very big and robust safety net that they're not really even cognizant of. Frankly, in my experience, kids who had the best education money can buy tend to lack the grit and force of will that helps people who didn't have money climb out of the gutter. And I pity them for it, because those characteristics are harder to acquire if you haven't been forced to hone them up until college. And I pity them for it doubly that when we're sitting on opposite sides of a table in our current lives, they're not playing with a full deck of cards relative to me.
the are also pussies
Some of them are. Then again a lot of public school kids I know are as well.
I don't think there's any blanket rule about it. Private school is like guard rails at a bowling alley - they help you stay on track even when you're bouncing around in all sorts of directions, and they help ensure that at least you hit the pins.
Public school is like a bowling lane without the guard rails. You're bouncing around without a barrier, and a lot more kids fall into the gutter. For those of us who don't, the experience of flirting with the gutter's edge and not falling into it is character building, imo.
This is a terrible idea in today's economy.
Screw prestige. Get cash.
I have a hard time seeing how anyone could answer your question with any sort of certainty even in the context of a specific school, much less in the general case you presented. That said, my immediate thoughts would be:
From the parent's POV, sending your kids to a boarding school (or an extremely restrictive non-boarding school, such as the one described here) seems like it would reduce the overall burden on you as a parent now. Unless you believe that you'll be around in some form after death and still be highly concerned about your kid's success at that point, this seems to strongly argue in favor the private school option. a. Of course, this is really just an argument against leaving an inheritance, not for private school. b. I'm pretty cynical on the topic of parenting etc., so it bears mentioning that most people approach this emotionally, in which case this comment wouldn't apply.
Even ignoring the above, it seems like you would have to ascribe a (very?) negative NPV to the private school investment to justify putting it toward their inheritance instead, given the higher regulatory concerns around inheritance (especially via tax) and longer (and less certain) maturity. That seems unlikely to be true to me, but I went to public school so I'm not sure.
Like some posters above I do not want to make blanket statements... I did go to a private HS and I would say half of my friends went to public hs and half went private like me - here are some thoughts:
Yes, it depends on if your local public school is 'good' or not. Some are way better than others and I know where I'm from the regional magazine publishes an annual report detailing each public highschool's average GPA, average SAT & ACT, average graduation rate, etc. As you can expect there's a strong relationship b/w wealthy towns and overperforming schools - however - people have made the argument that could be due to the wealthy families having the resources for outside tutoring (valid point in my opinion).
I personally think a private school is a good decision for parents to make if they feel their child isn't self-motivated (perpetually lazy) or if the child lacks discipline (acts out, etc). I was once told that we are the average of our three closest friends - if your friends like the NFL, like doing well in school, and all are hard workers then you likely share those traits. With that being said, as a parent you would want your child in that kind of an environment.
Note: I have had friends be 'successful' and 'not successful' in both the private and public HS setting - I really think its all about self-motivation and discipline. If you have that chip on your shoulder for whatever reason, whether you're the child of an immigrant or whether you're very ambitious, I think you will do well in either setting. However, like I said earlier, if you're someone who lacks the discipline to do homework, to study, and is all around lazy a private HS setting may be a better choice.
By the way, private school does not impart discipline 100% on every single student. Some just don't pick it up and continue bad habits all the way through. I believe that a student needs an internal motivator so that whenever they feel like not doing homework or not studying for an exam, the motivation is always there (not a stupid poster) but something that drives them - like attaining the first college diploma in their family or attaining wealth for the sake of their immigrant parents who sacrificed a lot (those are examples).
I am a big believer in this idea: https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/4786lr/eli5why_is_t…
and http://www.theglobeandmail.com/globe-investor/globe-wealth/eroding-fami…
That idea sort of supports my view that it is all about perspective and internal motivation. Growing up poor or growing up watching your parents work multiple jobs to support you creates a sort of chip on your shoulder - this sort of bypasses whether you go to public school or private school.
That's my two cents anyways.
Edit: Not every private HS is 100% wealthy kids, good private schools in my opinion are very diverse in every sense of the word. I took my AP classes in HS with kids from every kind of background imaginable so a blanket statement that private schools are 100% rich people from the same socioeconomic background is a generalization. Some private HS's are like that yes but not all, also, some private highschools are about $10k a year and they can reach $60k a year.
