Who Else Hates Management / Board Dinners?
These are night ruiners in my opinion. They last for fucking ever - like three or four hours, which is mostly driven by the old guys hamming it up and ordering more drinks. The meaningless small talk for hours on end is painful and exhausting. As someone who does not like to drink at work events, and is also relatively junior and can’t leave until everyone else does, it’s extremely frustrating - especially when I have to work after. Also the constant stream of shitty food and drinks. Staying up till 2 am every night is bad enough for me as it is, I don’t really want to be slamming alcohol and a 2000 calorie salt bomb dinner on a random Tuesday.
I get this is part of the job, and some people think it’s the best part of the job, but for me it’s one of the worst. I dread these nights.
Just order healthier food and shoot the shit. Its a social job and you can't make your way up without building relationships with the people you work with
Haha this brings back so many memories. I empathize - countless times I have been on these closing dinners and the Managing Partners love to keep things going into the night with unlimited food and wine. The dinner ends at like 12 midnight or 1am oh and by the way, the memo and model is still due tomorrow morning at 10am.
I don't have any advice on this - it's a part of the game and you have to play it. Hopefully, in a few years, you can be the guy or gal leading these dinners and have some other poor soul worrying about work the next day.
But I can't relate to the shitty food part. Might be firm specific but we always took the management teams out to super nice restaurants. At least the food and drinks were worth a night out.
They're indeed a necessary evil in the job (though like to think they're fun sometimes). Few life hacks that I've employed:
Table captain is a great move. And keep the points.
Bro literally no one is forcing you to drink.
Also have a small piece of bread, don't put butter on it. Eat the carpaccio or tartare or similar app or a salad. And for entree order fish. No side. Skip dessert
1000 cals and high protein
Yes and no. I also need to attend client meetings and don't drink (alcohol interferes with meds I take). Usually I'm the only one ordering some non-alcoholic beverage which always feels awkward. I'm also the most junior person attending these so I usually get the strange smiles but never received any comments. This said, I'd prefer to drink alcohol if I could to do so. Overall, I emphatize with OP.
Management dinners were one of the better parts of the job. You get to build relationships with super senior people and actually get insight on stuff, people’s experiences etc while also eating at top of the line restaurants
Terrible take.
Juniors complain about doing work, now they complain about the more interesting bits of the job.
You can't win nowadays with these people....
This is different than the 1-2 closing events you get to attend a year or where you’re managements chaperone at a mgmt dinner and are requested to not say a word
When I have 12 hours of worth of work to do in a day, and have to attend a 4 hour mgmt dinner, all this means is now I have to spend 16 hours of my day working
It's almost like you're in high finance and get paid to do it.....
I get you went to buyside for a better WLB but unless you're at a MF or a very sweaty UMM I doubt as a junior PE guy you're pulling 8am-8pm on the regular.
My only 2 career moves happened because of connections made at management dinners. I understand the sentiment if you have to do work after (that sucks, full stop) but you have to see the forest through the trees on that. It's among the few times you actually somewhat get treated like a real human in this job.
People obsess over networking on this site and they're generally talking about mass-emailing or messaging random bankers in hopes of hook-ups. That's not networking... Networking gets done at dinners like this.
Not looking to change your mind or crush your vent, just offering a different perspective.
in hopes for hook ups? Man, what are you about?
in hopes of getting hooked-up with an interview or recommendation... did not think I'd have to spell it out
Just go do direct lending.
I get where you are coming from, as someone who's cut back heavily on alcohol over the past two years. That said, these dinners are important. If you are drinking alcohol two nights a month, use it on this rather than drinking alcohol at the pub with your friends. As an analyst, they teach you a lot about how to act in front of top management and how to talk to these people. You'll also learn more about the key issues in the business you are working with, which is useful when you get deeper into the process.
As a networking tool, they are also superb. You are rubbing shoulders with several potential employers in, presumably, desirable places. It is immensely more helpful than doing cold emailing, coffee chats, networking calls, or lunches. That alone should be enough motivation to participate in these.
