What the @#$%&! Did You Say?!

Something' s been on my mind for a good long while, now. Having spent a good deal of my life on the road, seeing some first-class dumps and surviving the kind of places I wouldn't wish for my worst enemy to visit, I often wonder what has the Western world's panties all in a bunch?

Everybody is so mad lately. The rich are mad. The poor are mad. The left is mad. The right is mad. The owners are mad. The players are mad. Which begs the question many of you ask on a daily basis...

You MAAAAD?!

Well, I'm not mad. Not one little bit. In fact, I am a pretty happy little camper. But then again, that has nothing to do with my actual mood, my successes or my failures. I am not mad for one simple, scientifically proven reason.

I curse like a motherfucker... motherfuckers.

My vindication is now complete. I have been telling you pussy ass, dickless pieces of shit for fucking days, fucked months and head-to-toe-ass fuck-a-doodle-doing years: cursing is the shit.

Now, much like global warming I can prove it! You know why? Because some fucking scientist said it.

Read it and weep, you politically correct cock suckers.

Dr. Richard Stephens:

Swearing has been around for centuries and is an almost universal human linguistic phenomenon. It taps into emotional brain centres and appears to arise in the right brain, whereas most language production occurs in the left cerebral hemisphere of the brain. Our research shows one potential reason why swearing developed and why it persists.

That's right, he said centres, you know why? Because that means smart, in the Queen's English, you bastards.

Smart like a government issued case study.

Smart like never having a job, but rocking six PhD's like Billy the Kid.

Smart like rocking out with your cock out at a lipstick promotion.

It's a motherfucking celebration bitches. Cursing is good. Cursing is right. Tell your boss to suck your DCF and then come up with an ingenious acronym breakdown for it.

YES!!! FTW!!!

Seriously though...chill the fuck out.

Everybody is so damn serious. Years of gangsta rap, organized crime glorifying television and a nanny state that protects us all from the ass whippings we all should have been getting on a daily basis growing have us all thinking we are some sort of fucking tough guys.

Somebody looks at us funny, we call Gloria Allred and the ACLU.

We are all a bunch of cream puffs, myself included.

Let's get tough and make our own lives more enjoyable.

By cursing the living shit out of those around us, we provide them the freedom to hairy ass worship, fecal freaky foot cheese devour themselves into a state of calm which will actually enhance productivity.

The productivity which will lead to more cheddar making every thing better for every bed wetter.

So throw the butthurt shifter in park and step down on the verbal venom gas pedal.

Here is your official thread to curse me, him, her, them and us all the motherfuck out.

Here's your chance...

Make the world a better place...

Bitch!