Does anyone want to commit suicide?

Hi all I was wondering how many of you are or have been planning to commit suicide? I have been wanting to go for it for the past few years but I get scared when I think about the pain I may experience undergoing the action of hanging yourself or jumping off a building, and the fear of experiencing that pain has been keeping me alive

I hold a lifelong grudge against my parents for giving birth to me and I have been wanting to kill them as well. I never asked to be born; I have always thought that giving birth is the evilest thing one can do in this life because life is essentially suffering; most choose to give birth for the sole ends of enjoying the company that a child may provide and to not die alone, which are ends ultimately enacted towards one's self-interest and not the child's. I look askance at such motivations and wonder why anyone who took into account the prospective level of utility that their future child may experience—should they choose to give birth—would consider bringing that child into this hopeless, pointless, and disgusting world, construed in the sense of the innate nature of man to always act with accord to their self-interest (which I think they should) and the likely disastrous consequences of those interests that may tend toward extremity when they manifest themselves in tangible actions toward an individual, when they are unable to determine with maximal accuracy the things that would provide their child with what their child would derive maximal utility from, and whether they would be in positions capable of providing those things? Though whenever I think about undergoing the action of killing someone I feel uncomfortable and frightened and so that fear has also been putting me off my plans to kill.

I have been trying to understand the point of continuing to live when there is no meaning in this life. If there was a button in front of me that I could press that would allow me to die painlessly, I would.

 

Hey man,

Lost a friend recently to suicide. He was such a great kid, and I'm sure he had a bright future.

Don't do it. You have so much to live for. All your problems are temporary and you will be in a happier place soon. As for the "meaning" of life, you'll figure that out along the way. The meaning of life is doing work you enjoy, hanging out with people you like, and maybe starting a family and building something. This will all happen one day, and you'll have many happy moments on this path.

I don't relate to you completely, but I'm in a tough spot now myself and I'd like to vent.

I'm loaded with course work, strict deadlines, and pressure to get into the right career. Even if all of this works out, I can't help but think "so what?" Great, I got a job at my top choice company, but what now? Just keep working?

Socially, I am completely isolated. I have no friends in college (partly due to lockdowns) and my one friend from high school is the one who I mentioned killed himself. But you know the worst feeling I'm going through? I'm really into this girl and I can't tell if she likes me. Sometimes she gives strong signals, but then every time we get close, something happens and she gets closer with a different guy. I fucking hate her but like her too. It's getting hard for me to focus on my tough coursework. I haven't felt a worse feeling than this... Yeah, I know. I sound like a pussy, a "beta" male or whatever the fuck you want to call it. But fuck it, emotions are emotions and sometimes they consume all your attention no matter how hard you fight.

I'm not suicidal, but I'm trying to put on the happiest face possible. Watch things that make you laugh, try to smile, go talk to some friends who liven your mood. Just try hard to be positive and radiate a glowing attitude and maybe it will all be better. If not, get some help. Talk to a therapist or your friends, whatever works for you. I wish you the best of luck man.

 

The act of suicide is a sign of optimism. Why commit suicide unless you are hopeful they can go away after you kill yourself?

Now take that optimism, and realize you don't have to kill yourself to deal with your problems. There is no purpose for you to live, you have to create your own purpose. There has to be music/hobbies, etc that you would love to learn about. Explore them, explore yourself. 

There have been studies that showed that most suicide survivors realize their problems weren't so bad in the grand scheme of things.

Go see a therapist.

 

NYU has mental health services, please for the love of God seek them out. Your life is valuable. As someone who studied the arts I understand that much of the literature we pour over like Albert Camus can be dystopian and paint a photo of dread over life. But life is not these novels. Many of your feelings are clearly influenced by the media and literature you consume. However, these mediums are meant to prod at our inner thoughts and spark our creative thinking so that WE DON'T allow ourselves and our society to become one of those imaginary places. Your life has meaning, you will find happiness, but if you give up now you will never get that chance. “Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.”– Desmond Tutu.

 
Controversial

Nah bro don’t do it. There’s so much more money to make, more places you could go, and most importantly more bitches to fuck. You are here to get into finance bro. We are prestige whores, not suicidal dorks.

 

Do any form of therapy, sounds like you really need it. At the easiest level you could start journaling. Write ten positive things about yourself, ten things you’re looking forward to, ten people you admire or care about etc. Give it a week or so and if you still feel horrible get set up to speak with a professional. I’ve struggled with similar problems before and it’s 100% possible to persevere and recover that meaning in your life. Take advantage of any support systems around you. Parents, friends, classmates, college psych centers whatever you have available.

 

Please do not do it. You are loved by more people than you realize. I know the pain you are dealing with is unbearable, but there is hope and treatments and love openly available to you and a fuller life than before on the other side of this trial.

Below is the National Suicide Helpline. Please call them before you attempt suicide.

1-800-273-8255 (Lifeline (suicidepreventionlifeline.org))

Below is the premier book about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. The most effect treatment for depression and anxiety that is also pill free and only $20.

Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety: David D. Burns: 9781683732884: Amazon.com: Books

 

Your lack of meaning in life is because maybe you're not living life. Did you travel, met girls, had hobbies, played team sports, had good conversations with others, etc.? From what you say, you seem to have serious antisocial behaviors and some psycho vibes. If you want to find some companions in your "worries", read Camus, Sartre, Nietzcshe, Cioran, etc. and there you may have some answers to why someone should live.

But anyway, in my view suicide is for softies as you can't bear something which others can bear. Having suicidal thoughts doesn't make you more special nor intellectual than others for realizing the truth of life, it's the contrary, you get so much absorbed in yourself that you start to decay as a human being because you cannot accept your nature and embrace it. Usually, there are thousands of suicides around the world daily so if hungry children in Africa can bear their suffering and you not, you're just too comfortable with life.

Go touch some grass because life is something which is ought to be experienced, not understood.

 

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Life is a road... and I love creating potholes
 

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