Advice Needed: Reneging 2 Months Before Start
Current 2nd year analyst. Landed an offer about a year ago at a mid-sized PE firm in a sector I currently cover, but in a city where I don’t have many ties. At the time, I accepted because it felt like an appropriate (but not exciting) next step relative to where I was in my career.
Fast forward to now: I’ve continued recruiting selectively and just received an offer from a much larger, more established firm in my current city, also in a sector I already spend a lot of time on. On paper, it feels like the clearly better opportunity. The challenge is I’m supposed to relocate and start at the first firm in July.
Both processes involved different headhunters. My question is: how should I handle informing the original firm that I’ll be reneging while minimizing the risk of jeopardizing the new offer / fucking myself too badly?
Not an ideal position to be in, but I think the second opportunity is the right long-term move for my career.
Reneging is always a delicate situation, but based on the most helpful WSO content, here’s how you can approach it strategically while minimizing potential fallout:
1. Be Decisive and Act Quickly
2. Communicate Professionally and Directly
3. Avoid Burning Bridges
“I want to thank you for the opportunity and the time you’ve invested in me. However, after careful consideration, I’ve decided to pursue another opportunity that aligns more closely with my long-term goals.”
4. Prepare for Potential Pushback
5. Protect Your New Offer
6. Understand the Risks
7. Leverage Headhunters
8. Stay Confident
By following these steps, you can navigate this tricky situation with minimal damage and focus on the better opportunity ahead.
Sources: 7 Tips on Reneging, Please help! Renegging on an offer and boss threatening to cancel me, 7 Tips on Reneging, I need your advice
Bump
There’s no scenario where the 1st firm takes it well but at the same time, I doubt anything will happen at all. It’s your life, ultimately. My team had an associate renege last minute, and while it was highly annoying / time consuming to re-interview, unless our partner happened to be good friends with partners at his new firm, nobody is going to go out of their way to bad mouth someone. We didn’t even know the firm he was leaving to until after he started, so it won’t impact you unless you tell them. At the end of the day, I’d rather someone renege before starting vs leaving after we’ve staffed you know PortCos and during active deal after 3 to 6 months. Rip the bandaid off, call directly don’t inform them over email, and don’t look back.
Appreciate the advice. As I think through logistics, is it better to notify HR first at the firm I’m reneging on, or reach out directly to the senior folks on the team I’ve been in touch with over the past year? Assume I’ll need to speak with both, just trying to figure out the right sequencing and tone when breaking the news
Also, slightly separate, but any perspective on how to handle the original headhunter? I assume they won’t be thrilled given the lost placement fee, so curious how you’d approach that conversation
I would let the team know directly first. They will let HR know. And I wouldn’t expect to hear from the HH again, as they will not be happy but it is what it js
Haha reminds me of a situation many years ago that I had.
Renege on the first firm, and take the second. Don't look back. I did something similar, the CEO of this tiny first firm was pissed and he threatened to sue me (Based on what lol). I just ignored him, refused to tell him where I was going, and moved on. I didn't update my LinkedIn for well over a year (just to be ultra safe) with my new firm.
First firm found someone else I'm sure, I was much happier at the second firm and it led ultimately to my current firm where I'm set to make a low-stress ~500k in ~2yrs working 50hrs per week in a low COL city (I'll just say it's T20 by GDP, but not T5). The very decent hours gave me opportunities to date and eventually marry my now wife, and tons of time to do stuff with friends & see family & explore my hobbies
The first job would have limited all of these things. I have 0 regrets. Just make sure, DO NOT TELL THE FIRST FIRM WHERE YOU ARE GOING. They have no right to know, and there is a good chance they try to screw you over. People working these high stress long hour jobs like IB/PE/Law are sad sacks that that operate mentally in a zero sum world where they get their jollies trying to be the 'big man' and screwing over some jr to mid level professionals
Best of luck man
Loved hearing your outcome. May I ask what firm/job you have to be working ~50 hours/week and make $500k cash?
Only important piece of advice no-one's mentioned - do not tell anyone at the old firm or your current bank where you are going. Discretion is your friend, and nobody else is your friend. They will find out when you start, and it is a lot harder to get someone once they've started.
Tell them you had a family issue come up and can no longer relocate. Be apologetic but purposefully vague. Tell no one that you reneged or had an offer at this firm. Do not inform the head hunter, it’s not their business at this point.
When you join your new firm, wait 6-8 months at minimum before you put it on your LinkedIn. If anyone asks, tell them you did offcycle last minute recruiting and managed to lock your current role down in the 11th hour.
I repeat again - do not tell anyone (including peers and friends in the industry) about your reneged role, your new role, or why you had to rerecruit. This is a very very small industry and you never know when you’ll cross paths with people again.
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