I also have no idea where you are taking your clients, if there's shitty food and drinks. These are, in my experience, always hosted in the chambre separee of a great restaurant. If you are worried about the food being unhealthy, take control of the booking yourself. Steer away from French and opt for Asian/Asian-fusion or Mediterranean.
Honestly it seems that people are complaining about everything these days? I'm not in PE but at MBB and working with tons of PE portcos.
I went to dinner in really remote to exotic places all over Europes with a variety of characters and have to say this is one of the most enjoyable parts of the job. I bonded more in thos 2-3h compared to the 2 months before of the project and got some really deep intel into the organizations.
You seem like a nerd and if you don't enjoy social interactions building a career will be really tough because thats not about how fast you are in excel but rather how good you are with people.
Management dinners are very different in PE than at MBB. Not even remotely comparable. You’re also 100x more drained and sleep deprived going to them in PE than you would be in MBB. You also have far more highly scrutinized, consequential, and stressful work waiting for you afterwards (not just making pretty slides). Oh and most PE partners are absolute awkward intense killjoys so they end up just grilling management all dinner or talking about work.
Agree that some are gruelling, esp. if after long haul/heavy travelling or next to negotiations. I ascribe it to exhaustion, not to the events per se. I have, with almost no exception, great food at fantastic places, interesting and fun conversations, good wine (not big on drinking alcohol) and good memories. But yeah, if thereafter you need to toil, is rough.
My recommendation: try to catch something to eat beforehand, so you are not starving and can be selective. No bread, entree a salad (oil and vinegar, yourself, so no ready mix), main course: vegi or fish and swap the starch for another dose of vegetable. No desert, if still hungry ask for some hard cheese. Loads of water, no coffee at the end, if needed go for an infusion. Keep booze at minimum. Enjoy the conversations, make good connections, follow up with them.
...sounds boring, but you need to take control and enjoy. It is part of the business, and tbh bring the potential for a massive impact on career
Agree with almost all of this but asking for hard cheese for dessert is a crazy move, just deal with the hunger lol
Ha ha, yeah, a bit hard core
Management dinners are pretty crucial because they give everyone a chance to bond outside of the office. It's way easier to chat about ideas and concerns over a meal than in a meeting room. Plus, it helps build trust and camaraderie within the team. Leaders can show their appreciation for the hard work, and it boosts morale. In short, it's about good vibes, good food, and better teamwork.
Most management dinners I went to are awkward as fuck because my partners (UMM) end up just drilling them on random work related things. There’s also the weird power imbalance between the PE fund and the management team, where the management team knows they’re being judged and scrutinized by people who are probably costal elitist pricks. If you talk to your actual portco leaders, I bet they all hate these dinners too. As an associate, it’s palpable how much resentment there is to the fact that they have to pretend to be nice to some 24 year old associate or 29/30 year old VP. There are plenty of egomaniacs in PE who love the feeling of that power imbalance though, so I can see why they’d enjoy these events.
Is there always somewhere I'd rather be than a work dinner? Yes
But do they have utility? Also yes
Just view it as an opportunity to eat good food for free, drink good drinks for free, and talk to / listen to more senior people who are for all intents and purposes where you want to eventually be.
Exercise as much control as you can before, time, place, etc, then just do your best to enjoy the free food, drink and convo. There are worse things in life..
My Hack -- if possible I always get in a solid work out or run that day as it makes me feel less guilty about eating a big juicy steak and having a couple glasses of wine. Also just puts you in a better mood going into it which is pretty valuable.
I mean just about the only thing that would make these dinners frustrating for me is if there are a bunch of white hoods or something like that.
But then again, I don't really say no to "free" food or drink
My cofounder has a similar attitude towards celebration type events, but I don't think it's right because most people DO care about these things. I don't care at all for them either but I know we need to do them because people care. It's important and a big part of how relationships are built.
It's like how it's WAY easier to negotiate in-person. Seriously, your odds go up ~10x. I make everyone fly out for anything critical/big $. My gen and younger do not get how important face time is until they do it a few times and see the results first hand.
If you're unwilling to spend time in-person with people, they will feel like you don't value them.
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