Relationships in Finance - Maintaining vs. Initiating

Almost exactly three years ago, when I was considering banking as a career (a career that never happened), an alumnus from my school gave me some pretty interesting advice:

"If you care for a relationship, you should consider investment banking if you already have a girlfriend when you graduate and other fields fields if you're single, because you have time to maintain a relationship in investment banking but no time to initiate.”

Since I'm a trader now, I'm curious about whether or not this is true and I was wondering if the people who have been in the industry for a while could speak to it. Sometimes I feel that if maintaining takes less time than initiating, then maybe it's not a very good relationship to be in. I'm not sure though. And how does it apply to other fields in finance? I know @bankerella proved through her in-depth analysis a while back that traders are the best to date, but is this really true?

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Best Response

I agree to an extent speaking purely from my own anecdotal experiences acquired during my year of Big 4 audit. I was doing two years of university studies alongside my work where I had to do all the project work and take all the exams but I was exempt from lectures/seminars. When exams/project deadlines and busy season managed to come together I had to pull several all-nighters in a row and even in off season I was averaging 16-18 hours a day with work on weekends as well and study commitments(Big 4 audit is hugely understaffed where I'm from).

My significant other with whom I had been together for a little over a year at the time was hugely supportive and understanding, and was instrumental in my successful completion of my academics as well as meeting all expectations at work. However, it took a huge toll on our relationship and I don't think we would be together at this point if I hadn't gotten out. That being said, initiating a relationship in such a situation would have been impossible unless it was a colleague with similar hours to mine. I mean going out on dates and arranging for creative activities frequently just doesn't tend to happen, and virtually none of my colleagues managed to establish stabile relationships outside of work, and many failed to maintain their pre-existing ones.

In my opinion, such situations may favor maintenance over initiation in the short to medium term but in the long run the chances of success in either become astronomical. Serious props to whoever has succeeded in such an endeavour.

 

"If you care for a relationship, you should consider investment banking if you already have a girlfriend when you graduate and other fields fields if you're single, because you have time to maintain a relationship in investment banking but no time to initiate.”

This made my brain hurt.

"A modest man, with much to be modest about"
 
Captain Unremarkable

"If you care for a relationship, you should consider investment banking if you already have a girlfriend when you graduate and other fields fields if you're single, because you have time to maintain a relationship in investment banking but no time to initiate.”

This made my brain hurt.

Haha! Instinctively, I read it a few times and reconstructed it. It felt like a GMAT practice question: "Fix this sentence."
Make opportunities. Not excuses.
 

Conversational english guys, yeesh.

You do limit the subset of significant others to those who will put up with your schedule, and probably become a less interesting and more stressed person.

I think the very concept of maintaining a relationship is wrong, presumably if you are in it for the long haul you want to be moving forward, which does take time (often more late in the game than early on).

 

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