You don't need to send them top private school for an amazing education. There are so many elite public high schools in the country. My public HS class had 400 students (60% Indian and Chinese) and 99% went to college. Out of the 80 of us who were striving for an elite education, 40 of us got into USNews Top 20 schools and couple to top schools in Canada/UK/Japan.
The only downside was that the group of 80 all had an extremely competitive attitude with kids in that group feeling like failures for getting 2100 on SATs or taking AP Calc AB instead of classes at the local ivy.
At this point in life (probably obvious to most people) I believe the two most important factors for positioning oneself for success is Education and Information.
IMO it doesn't matter if you go to a private or public school although they both provide advantages as far as development is concerned. They key is building a solid foundation where you not only learn the fundamentals but develop a natural curiosity for learning and critical thinking skills.
I know this now because my early childhood education involved going to a school that had quite a few kids from low-income and or broken homes. I had students who illegally immigrated to the US as well as blacks who often had no father or both parents were in jail or simply deadbeats.
How is this relevant? Well when you have a teacher who is paid peanuts and has to take on the role of parenting, babysitting, and teaching the above-mentioned kids you're bound to spend more time on this rather than actually teaching. Net result is that those of us like myself suffer because we never had the chance to build our foundation when it mattered most.
Luckily my parents moved me out of there and by switching to a public school in a well-to-do suburb I went from being a C-/D+ student to a B+/A- student WITHOUT any extra effort because the classroom environment was conducive to learning.
I say all that to say this. I firmly believe had I gone to a private, reputable school I would've developed the skills I needed earlier on and possibly changed the trajectory of my life. Simple skills such as learning out to study and natural curiosity weren't developed until much later in my life.
I'm almost certain (to address OP's question) that sending a kid to a private prep school known for developing Ivy League caliber students is a MUCH better investment with a higher qualitative ROI.
Anecdotally speaking if you look at Analysts and above that are at some of the more well-known IB and PE firms in Houston you'll notice quite a few who went to St. John's (one of the best private schools in Houston). I know correlation doesn't always equal causation but its pretty damn close IMO.
Perfect answer. Here's a silver banana. ROI wise, I agree that a private school is much better in the long run. If you're looking at life skills, a relatively heterogeneous public school helps. Or you could do right parenting and teach your kids those skills yourself. What we see are a lot of parents failing to do the latter.
And obviously, it does not take a genius to know that in today's world, the benefits of one outweigh the other, except in a few exceptions.
Thanks @Frank Quattrone" and I agree. As for the bold (and this can spin off into a number of sub-discussions) but one of the key failures of American society is:
1.) Parents that are incapable and or ill-suited to raise children and give them the guidance they need (i.e. Something as basic as helping with homework) because they themselves are uneducated or lack the ability to do so.
2.) Breakdown of traditional family structure either due to divorce or parents that are too focused on careers or other areas of life and therefore, do not provide the support and nurturing kids need (both of these examples are more relevant for kids that are younger).
Fixing the above would go a long way in forging a more educated and prepared society and help to get people out of the poverty cycle and reduce dependence on welfare. This is the difference I see between countries like South Korea vs the US.
From personal experience having gone to private and public schools, I do feel private school was a worthwhile investment. I grew up in a pretty wealthy suburb with a highly ranked public education system, but private school was still a step above. I went to private school for only 3 years during middle school, and I some crucial stuff like English grammar, writing, foreign language, and college-level math. That would not have been possible at a public school. Above all though, the environment where you have smart AND motivated kids is really the kicker. I was unmotivated until college because I didn't have to put in much effort to do seemingly well compared to my friends. When the benchmark was a lot higher, and my friends were a lot more motivated, I put a lot more thought and effort into my schoolwork. Of course if you're one of those kids who's always been smart and driven, it may not matter. But the average kid is thinking a lot more about how to fit in, make friends, and have fun than studying for tests or doing homework -- when being smart is "cool," it's a lot easier to focus on the right things.
Ideally, I would like to send my kids to private school and give them a massive inheritance. I went to private school for 1-8. Then, I went to a public high school skipped about 70% of my classes between sophomore and senior year.
First of all, the inheritance can accrue more interest if money isn't taken out early to pay for the private school. Compound interest on an extra $20k-$50k/year over a period of 13 years (not including college or preschool) can add up. From that perspective, I'd prefer the inheritance.
