Does anyone else feel guilty about spending money?
Dude who is very lucky to be at a PE fund at around ~$300k. Grew up with your typical immigrant family where my mom/ dad didn’t have a ton growing up so didn’t like to spend a lot of money.
Consequently, I feel kind of guilty spending money. Specifically, I’ve started to get out of my comfort zone and have started to go clubbing more. Spending $50-$150 (don’t think it’s ever been this high, probably closer to $80-$100 on average ), 1-2x a weekend kind of seems super dumb, especially since I do think I am in a 2 and out program and i imagine it’s quite unlikely that I will have the opportunity to stay on after 2 years and will be forced to leave the industry.
Logically the math still works where I will probably be able to save 100k per year, or at least quite close to it, anns think that the way to think about it is I am a single dude and if I had a GF/ went on more dates (hinge is quite bad where I am), I would probably be spending a similar amount so it’s kind of a reasonable “entertainment” budget. Anyone else kind of feel guilty about money like this? How do you get over it ?
Feeling guilty about spending money, especially when you come from a frugal background, is a common sentiment shared by many in high-paying roles. Based on the most helpful WSO content, here are some insights and strategies to help you navigate this:
Perspective on Spending:
Budgeting for Guilt-Free Spending:
Reframing the Guilt:
Long-Term View:
Practical Tips to Overcome Guilt:
Ultimately, it's about finding a balance that works for you. Enjoying your money responsibly while maintaining a strong savings habit is the key to both financial security and personal fulfillment.
Sources: Can someone help me with budgeting? 170k as a 22 year old is absurd to me., Young and making substantial money...doesn’t feel real?, At where I want to be - Dealing with existential dread?, I cant save money
Bump
Don’t feel so guilty about spending money; you earned it.
However, I will say, I feel the same. Grew up in a military family so my father practically spent no money for the first 20+ years of his career; now he makes quite great money flying for the airlines ($500k-$1M) but still spends almost no money on himself - don’t be like him! Once you cement yourself into the habit of not spending money on yourself, it will stick.
That being said, I live in a LCOL city and will invest like ~60% of my pre-tax income and ~75% of my post-tax income as a 1st year analyst, so I also need to take some of my own advice above.
Simultaneously, while spending SOME money on yourself is totally normal and probably recommended, it is still important to invest so your kids (one day) don’t necessarily have to put themselves through careers with crazy hours if it is not their passion - that’s the real reward at the end of this all!
Make a budget you’re happy with. Include an entertainment budget you’re happy with. Put it aside and spend it guilt free
I hear you man. I grew up in a relatively poor family in Asia - we never went on a vacation or dinners, and I never saw my parents spend any money on themselves. Went to uni outside my hometown, and felt sick to the stomach paying for lunch at restaurants, going for a night out etc. knowing my parents never would do the same for themselves. Spent the three years at uni constantly trying to save every penny, finding deals on food, and living in shitty cheap houses with mold and pests.. It was horrible and I realised it was 100% unnecessary - I had enough money to live better and in the grand scheme of things, anything I saved by avoiding bare minimums was not substantial.
I then got into a masters program in London and moved here (took a loan out). I was stressed that I would go down the same spiral and spend more time worrying about FX rate and costs instead of networking, learning, and building a life here. But somehow, I talked myself out of it - I did the math on how much I could earn if I got a decent job in IB, and the incremental cost between living a shitty life during my studies vs a good one (which puts me in a better place to recruit) suddenly did not seem as big. It also helped that I do not drink, don't like clubbing or fancy things, and don't hang out with pretentious/flashy groups of friends. I still lived mostly off of meal deals ($5 lunch deals at UK supermarkets) and never went on a vacation, but I also went out with friends, ate out now and then, and didn't worry about the odd expense here and there.
I grinded hard and ended up getting into probably the best Analyst program in Europe, saved up about $180k, and am now going to one of the highest paying roles in finance. I know it's expensive to live here, and the political/tax regime is against first-gen high earners, but I also know that I will probably never have to worry about money again as long as I don't fuck things up massively. I don't have obscene tastes, but I buy the fancy bread from the grocery store, pursue sports other hobbies, and travel modestly to nice places - that's luxury enough for me. I have always had a strong sense of what expenses/experiences I find valuable, and what I consider to be mostly modern-society/social media driven signalling which I want no part of ($30 avo toasts, bottle service etc.) - I would suggest you find that line for yourself and stick to it.
Growing up, we went through some very rough times as a family - stuff 99% people in finance (or even the 'social mobility' groups) could never relate to. I am proud I can now provide anything that matters for my parents, take them on nice vacations, and help them relax. I would never say any of this to my friends in London, but feels nice to get it off my chest.
Be grateful, be proud, be ambitious - spend everything you want on anything you like. Life is short, and the world is too beautiful to not see for yourself. Good luck my friend.
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