I’m currently at a top LO, working in equity research. I have nothing to show but a few hundred thousand in savings, a wife, and a beautiful life. And guess that? I’m happy.
Everyone on here has some sort of egotistical syndrome where posting your net worth, posting your “prestigious” role as an analyst/PM, or posting how many hours you work in a day, deserves you some sort of merit badge that makes you deserving of a golden star…
I’d like to ask you this: How many of the men/women you work for are actually successful? In that they have a happy marriage, not one sustained by material objects, but one based on values, perseverance, grit, and love. I’d love to hear about those that actually love their job or work for someone that’s actually passionate about the role we live day to day. That receives mentorship like the person in charge is rooting for you to be this “successful” person, not screaming at you because a position is down 150bps, and not a person that is praising you for one that’s up 300bps. Rather one that is rooting for you to make hard decisions, for you to be the person that goes out of his way to make sure a position doesn’t upend your career, or a person that makes sure you understand the pure drivers of alpha.
Simple question: how many of you are actually happy? And are mentored by one that is on your corner? Honest question.
Dude. don't understand why the two have to be mutually exclusive? plenty of people have high net-worth are super ambitious and hardworking and manage to have a healthy happy relationship/family.
Yeah pretty much this. Theres always this line of thinking that “Hey I may not be making what guys on here are but at least I have my wife and kids!”. Its a straight coping mechanism. Have worked for multiple PMs with happy family lives that see their kids just as much as an average corporate worker (or more given they get to take 3 months off to their Summer House) and still make $10M+ in good years. You can still coach your kids soccer league, go to disney, take your wife on date nights on the weekend. Its just straight up delusion that there is this linear trade off.
I have to disagree. Yes, there are always exceptions, but the vast majority of “ultra wealthy” people in specifically finance jobs have pretty terrible family lives. If we just look at a subset of the top 10-20 richest people in finance, there are like 15-18 divorces among them. You could do the same analysis on any sample size of hedge funds. Sure, we all know a few people in our lives that are family oriented, but I don’t think that’s the norm at all. It’s the exception to the rule that we should all strive for.
If anything, this post is a coping mechanism for you
Not a fair point. You are at a Top LO- which means high job security with good to potentially extraordinary pay for an entire career. The folks at HFs either SM or MM have to make their nut, earlier the better, because they know any given year they could be fired without the opp to come back to the industry. In that case, you need to maximize your near term comp to have a nest egg when/if things go ary. Your career is basically investing in Amazon- you can invest for the long term and take a real view on the next 10 years. Most HF jobs is equivalent of investing in a high cost, levered oil and gas cyclical - get profits when good because next year you could be BK.
Would agree there is a lot of cope here. I work at a tiger cub and am the youngest person at my fund. My PM is a billionaire and the older IPs (mid-40’s) are worth ~$50mm, multiples of that number for 1-2 of them (not a result of cash comp but more so 20 years of compounding). There have been no divorces. All the IPs seem to have great home lives (what I’ve gathered from meeting their kids and spouses). Nobody married materialistic or shallow either. And they all spend plenty of time with their kids (summer houses / ski houses / beach houses etc. with the family as another person mentioned) and seem to take an interest in their kids’ lives.
If I could go 10 or 20 years down the line, I would give my left nut to be in the position that they are in today. Being successful in the HF world and having a good family life are not mutually exclusive. There’s quite a bit of cope going on here.
In spite of, not because of.
As the other guy mentioned, just because your sample size shows a certain outcome, it does not reflect the general population. Tons of divorces in finance. Tons of divorces with hardworking wealthy people who dedicate themselves to their career and put it first. This is nothing new. These types of people put their career first and that’s okay.
It’s not a cope to put your family first. In my opinion it is a very respectable thing because when I think about my legacy, it will be my kids. I’d rather have them think of me as a present and dedicated father than a guy who wasn’t there because he was chasing option value on his career.
If you can be a billionaire and have a successful personal life chances are you are the minority, not the majority. I’d also venture to say you do not have kids yet na shave not actually dealt with the difficulties of balancing a high-stress, always “on” job with being a dad.
Not in the HF world, but the only place I have seen people make UHNW money and have a robust family life is unsexy mid-sized businesses. The guy with the $30MM HVAC company taking home $2M absolutely has the best WLB, assuming he has a management team.
Again, this is an edge case. But I would guess there are a lot more people making $2-10M running a boring family biz like this than in PM or analyst seats. Just a datapoint, not a contradiction of any other views in this thread
I keep hearing about this elusive "owner of a mid-sized plumbing/niche industrial company based in the Midwest, lives next door, looks unassuming but is extremely rich". How do I meet him
I would say they are not typically unassuming lol. Google XYZ skilled trade + your local market geography. If they have more than 30 employees on Linkedin, Whitepage their owner. Odds are it will be a sick house.
Most of them don't live in large cities and don't usually pal around with finance bros
I would describe myself as successful, based on the feedback I receive from my closest friends and family. I am married, have a stable and top 10% paying job for my age, have a large but close group of friends, have great relationships with my family, am in great shape, and spend most of my free time with the love of my life. However, there are other obvious drawbacks, which include;
1. There are a decent number of users on this site one year out of college making all in comp greater than mine, despite the fact that I have been working for >5 years. To those individuals, I applaud you. I have no doubt you are extremely smart and hardworking, and you likely earn the comp and perform a role I couldn't do now, let alone when I was 22. I do not get frustrated that I am out-earned by the PE / IB / HF guys, I look at them more like football players. They are highly skilled and opting to choose a risky career path. I don't care how many people outside of PE say PE is a route that "plays it safe", personally I see a lot of risk, sweat, and discipline required to succeed there, so I wouldn't call it "safe" by any means, but everyone has their own definition of risk.
2. I'm actually not that good at my job. I work hard, and way more than you would expect. Corp Dev for me never has been and never will be some 40 hour a week "phone it in type role". My average hours per week are probably 55-60, which I realize is good by most standards, but surely doesn't put me in 9-5 territory. I also work a fair amount and as I said, wouldn't consider myself a top bucket performer. I am surpassed by those who prioritize work over family, which I wont do. I will push back. I am not going to miss my wife's birthday for some URGENT diligence call. I won't get the top bucket bonus most years, wont be first in line for a promote, and will never be the guy who appears to have the best work ethic, as I prioritize other things.
3. I also usually feel like I am dropping the ball somewhere. Balancing a lot of priorities is tough, and the only way I do it is by focusing on the most important areas of my life each week. When work and relationships take priority, exercise plummets. When exercise and work take priority, my relationships don't get the attention they deserve.
4. Most importantly, I don't really feel successful. Most of the time, I feel like I am just holding everything together by a thread, and as I mentioned in #3, am coming up short in some areas of my life. However, having a strong relationship is what makes me feel successful no matter how poorly every other area of my life is going, which happens. If you take away one thing from my comment, do not underestimate the value of choosing the right life partner, it will be the biggest and most important decision you make.
You're just living the dream bro....
Its funny, it doesn't feel that way, but I am trying to find more gratitude each day, and comments like yours are a good reminder that I should be grateful for what I have. Hope all is going well on your end Isaiah
Feel you on #3 and #4 -- coming down from 6 weeks of 5ams just trying to keep everything afloat.
I'm sorry man, hope it improves soon. Not sure how you do the 5 AM nights, I struggle working later than 1-2 AM, and even then, I typically WFH the next day. I feel you though, based on current ongoing deals I would expect to work the majority of LDW...
In 10 years, I will be free.
Where do you plan to be living?
SoCal or NYC
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