Second, I would disagree with the linked author's argument that "[his family is] paying $16,000 in property taxes for the right not to use public education." Public education is a finite resource. You (and/or your family) is using it for a set period of time. The rest of time, you're paying for it anyway, whether you're a young homeowner or a childless octogenarian who's owned his place for ages. You're never going to get the full value of the money your taxes put into this resource. Plus, his reasons for going to private school (wearing a tie and jacket to class, going to a "non-denominational" chapel daily, not using your smartphone as a punishment) do NOT justify giving up compound interest on an inheritance to me.
Finally, on the question of public vs. private, I have to say that it really and truly depends on both teachers and the schools themselves. There are private schools where I grew up that are more or less public schools you pay out of the nose for (a solid public school would truly be better, financially and otherwise). People go there to show off to others and say that "my child goes to a private school." The quality of education is perhaps a step above the top school in DCPS (which isn't saying much). There are also public magnet schools that provide a rigorous preparation, but always in STEM. Within these magnet schools, there are horrible teachers and terrific teachers, too. The students are very demanding, though, and teachers have to keep up with THEM. This is a very specific, pre-selected environment with a strong focus in one area, and so not reflective of public schools as a whole.
On average, though, I will say that the teachers I had in private school (early elementary, and high school) were a step above the teachers I had in public school (late elementary and middle school).
The top teachers in private school were truly, truly phenomenal. I remember visiting one of my private HS teachers during freshman year of college; her high school class was like a graduate course compared to the upper level college class I was taking in the subject. Our Headmaster was also incredible, took an interest in every student, and knew all of the parents very well. We had a few duds in private school when it came to teachers, of course, but they did try. Just their method of teaching was just boring or they lacked charisma or they had a horrible American accent when it came to foreign languages.
The worst public school teachers I had openly admitted to the students that they had no idea what they were doing in education, complained that they were treated unfairly by everyone, talked about their marital troubles in explicit detail, etc. The majority were average, beloved for being "funny" or weird and not really teaching. Only one truly taught in a rigorous way, didn't take any BS, was there to help students who showed an interest in the subject, and was overall very well-liked. Other than that, I spent most of my time in public school bored and looked for intellectual simulation outside of school. Which, to be frank, I think you have to do at any school.
You're never going to be spoon-fed exactly what you want to learn in any environment; you're going to have to seek it out. In private school, my peers were more oriented towards having intellectual interests outside of school and we knew that our teachers would help us achieve those goals (for instance, my friend wanted to take sailing as a sports requirement when it wasn't offered at school; a way was found that allowed my friend to pursue her interest outside of school for school credit). Meanwhile, with the notable exception being my amazing aforementioned public school teacher, whenever I expressed intellectual interests outside the scope of our class in public school, at most I'd get a pat on the head and a "that's nice."
But, as always, this is one person's experience and what I may find important in education certainly won't hold true for everyone else.
I grew up in a wealthy area with elite public schools. The richest children in my area all went to public high school. The only ones who didnt were for religious or behavioral concerns. I went to public school for k-12 and I was mostly satified. However the quality of English teachers was still below par and both of my parents learned englih as a second language. I would put my children in private school for grades k-8 because their writing and communication skills will be significantly better. I would still have them go to a very good public high school because I believe the diversity of students there will help their people skills, rather than going to an all white and rich school.
I went to a public HS in a state notorious for its shitty education. The top 1-3 kids would go out-of-state for college (and not necessarily elite schools.) I did quite fine for myself, but my HS provided me with zero connections and certainly did little to help me come admissions time. Then again, going to a public school taught me to be compassionate towards people who are not so lucky in life. I had lots of friends who came from one-parent households, no means of paying college, and were relegated to working in manual labor.
Going to a private school comes with many amazing perks. But many private school graduates I met are so far removed from the reality that 90% of Americans have to deal with.
Well, I went to a poor, failing public school in a blue collar town and then to public college. Two of my direct reports are older than me and went to Philips Exeter and Choate before Ivy League undergrad and top MBAs. My parents (if they'd had the desire/money) would have made a bad investment.
I had educationally engaged parents for my background/upbringing. To me that is way more important than the actual high school. My daughter will be going to a racially and socioeconomically diverse public school just like I did.
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