Friday morning update: Mod Note (Andy) and the winner is @Kman062890!
Winning caption:
"I hope those bananas you're collecting will cover our margin requirements"
We have a fun new contest each week to let our funniest members win a free WSO T shirt with their witty inner genius. All you have to do is leave a comment in this post with a caption you think is most fitting for the cartoon posted below. The winner will be determined by the community based on the number of Silver Bananas awarded to each comment. In the event of a tie, the admins of the site will decide the winner or send out multiple free shirts if we can't decide. Wall Street jokes welcomed and encouraged!
Rules: caption must be posted before 11:59pm ET Nov 14thn, winner will be announced Friday morning
"If the number of people trying to sign up keeps falling at this rate the healthcare.gov might actual be functional in a few months..."
"Pump and dump was a success boss, using my eight WSO troll accounts."
Check out this graph of UBS prestige level over time.
"I didn't realize you went with Morgan Stanley for the IPO, Pat" - @AndyLouis
"Sorry BOSS, not sure whether we should be bullish or bearish on Twitter, since it's taking a BIG DIP a couple of days after IPO; let me ask my fellow monkeys for counsel! Oops, looks like I accidentally shared this screen with the whole bullpen."
Boss: I hope you don't have too many plans for tonight... Analyst: Oh yeah I do, Models and Bottles! Boss: what?!?! Analyst: Uh... I mean Red Bull and DCFs.
from FB: "Well at least my Model S still works..."
Is that a translucent grey-ish 'joystick' on the table?
you don't use a joystick with your bloomberg terminals? what decade you in?
Unfortunately, the WSO IPO did not go as @AndyLouis had planned.
yeah wtf
That must definitely be the blackberry stock price!
Based on the picture, I believe the appropriate caption would be:
"The graph above represents our performance, which is a result of constantly being on WSO." Maybe not funny, but I think it makes the most sense and fits best with the cartoon. Thank you for considering my entry. I look forward to receiving my prize.
1: Heard about the taper? 2: Already shorting everything as we speak.
"Hey boss, according to all of these WSO threads, your shirt is the wrong color blue, sorry...your Fantex just tanked"
Fed trader (in the future): "everybody would be so mad if they knew that the markets are actually tanking because of how much time I spend on WSO, and not because of tapering."
Well I'll be damned if it isn't Bill Ackman's 2013 P&L
"Do not be afraid, boss! Checking new posts on WSO. Nobody knows yet!" or "Prices can wait, boss! Need to post a caption in new WSO contest!"
Nervous laugh sorry boss, forgot to Alt+Tab.
"..and THAT.... is why Allen Edmonds are the best shoes for banking. Come back after lunch and we'll talk about why that bold-stripe shirt of yours calls for a discreetly colored suit and tie."
"Our exposure to this is catastrophic... I don't see how any of us are going to keep our jobs... Do you realize wha--" "--Sorry, can this wait? I'm trying to get advice on what type of shoe trees I should get for my Allen Edmonds."
"Guy in blue shirt: Until yesterday, Jack Dorsey was a billionaire... Guy in white shirt: Well not anymore."
"Clearly WSO is a bigger deal on Wall Street than making money is."
"An anonymous person on the internet was wrong. That's why I didn't sell, and why our portfolio is now worth monkey s***."
Practice makes perfect. Keep trying while Main st. is still paying.
The London Whale is moving.
"Priorities"
"See, bro? I told you! Bankerella looks terrible naked!"
Please tell me that isn't a chart of our projected revenues for this quarter...
Nah, we are killing it, bro. That's the cumulative wealth of the middle class.
"I hope those bananas you're collecting will cover our margin requirements"
"So... I take it that employee of the month award is out of the question?"
-"Son, you're fired!"
"No no, I had CDSs on our holdings, and if the insurance company cannot pay them back the government will be paying them back."
"Son, do you like cigars? I think it's time we talk about a promotion."
Don't worry. Ctrl + Alt + down arrow will fix this
'Boss, those are your chances of getting laid after you get a wig.....'
"dont worry boss, all we have to do is turn the chart sideways, i saw some other monkeys doing it...."
//
Can you spot six errors in this diagram?
Solution: 1. Unrealistic depiction of elbow room 2. Inefficient monitor arrangement 3. Desk too clean (sign of an empty mind) 4. Chair is naked (lacks suit jacket) 5. Man trapped between wall and desk 6. The carpet
"Miley's performance must have really stirred the markets"
"Just buy the fucking dip before the Ben Bernank..."
"Can you bring WSO up on the big screen? These little ones are hard to read."
You've been COLLECTING monkey sh*t?! The firm was almost human yesterday!
Bob: "You see, what I'm actually trying to do here is, I'm trying to get a feel for how people spend their day at work...so, if you would, would you walk me through a typical day for you?"
Preet Bharara's 401k Managers Rich: You know who I think can fix a clusterfuck like this? Jeff: Who? Rich: Future Jeff and Future Rich. Jeff: Good call, we'll let those guys handle it. Let's rank investment banks on WSO.
"Buy the dip...if you don't, you're an idiot."
Analyst: Oh God I am going to lose my job. I can literally feel my testicles shrinking & swinging like a broken yo-yo.
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