What’s the latest on Carlyle vs Veritas in terms of performance, prestige, comp, and ability to attract girls? I know Veritas is allegedly up and coming to MF status, but is it not just “still Carlyle” at the end of the day? Like sure you can raise all you want, but if it doesn’t manifest into TRUE prestige does it really matter? Veritas is the better fund performer now apparently tho with superior returns? Veritas also has famous DJ parties and Carlyle only has the LBO get-togethers where one of the VP’s just talks about her favorite models she’s built. I am sure it’s likely 50/50 but which offer would you accept if given an option at one of the two above and your goal is staying in PE for 5-7 years and want to do ZERO sourcing?
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We got ability to attract girls league table before GTA VI
True
This forum is mentally ill in such a unique way sometimes (even in its humor)
No joke: For a brief experimental amount of time, I included on my hinge profile (2 truths and a lie) that I once prank called the CEO of Carlyle (I butt dialed Kewsong's cell). A baddie messaged me saying "isn't that who stole Taylor Swift's music? [middle finger emoji]" and we ended up chatting for a while. Hope that helps.
Lmfao
Veritas seemingly had better returns, comp, stability, and fun parties with girls, but ultimately — I could not pass up the prestige of Carlyle
This is a no brainer pal
Not to take this post too seriously, but in case any insecure college or IB kid is thinking about this kind of thing (we’ve all been there)—
The vast majority of women (even in NYC) aren’t going to be able to tell the difference between a 500M or 20B fund and those that can rlly do not care, and are all just impressed that you’re in “private equity” and can pay for fancy restaurants and late night Ubers home from your place (but like don’t pay for these Ubers lol)
False. I approached a girl at a bar one time and told her I was at Carlyle, and she specifically asked me how I felt about the returns of their latest fund? I reassured her that this is pretty irrelevant at the associate level and I’m specifically in buyout as opposed to credit (or worse, AlpInvest Secondaries) and she didn’t seem to care. She told me unless I promise 3x MOIC in 5-7 years she doesn’t want a drink from me.
Dream girl tbh
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