Do I have any serious chance at front office anywhere?

I don't even know where to start, but I'll tug at the thread that really stuck out to me: when you say PA, are you referring to trying to become physicians assistant?

100% doom and gloom.

Dude, get a grip. Plenty of F500 rotational programs, banks hiring credit analysts, MM and Boutique IBs that would hire you if you know your shit, etc. And PWM at a big bank is a great gig also.

Stop being so negative. Go to the career services or a friend who is in banking and get some honest feedback. You might be your own worst enemy.

This post makes me want to jump off a ledge it's so depressing.

I agree with TNA, you need to get a grip. You need to figure out what you want to do and make a compelling case as to why you want to do it. That being said, just try to get anything relevant to get some experience and figure out what you're good at on the job. Try hustling. It sounds to me like you don't even know what you want to do other than 'front office finance', whatever that means. Your negative attitude is going to show through when you network and interview you, so I would focus on improving that. I mean, you're focused on your looks as a guy? Nobody really gives a shit as long as your clothes fit. It's not like you're interviewing to be a female news reporter where looks actually matter.

Dude, I think I see why you're having the issues. You want to be in IB and don't understand what someone analysing credit might do or what someone does at say GE.

Also, stuff that six figures shit. Get a job and work hard and you'll make money. You better right the ship because this crap isn't going to land you a job at Baskin Robins let alone investment banking.

You sound like somebody I would really want to punch in the face.

If you think you can't make a great living in PWM then you really don't know what you are doing. Read the forums here and do some additional research.

You have this combination of below average qualifications, ignorance regarding most things finance, and then a sense of superiority/entitlement with respect to the jobs and information you deserve from others. You need to work harder and change your attitude, otherwise you will continue to struggle. Take the time to learn more about the different fields within finance, find something you could be passionate about, learn the details of that discipline, and then network aggressively. Once you have a better grasp on things it should be easier to convey your interest enthusiastically.

You can definitely live a solid life in a long term ops career at a bank, especially outside NYC. All I have to add - rest has already been covered. Your flip flopping about jobs and mentioning becoming a PA illustrates you don't really know what you want to do - figure it out and find a way to make it happen.

Here are probably one thousand threads about networking on WSO alone. Try any of the techniques that others have mentioned. It's really not complicated, it just requires action.

With your resume? Probably.

With your attitude? Absolutely not.

You need to grow a pair and stop feeling sorry for yourself.

I reread this whole thread again and have one thing to say to the OP:

10/10

This was trolling done well. You had me fooled, but the little bit over the top comments, fatalism, inability to recognize your own flaws, comparing your looks to Brad Pitt, and the desire to become a male nurse was a well tied together troll job. A+

+1

This is the type of thread that keeps me entertained while waiting for people to get off the plane after we've landed.

Not sure if master troll or not. Seriously, what are you looking for people to say? You don't even have an offer yet but you look down on Ops and PWM...

Below average is being unemployed. Average is getting offers. Above average is getting your dream offer.

JohnBrohanHonestly, I'm not even going to bother with back office stuff like private wealth management, aka telemarketing sales because cold-calling people hoping they pick up is almost as good as rolling a dice at a craps table. Not to mention zero job security and the lack of ability to get another job if I fail at another "get lucky" job. Ops doesn't add any serious "skills" you can take elsewhere if you're laid off, especially as things get more automated. I'm not exactly 22 anymore. Also, with Ops and PWM, it seems very hard to truly "make a living" ie, move out on your own, get married and start a family, buy a house, and save to send those kids to college. I'm not looking to live with or off mom and dad forever.

JohnBrohanAnd serious tho, why is 3.4 a standard for MSF students, when any idiot knows the curriculum is faster paced, more condensed, and more quant than bachelors or MBA programs where kids get more time to retain/learn, take fluff "core requirement" courses like English, history, or with MBAs marketing/strategy (not quantitative)?

Anyways. You have your head pretty far up your ass, so maybe work on that first.

You gotta be shittin me with this

Brohan : how many people have you contacted about a job since you started this thread?

DickFuld is on point.

I graduated from a MSF program with 3.1 GPA. My undergrad was in politics so obviously not quant. Least coordinated person you'd ever meet so not an athlete. My father is an engineer working in China and my mother is a stay-home housewife so zero born-into connections. My friends tell me I'm a little bit socially awkward and I struggle with self-confidence here and there so not your typical front office type.

This is what I have learnt within the last 6 months. If you hustle, you will get what you want eventually.

Through being a thick-skinned shameless s-o-b, I got a strategy research stint on the trading floor of a big investment bank. Then I got an investment analyst position at a startup hedge fund. Then I managed to find my perfect mentor, who has just raved about me to his friend, a senior MD and CEO at the local office of a top-notch boutique IB looking to hire IB analysts, who now wants to have lunch with me.

Even though I have screwed up tons of times (missed most graduate deadlines AGAIN, literally just made a complete fool of myself at an interview for a position at GS which is essentially my dream job - structured finance + trading, etc.), you pick yourself right back up, learn from why you screwed up, and then keep moving forward.

JohnBrohan, you don't take any job you can get in the front office - that is short-sighted and however much money you will make, there will always be people making more than you because they actually love what they do. I literally cried the first time I walked onto the trading floor; I squealed in the office when I finally managed to find the right algo a CTA was using to buy/sell IRS; I ditched my boyfriend last night to read the live transcript of Draghi announcing QE plans.

I know I might settle for an M&A role if it comes along but I also know that I will keep on working towards becoming a trader and you know what, even though GS might have put a blackmark beside my name after my horrendous interview with them, I am going to reach out to the same people next year begging them for another chance after I have made myself more technically prepared for the role.

It sounds really cliche but finding what makes you tick will completely change the way you see things and approach your jobhunt.

OK so maybe the front office is off limits for now but do I have a shot at middle office? Non-MBB consulting? Or am I just fucked bc I am simply way too old (>25) without any good internship/job experience aside from a chop shop, a low GMAT (many jobs ask for the score)? What kind of career progression is possible from middle office? I'm starting to see that Wall Street seems to be a very image/topical based industry to get into, as in yea there's not much true intellect behind much of the "math" most people do in actual jobs, so the barriers to entry are therefore very superficial and superfluous.

Back office, sorry, nope. I currently go to a semi-target, not a non-target school. Aside from the lack of pay/career & exit ops.

You won't ever have a shot at anything interesting OP. The problem is not your background nor your age. The problem is your attitude. Anything can be taught, except for attitude unfortunately. Good luck buddy, you will very much need it.