WSO Caption Contest - April 25th... Collect Silver Bananas and Win a Free Wall Street Oasis T-Shirt

I read on a forum somewhere that buying you a diamond ring is a bad investment... If it's on the internet, it's definitely true.

You dropped this.

I need an answer, my pants are ripping.

If you tape this to your shirt, I guarantee it will still look pretty good on facebook.

As an SAC Capital employee, Jerry wasn't the only one that had to suffer come bonus time this year...

Not my quote, but it makes me think of Liar Liar - "Greta please, don't leave! I'm on my knees in a $900 suit!"

"Opposites attract..just look at our noses"

edit: Erin Callan is already married..

She: "Is this some kind of a sick joke? Come back again when you have 0 student loan debt and at least 3-months-salary-ring."

I wouldn't want to marry a girl which desires a piece of paper with no intrinsic value controlled by a pulp monopoly

Baby, how about a claim on my future cash flows instead? I am an appreciating asset!

"My ex-wife got the house, cars, and liquid assets when she found out my receptionist was pregnant. All I got was this sheet of paper. Marry me?"

"Somebody's been spending too much time on WSO..."

"Look at that subtle off-white coloring, the tasteful thickness of it... Oh my God, it even has a watermark."

You spent 26,000 dollars on sides!

I want to make sure I have a healthy margin of safety with this endeavor. If you say yes, I'll amortize your ring over the first 5 years at a great interest rate with no prepayment penalty.

Even with the paper, this investment still has a negative NPV.

This is the only time I will ever be knees. You however...

"Yeah I told the intern to give it to her for me."

Woman: "You spent $260 grand for two days in Vegas?!"

Man: "Woops, wrong side."

My industry is all about exploiting inefficiencies. Time is money. Here's the deed to the house. Since you read "Eat, Pray, Love" --- I know it's only a matter of time until you and your personal trainer will be living in it.

"You ain't got two jobs! I'm a strong, independent white woman that don't need no man."

Boss: Stop trying to find ways to get out of reading the Dodd-Frank reform act!

"After I saw what Legal billed me for drafting this up, I couldn't afford to buy you a ring"

What ever you do, you're not allowed to call her "Bossy".

"I'm only on my knee because I just got my shoes shined"

After turning the "deck" five times in 24 hours, Brad was finally going to make a successful pitch.

He is the prospectus for the terms of our relationship on a going forward basis, if you need to circle back with a decion later that's fine.

"The craigslist ad didn't work! So I figured that after calculating your valuation I would take the plunge....by the way a diamond ring is so 90's."

"I promise, it's noncallable, baby..."

She always felt like their relationship was nothing more than paper gains.

Wall Street's newest form of AAA rated MBS insured by AIG.

"Alright, sell me that piece of paper..."

Bill and Hillary Clinton circa 1975

If she says "yes" to the question on the front, is she also now liable for the terms of the pre-nup on the back?

Some people will do anything to get out of an all-nighter.

I'm giving you this sheet of paper in lieu of a diamond ring because WSO said so.

Her Response: "I don't trade futures"

"Valeant Pharmaceuticals: Will you marry me? Allergan, Inc.: I'm a trophy wife. You're going to need more money than that if you even want me to consider."

Because you dad is rich

honey, if you could just sign this merger proposal

What woman tells a man on a first date that they don’t believe in premartial sex? This should do the trick…

Please also be sure to sign pages 2 "pre-nup" and 3 "mistress clause"

Woman: "Well, you didn't make it to the buyside.... Nope!"

Lady to @northsider: I appreciate the uncharacteristically short note this time, but, no.