shitposting on LinkedIn

should I start shitposting on LinkedIn? I've completed a sophisticated analysis and legitimately think that LinkedIn is a blue ocean when it comes to shitposting.

I think that I could build a massive following by sigma male grindset posting on there. for those who aren't familiar, sigma male grindset posting is basically parodying the alpha male type of posts that you see motivational accounts on Instagram post.

nobody else is doing this right now, I assume because you have to be a real person to use LinkedIn so fake accounts would get banned. and also because most real people are too afraid of ruining their reputation by shitposting on LinkedIn, thankfully I am not afraid as long as the risk reward paradigm makes sense. I could see a couple avenues for monetization.

couples examples of posts (some of these are stolen from having read them online) (I only have one long form post idea so far and will post that one in the comments):

  • unless your wife and kids are working, they are not wealth accumulating assets. get rid of them. #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset

  • you worship God. I worship Cousin Greg. we are not the same. #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset

  • I refuse to spend money to cut my hair. this is one of the small things in life that will compound over time to make me a billionaire. #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset

  • I've never watched anything on Netflix. not a single episode, not even once. 'omg you're missing out'. maybe I am. but maybe you're missing out too - maybe you're missing out on becoming a billionaire. keep your Netflix #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset

  • you are living in a pandemic. I am living in a bandemic (period of time during which smart capitalists attempt to accumulate wealth from businesses). we are not the same. #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset

  • spend $10k on a logo for your startup before launching. you won't regret it. #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset

  • view people as assets. #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset

  • you by drugs for fun (weed). I buy drugs to work harder (modafinil). we are not the same. #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset

  • sigma rule #379: when your company fails, extract at least $1 Billion before you are pushed out. #adamneumann #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset

  • do not 'build a relationship' with new connections on LinkedIn. pitch them in the DMs immediately - bonus points if you make no attempt to personalize the message. #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset

  • accumulate as much non personally guaranteed debt as possible, with no intention of ever paying back your lenders. #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset

  • use VC money to buy a yacht. #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset

  • you can't have success unless you never fail. and you'll never succeed unless you aren't willing to fail. don't be willing to fail. #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset

  • never stop to count your blessings. the time that you spend counting your blessings is time that your competition will spend putting you out of business. #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset

  • buy your way into the Forbes 30 under 30. #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset

  • normalize sending kids to China to teach English after high school without making them feel like they are less than four year University kids. #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset

  • you don't need the right people working for you to be successful, you just need a lot of people. #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset

  • ghost people when they can no longer provide you value. #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset

  • use your general marketing emails to scare your customers into checking your website. #creditkarma #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset

  • investment bankers think that they are hard working when in reality they only work 100 hours per week. meanwhile entrepreneurs work 168 hours per week every week and don't complain as much. #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset

  • most bosses don't know how to take advantage of their team, but a true leader knows how to take advantage of everyone. #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset

  • burn bridges behind you so that you are screwed if you fail. #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset

  • never doubt yourself. anyone who disagrees with you does not matter. #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset

  • quick poll out of curiosity. how many hours do you work per day? option 1: 16+ hours per day, option 2: less than 16 hours per day #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset

  • learn from the mistakes of people who take your advice. #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset

  • money speaks only one language - Mandarin. learn Mandarin and move to China if you want financial freedom. #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset

  • the road to success is lonely. that's why a prison cell only has one toilet but your average house has 2+. #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset

  • so you're ready to give up? your competition is working ten times harder than you, has ten times as much capital as you, and has ten times as many connections as you. motivated yet? good. now go outwork them. #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset

  • the 25/5 rule: 1. make a list of the top 25 things that you want to do in life. now do the bottom 5. #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset

  • you'll never see the stars if you're always looking up - the Sun will burn your eyes. don't dream so big if you want to be successful. #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset

  • 5 movies for entrepreneurs: 1. Wizard of Lies 2. Matchstick Men 3. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory 4. Ocean's Eleven 5. A Bug's Life. #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset

  • stop trying to build the next big thing slow. remember that it only takes 5 minutes to build a peanut butter sandwich. #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset 

  • disappear for just four months: - rent a capsule hotel in Japan - buy physical copies of Rich Dad Poor Dad and sell them to your friends - eat Cheerios for Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner

  • don't buy stakes in companies. buy stakes in people. #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset

  • if you had to choose one which one would you pick: option 1: true love and 1 Million Dollars, option 2: 100 Billion Dollars. #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset

if this post gets 10+ silver bananas I will start posting these tomorrow. if you think that I am joking, you do not know me well enough.

Comments (22)

Most Helpful
famejranc, what's your opinion? Comment below:

long form post idea: one time in college I was walking around the business school, and I saw a drawing that was hanging up on the wall on the third floor of the building, stuck within a glass frame. next to the frame, there was a note which said that the drawing was being sold, and to contact the email with your bid if you would like to participate in the bidding. I asked a few people what they thought of the drawing. 'anyone with rudimentary skills could draw that drawing.' is what one person told me. another person said - 'I wouldn't pay more than 0.003 cents to purchase that drawing. that drawing isn't worth more than the paper that it was printed on.' I thought that the drawing was beautiful, and I submitted a bid of $50 (all of the money that I had at the time) to try and win the drawing. I won the drawing. When I won, I found out that this drawing was actually the original version of Mickey Mouse, drawn by Walt Disney himself. supposedly this drawing is worth over $100 MM, however I will never sell this drawing - as the lesson that it taught me was worth much more than $100 MM could ever mean to me. know your value. (attached is a picture of a stick figure). #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset

famejranc, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I might actually just post this one in the morning. Either this one or the peanut butter sandwich one.

  • 1
famejranc, what's your opinion? Comment below:

this thread could single handedly revive the off topic section

theAudiophile, what's your opinion? Comment below:
  • When you cross a bridge, burn it. Then no one can get to where you're at #burningpassions #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset
  • Never look back. Only look at the back in front of you and shove it down out of your way. #pushforsuccess #overcomingobstacles #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset
  • Take out life insurance. Not on yourself, on your family. Make a death in the family a cause for celebration instead of moping  #selfworth #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset
  • Go launch a new charity. Make yourself the beneficiary and invest all your income into it #solvingtaxes #selfgiving #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset
  • Live your life with no brakes. Make others afraid of your speed and momentum so if they don't move it becomes their problem, not yours #unstoppableforcevsimmovableobject #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset
  • Take out all debt you can and make yourself simply too big to fail. Succeed by default and make everyone else know your failure is not an option #solyndradidnothingwrong #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset
  • Do all your grocery shopping by delivery to cut your own carbon footprint and spend more time focusing on creating what the world really needs, the next CandyCrush #priorities #humanprogress #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset
  • You want a business idea? Start a used car dealership that focuses only on nondescript vans with dark tinted windows. Sell to a private and discrete customerbase that prides itself on privacy from prying eyes and you'll also get 24/7 police coverage of your lot #freesecuritylifehacks #knowyouraudience #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset
  • Find someone you want to emulate. Follow their day to day life in-person for first hand experience so you know who they really are. Do what you can to gain an edge on your research by finding out their banking info to see what they make and how they spend it. Reading their emails is also a great way to get more insight into them.  #followyourdreams #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset
  • Watch the entire life's work of Dick Wolf and you'll know more than someone with a law degree and you'll skip the boring civil matters like investors trying to get their money back from your startup. It's not your fault you were too busy learning law instead of running a new business. #DunDun #sigmamalegrindset #upyourgrindset
  • Want free tickets to sporting events? Even the super bowl? Buy a t-shirt cannon! Take it with you to any event and you'll get in for free! You might even get paid while you're at it. Who's going to say you never were on the floor for the NBA finals now? #launchsmarternotharder #sigmamalemindset #upyourgrindset
  • Business idea for my entrepeneurs: build your own new resale gig in $900 inventory increments based out of San Francisco, a known hotbed of entrepeneurship! Take advantage of freebies like this to grow your startup one brick and mortar experience at a time. Help build community exposure for these distributors by leaving Yelp reviews about how easy the checkout process was while you were there too. #hitthepavement #breakingbarrierstoentry #sigmamalemindset #upyourgrindset
  • How to be an influencer: Combine that legal knowledge you gained from Dick Wolf along with your self made charity and raise money for an activist cause to take bad actors off of YouTube. File as many copyright infringement cases as you can. Who cares if they're realistic or not, that's for the courts to decide anyways, right? A lot of people will pay you to just go away. So not only do you make money, now you get to save money by not actually going to court! Following this absolutely in your face strategy, your name will rocket to notoriety almost overnight and everyone will know who you are! They'll all be paying attention to what you have to say and you might get a book deal too! Wins all around! #leveragingsynergies #DunDun #Ipaytaxesforcourtsanyways #sigmamalemindset #upyourgrindset
  • #I'llkeepaddingtothisasIthinkofthem
  • 8
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theAudiophile, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Since we're shittalking about shittalking on LinkedIn: anyone else getting really fed up with all these "talk to me like I'm 5, but in corporate speak" postings about "Today I am excited to announce that I have joined company as a [title]. I am grateful for blah, blah, blah" or "I can't believe it's been [%timeperiod%] since I started at company, but this Friday will be my last day". Great, good for you. I got actual crap to care about instead of wasting my time on your self inflicted fellatio. It's so obviously some new form of emoji, but now it's white collar because it's on LinkedIn so you know it's super serial professional!

  • 3
snarf42, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I've always said to my friends that LinkedIn shitpost humor is one of the most underrated types of humor out there - fully support you in this endeavor!

Hayek, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Please do not ruin LinkedIn anymore than it has already been ruined.

famejranc, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Alright I just posted the first one. Should be fairly easy to find it. I'll post a second one in like an hour. I want to post a couple today just so that people realize that I'm joking.

famejranc, what's your opinion? Comment below:

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Monty Burns, what's your opinion? Comment below:

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