Are Ex-PE and Ex-Consulting Professionals Soulless Robots?
I am forced to attend enough networking events for info gathering. I don't have hard data but it just feels like lot of ex-consultants and ex-PE associates (even principals) really don't have strong soft skills nor possess the ability to read between the lines like they're job should require them to.
You can tell if the behavior feels practiced - you get this feeling that they're following some script of some kind and can't really function outside of that.
It's even worse when they don't bother asking someone's name or their interest. Just jump right in to "what do you do?", which is deeply uncomfortable. Directness is generally appreciated but not when someone doesn't bother building a rapport. Even their smiles are misplaced - you can tell when someone is just pretending.
So to the PE and Consulting professionals - is there something deeply wrong about how your industries train people? Or am I just meeting people who exited out because they couldn't climb up or exit up?
What is going on? Love to hear some stories or general observations or whatever - anything goes. I really don't understand the PE and Consulting career trajectories so it's tough for me to grasp why.
Seem more like a you issue
Maybe. I'm pretty sensitive so I might be overreacting. Not to mention these things can be cultural.
I guess the point is there seems to be general lack of charisma and lack of adaptability to different types of people and different situations, which IMO is a foundational skill for people whose job is to meet lots of different types of people.
Generally, it doesn't do anyone good to make people feel uncomfortable unintentionally. It can very well be intentional and strategic, but unfortunately what I'm talking about is when people just can't see outside of what they know and expect others to behave around them.
FWIW, I've met enough people who exited to industries they love and they come off like they're very well adjusted people who practice active listening and show empathy. It just doesn't seem to be the norm.
interesting, thansk for sharing, but what do you do?
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Best,
Your mother's boyfriend
I mean honestly, it's not just PE / consultants. I used to hate getting asked, "what do you do?" until I realized how common it was for any adult to eventually ask this after meeting someone new.
I just think of it as an IQ (and EQ) test.
There are obviously better questions to ask to learn about someone's characters as well as get a glimpse of what they do.
Honestly just surprised, I always thought PE and Consulting professionals would have a leg up on conversational skills but maybe that's a stereotype.
First off, if you're at a networking event, no shit people are going to skip the bullshit small talk and get into it. They don't care about your golf game or home life. They want to be there as little as you do - so why not just get down to business?
Second, the following is a good rule for life and one which you can apply with a little imagination to your scenario. If you meet an asshole on the street, you had back luck. If everyone you meet is an asshole, the problem is you.
Your conclusions are founded based on a handful of datapoints, so the root of your problem is you are using solely your anecdotal experience as a data set to make blanket assumptions about two completely distinct industries.
The fact that you are lumping in PE and Consulting says volumes about how little you have interacted with folks within both industries.
Additionally, your conclusions aren't exactly unique, as there was a thread on something quite similar relating to PE quite recently.
Consultants are generally among the highest EQ folks in business. If they didn't turn on their sparkle for you, they dont care about you. Just because they can, doesn't mean they like to. Former consultant, but the older I get the more introverted I become. Clients would regularly miss me when I rolled off a project despite the fact that I was average to good at best, and cite my personality and positive attitude as a core reason for this. If I were at a networking event, I promise I wouldn't act in the same manner, unless we were looking to build client relationships.
There are also two types of consultants, those hired almost exclusively for their IQ and their SME in a niche field, and those who are generally well rounded, highly personable, hard workers, and relatively smart. The latter is much larger than the former. On the off chance you did meet some of the former, they are generally pretentious, and are smart enough that they dont make an effort with anyone, except they slightly compromise with the client.
Private equity is another world in itself. Even within PE, you have the guys who rely on intellect and reputation (e.g., Apollo) vs. the smooth talkers (Bain Capital, or BDT Partners - folks who work in PE can correct me if this is a bad example, but these were the first funds that came to mind). Juniors in PE are worked to death, so yes they probably arent bending over backwards to engage in meaningful conversation at some networking event (they would almost for sure rather be anywhere else btw). Seniors have grinded for at least two decades to get to where they are today so they have no time to waste on people not worth their time. If they are at a networking event, I am sure it is something their fund asked them to go to, or they are speaking at, so they want to bullshit with their friends, not build their already massive rolodex.
Yeah good points.
Idk where to put the people I met btw well-rounded vs high IQ people. But I don't think it really matters.
Thing is they should just stop inviting me (and others) to their events if they're just going to ask dumb questions and say dumb shit because "that's the job". They (should) know I'm not there to repeat the same shit I say to everyone. And idk why they aren't sick of repeating the same shit the same shitty way they're also probably sick of. Guess I'm more bothered by how ineffective and undifferentiated their work is - it's all the same robotic fake ingenuine BS to me.
Clearly they want something from me. Why can't they at least try to get to know me before they try to get in my pants? It's like they expect buying me (and others) drinks and dinner will make us bend over and open our wallet and share insights for them. They're overpaying on their dates when all it takes it a bit of authenticity.
Wait that dating analogy makes perfect sense.
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