How long does it take to feel comfortable with the people at a new job

I’m a month in at this new job my bosses are great, it seems like the culture is very positive but I feel like I’m people pleasing and I’m coming off fake. This is my first full time in office job and I was wondering if you have any advice/ tips.

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Just be yourself while also maintaining the appropriate professionalism. If you are going to be seeing these people every single day for 8+ hours a day for years, then you'll burn yourself out mentally by always feeling like you have to be someone who is 100% positive and fake. Obviously I'm not saying let negative emotions show and snap at people, but you don't need to always be a people pleaser with a smile on your face. 

Office politics are definitely a thing and I'm not saying don't play the game, but that's more about being liked than being eternally positive and people pleasing. