Start Jerking Off

Please help me update this list to create perfection....

Hair Color: Blonde
Eyes: Blue
Ethnicity: German American (or Jewish)
Height: 6'4"
SAT: 2390
No. of University Applications: 3 (HYP)
No. of University Offers: 3
University Attended: Harvard
Degree: A.B. Economics
Favorite Prof.: Larry Summers
Study Abroad: Oxford
Freshman Summer: Backpacking through Europe
Sophomore Summer: Teaching English in Japan
Junior Summer: GS, NY, SA, TMT IBD
No. of Job Applications: 5 (JPM, MS, MBB)
No. of Job Offers: 5
GPA: 3.96
First Job: FT Return Offer in GS, NY, IBD
GMAT: 790
No. of MBA Applications: 8 (M7+Yale)
No. of MBA Offers: 8
MBA Attended: HBS, Baker Scholar
MBA summer internship: KKR
First Post-MBA Job: KKR

43 Comments
 
Best Response
gs_hbs_kkr
SirTradesaLotHow big are your tits?

Bigger than your dick.

I'm confused. You say, "Start jerking off" and list off a bunch of school stuff. Show your tits or gtfo.
 
SirTradesaLot.

Love the new tag line. That was definitely one of the best comments I had seen in a while

I would agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.
 
rogersterling59
SirTradesaLot.

Love the new tag line. That was definitely one of the best comments I had seen in a while

It's one of my all time favorite quotes from WSO. That kid is hilarious.
 

I'm not jerkin it till you list where you went to high school... if its anywhere public, don't even bother

"Yes. Money has been a little bit tight lately, but at the end of my life, when I'm sitting on my yacht, am I gonna be thinking about how much money I have? No. I'm gonna be thinking about how many friends I have and my children and my comedy albums."
 

Nooooooo. Noooooooo.

CNBC sucks "This financial crisis is worse than a divorce. I've lost all my money, but the wife is still here." - Client after getting blown up
 

Jerking off, even in a metaphorical sense, to (your own) stats just goes to show how disconnected you truly are. The real world is eventually going to swallow you, but it will be a mouthful because your arrogance is massive.

And I am happy rogersterling59 mentioned SirTradesaLot's tag line because it is completely applicable here; all of your points came from a lame post about your stats?

Making an account on WSO to brag about yourself is almost as stupid as thinking that anyone here cares...

Honestly, I'm a lot more impressed by the total non-target who lands a prestigious job than you having the typical overachiever life.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

And if this post meant anything at all, why would your favorite professor matter? My favorite billionaire could be Bill Gates, but it doesn't make me anything like him.

once again...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 
frozencheeseJerking off, even in a metaphorical sense, to (your own) stats just goes to show how disconnected you truly are. The real world is eventually going to swallow you, but it will be a mouthful because your arrogance is massive.

And I am happy rogersterling59 mentioned SirTradesaLot's tag line because it is completely applicable here; all of your points came from a lame post about your stats?

Making an account on WSO to brag about yourself is almost as stupid as thinking that anyone here cares...

Honestly, I'm a lot more impressed by the total non-target who lands a prestigious job than you having the typical overachiever life.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

And if this post meant anything at all, why would your favorite professor matter? My favorite billionaire could be Bill Gates, but it doesn't make me anything like him.

once again...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Maybe you should learn to take a joke...

 
DaisukiDaYo
frozencheeseJerking off, even in a metaphorical sense, to (your own) stats just goes to show how disconnected you truly are....etc.

Maybe you should learn to take a joke...

Maybe you should learn to not in anyway stand up for someone who makes you look like a dipshit by association.

 

You've inspired me to do mine!

Race: Indian Cock Size: Small (but fierce) Cocaine problem : Commenting on WSO at 7:30 in the morning Likes: Whores Dislikes: Condoms, the Irish (not the Irish from Ireland. The American Irish. The Irish Irish scare me. You American "Irish" are a bunch of pussies. If the real Irish knew how many of you punk ass bitches claimed Irish and acted like bitches, there would be a bloodbath.)

Start strokin' it boys and girls!

 
NYCbandarYou've inspired me to do mine!

Race: Indian Cock Size: Small (but fierce) Cocaine problem : Commenting on WSO at 7:30 in the morning Likes: Whores Dislikes: Condoms, the Irish (not the Irish from Ireland. The American Irish. The Irish Irish scare me. You American "Irish" are a bunch of pussies. If the real Irish knew how many of you punk ass bitches claimed Irish and acted like bitches, there would be a bloodbath.)

Start strokin' it boys and girls!

Hahaha! Great shit.

"Come at me, bro"- José de Palafox y Melci
 
gs_hbs_kkr Ethnicity: German American (or Jewish)

I would take Irish American over German (or even Jewish) any day.

Too late for second-guessing Too late to go back to sleep.
 
gs_hbs_kkrPlease help me update this list to create perfection....

Hair Color: Blonde Eyes: Blue Ethnicity: German American (or Jewish) Height: 6'4" SAT: 2390 No. of University Applications: 3 (HYP) No. of University Offers: 3 University Attended: Harvard Degree: A.B. Economics Favorite Prof.: Larry Summers Study Abroad: Oxford Freshman Summer: Backpacking through Europe Sophomore Summer: Teaching English in Japan Junior Summer: GS, NY, SA, TMT IBD No. of Job Applications: 5 (JPM, MS, MBB) No. of Job Offers: 5 GPA: 3.96 First Job: FT Return Offer in GS, NY, IBD GMAT: 790 No. of MBA Applications: 8 (M7+Yale) No. of MBA Offers: 8 MBA Attended: HBS, Baker Scholar MBA Summer Internship: KKR First Post-MBA Job: KKR

Problem Areas:

SAT: 2400 (ACT: 36 - SAT 2: Math 2: 800, Physics: 800, American History, 800) Sophomore Summer: The Blackstone Group, SA, Restructuring GPA: 4.00 GMAT: 800 No. of MBA Applications: 8 (M7+Tuck)

...this presents a much cleaner application with a better fit for the aspirations of this site

 

Congrats! This is probably the best success story on WSO. Now I have a new inspiration to commit myself everyday to making it big.

Thank you so much for sharing, and thanks for motivating me. Have fun!

 
"gs_hbs_kkr"

Freshman Summer: Backpacking through Europe

Sophomore Summer: Teaching English in Japan

Junior Summer: GS, NY, SA, TMT IBD

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Array
 

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