Midlife Crisis at 25 in PE, freaking out and miserable
Hi all, maybe some of you are sharing / have had similar sentiments.
I am a PE associate 2, coming from IB. I completely hate my job. My team is great, culture is fine, just the nature of the job being so intense and such long hours and having to be 100% correct near damn all the time has drained me out so hard.
Yes the money is great, but I feel like a job should not make me literally DREAD waking up in the morning. A job should not make me feel borderline nauseous just from stress almost daily.
I have been working like 100 hour weeks for the past 3 years of my life, I am so tired. I am just so scared to leave "high finance" (cringe term I know) for good, as it is almost impossible to come back and I will forgo "high" earnings forever, pretty much right? I would love to leave and go corp dev, strategy, etc (it seems like where 90% end up from PE anyway) but am scared to make the jump.
How are you guys doing? Happy-ness wise? Do you guys plan to remain in PE, any thoughts about jumping to corporate? Whats everyone thinking?
Part of it depends on your financial goals. How much does living a flashy life in NYC matter to you? For some people it’s very important and PE is one of the few reliable ways to get that. But if you care more about time with family and friends, you can have a very comfortable life in corp dev with no/minimal stress. No sense working yourself to the bone if the rewards aren’t what keep you happy to begin with.
Great comment - thanks.
In terms of exits, what have you considered? Have you spoke with ex-PE associates in roles you’d consider? What have they told you about their path and decisions?
My advice would be to talk to people in roles you speculate about and then outline pros and cons. Think a lot about their lifestyles.
First off, this is a quarter life crisis. Second, find another gig with better WLB, they’re out there. No amount of money is worth destroying your health and personal life
LBO a chicken farm bud
Time to move on to something with better WLB. This forum makes it seem awful because so many people on here are just college kids who think PE is the only path that exists
There are plenty of jobs where you can make solid money and have your evenings and weekends to yourself. Life is too short to burn yourself out like this. You've put in your time working these hours
Genuine question, what jobs outside of traditional "high finance" IB PE HF actually provide "solid money"? What's your definition of that? Because, frankly I don't think that exists in finance anymore
You’d be surprised by some Corp Dev roles but it’ll take much more time to get there. Run of the mill Corp Dev is a bit underwhelming yes
AM, large cap corp dev, IR etc all provide a path to mid-high six figures while working a much more normal workweek. Agree with the other comment, I see people taking corp dev roles at tiny companies that don't pay and have no exit ops which I personally don't understand
It's a paycut to current comp for sure, but making 150-175k at 25 and working 40-50 hours a week is a pretty decent setup outside of the high finance echo chambers
If you can lateral into corporate banking, your career earning are much higher than corpfin unless you make cfo. Working hours are usually reasonable too, albeit that’s company dependent
Dude just do it for 20 more years until you are dead inside. You’ll stop complaining eventually
That’s a obviously a joke but I would say to most people do an extra 2 years or so
PE is hell from the hours
Corporate is a nice 9 to 5 but it’s also hell from inability to move up.
I think you just ride the train as long as you can
Find a better firm. If you like PE, there are firms out there with much better WLB. I’m going from a MF to a LMM/MM ($1B fund size) that averages ~60 hours per week. You might have to go to a more 2nd/3rd tier city, but there are firms out there like I’m describing.
Was the move to the $1B fund something you targeted or a function of jobs available in this tough market? If targeted? what led you to decide to move to a smaller fund vs a different large cap fund? Asking because I am contemplating a very similar move from a MF to a $500M-$1B fund.
Come to the dark side (Commercial Real Estate)
In banking and kinda envious of my CRE buddies. Cash pay is 100% less but you still retain very solid upside have way better WLB / flexibility, deals aren’t as intellectually draining to underwrite and all of them already do their own smaller deals on the side.
Yes but you have to be around idiots who went to state state technical college. Hard to revert to that.
I'm a few years ahead of you, did the PE grind for ~6 years up through the VP level, was getting progressively more miserable until I felt like I really couldn't take it. Left, actually went to B-School, fumbled around a bit after, and have now settled in to a more entrepreneurial alt PE type of role.
The big question to ask yourself is really what you want out of life. What do you aspire to do/be, what makes you happy. Some just love the prestige, status and money that comes with PE, so much so, that it outweighs any potential misery from the job. Other, realize they've been on the treadmill for long enough and decide to hop off and do something else.
If you're financially stable, don't have huge family obligations, don't want for a new Rolex, or have a high cost life of living (or at least one that you can't unwind pretty quickly), then you can kind of do whatever you want.
If you're competent, there will always be the opportunity make it back into high finance in some shape or form, even more so if you've got good brands on your resume. Once I realized that was the case for me, it felt much easier to leave a job without anything in particular lined up to do some life and career exploration. Will you end up at a MF? Probably not, would some LMM, Secondary, Family Office, etc type of fund bring you on? Probably pretty likely.
One other thing to consider, why not take a vacation? Will it maybe be frowned upon at your firm? Sure, but if you've been there for a year+ already and you're thinking about quitting anyways, what's the worst that can happen? They fire you? Maybe that's what you want to happen anyways. On a live deal? See the deal through and then make sure to carve out the day or two that you're OOO and go sit on a beach somewhere.
It's hard to make decisions when you're absolutely crushed, so I'd fight to get some headspace so you can get some perspective on things. Life is short, I'm all for grinding for a period of time to set yourself up, but if you've been miserable for 3 years and counting, it might be time to move on.
Care to shed more light on what this entrepreneurial alt pe role looks like?
Leading a rollup strategy at a permanent equity vehicle
Another life is possible. I left a horrifically sweaty "prestigious" group and left to a shop maybe a handful of people on this site have heard of. Everything changes, I have time to lift, read, see my wife, my weekends are mine again. All of the partners above me live lives I envy, that was not even close to true before.
You don't have to commit career suicide managing bolt-on processes for a glacial speed PubCo, herding cats getting needed DD input from other functional groups that have collective IQs below most summer interns. Find a small shop of sharp guys in a niche you like and enjoy life while still earning a finance wage.
"herding cats getting needed DD input from other functional groups that have collective IQs below most summer interns." - Dam felt this one hard.
Do NOT go into corp dev or strat. hours can still be brutal during a life deal and you get paid 1/3 and have less stability. Maybe look into allocation or family office.
Have you considered going the MBA route? Two year reset, gives you the ability to explore different paths in a low stakes environment. The ETA path (Entrepreneurship through Acquisition) is also big right now and a lot of people try it post-MBA.
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