Anyone else just clearly the worst in their associate class?
Hey guys, this has caused me immense stress and anxiety recently, and would appreciate any insights if anyone was in the same boat or words of wisdom.
I am one year into PE and it is so abundantly clear I am the worst associate in my class by far and it is not even close.... I've come to realize these other kids are just picking things up so much faster than I am, they are sharper, quicker, and need no baby holding at all (Countless times VP's have had to hop into the deck or model to "save me").
It is weird because from the sound of this, 90% of people (including me lol) would think I am 100% going to be shown the door. However, I received amazing reviews from the partners as I have been doing well playing the game politically and they have been loving me. However, my VP's all definitely think im retarded.
I think a lot of comments will suggest I just need to "level up" and put in more hours after the workday, or weekends, etc. Thing is I can't really be bothered at all. I don't want to do practice models on my one day off a week. I don't want to do additional prep at 2 am. I think just at the end of the day, I am a slow learner and not highly analytical (so finance is just not for me, simply), so I should just collect as many checks + bonuses I can here, not give a fuck, and just pivot to corporate? Any thoughts. Weird post.
Nope, it's just you. GL on the job hunt!
Sometimes the best ability is likeability
You’re probably better than you think you are. Unless your firm has some weird (toxic in my opinion) review and feedback system where your direct supervisors are left out, the VPs probably like you. Regardless of how nice an associate is the partner will care most about my feedback
Well most PE funds are a 2-3 years and out and if you know you don't want to continue PE (or 'high finance') in general I'd probably just cruise and get out. Of course, reputation matters and you don't know where your bosses may end up so don't do a terrible job but as long as you're aware of your strength/weakness thats what is most important.
Go to therapy. I bet your problem is extreme anxiety and imposter syndrome that makes it hard for you to focus, pay attention to details, take instructions, learn, or see the forest from the trees.
That + probably some amount of sleep deprivation / exhaustion. Make a point to quit drinking, sleep as much as you can, eat cleaner.
This job isn’t rocket science but it does reward people who are more unemotional and detached while working and aren’t constantly emotionally exhausted.
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