At where I want to be - Dealing with existential dread?
I've grinded hard and it's paid off.
I'm in my preferred bank, in my preferred group, and in my preferred role. My office politics are good and I have high upwards career trajectory in the future, all my seniors like me.
Still, I feel existential dread. Especially today - I've been feeling extremely lonely, anxious, and unmotivated. I feel like there is nothing really left for me other than just grinding my job. It was fun and exciting when I was grinding in lower tier banks, aiming for the next move. But now that I'm at where I want to be, I feel both bored and empty
Here are some things still on my bucket list; - Travel more - Save up for a really nice car - Save up for a down payment on a next condo purchase
In the present, I still feel like I have no purpose. Things feel so repetitive and mundane. I sometimes struggle to get up out of bed some days. Have you guys ever felt the same way and how did you deal with it?
I’m just going to respond to the part about buying a nice car. There’s a good article in the WSJ titled something like “if you think money can’t buy happiness, you’re spending it wrong”.
Basically explained how when we buy nice “things” (car, TV, clothes) there’s an initial rush of endorphins (dopamine? Idk) as you’re enjoying your fancy new toy but it eventually wears off. That toy is no good for you anymore. You’re left feeling empty, looking for your next high.
When you spend money on experiences (vacation, nice dinners, concert tickets), the memories make you happy for much longer. It’s counter intuitive because people think you’ll have this car for years, and it’ll bring you happiness for all those years. A VIP pass to Bonnaroo is over in a weekend - it’s not supposed to have any use after that. Surely the car will make you happier. But that’s not the case.
Maybe the exception would be if you buy a fancy car and use it to get involved with “car people” and you hang out, go to car shows together, fix up cars together etc.
As I was writing this I tracked the article down. At least I think it’s the right one. Realize this doesn’t answer your question but wanted to comment before you drop 50k on a Mercedes in an attempt to end your existential dread.
https://www.wsj.com/articles/can-money-buy-happiness-heres-what-science…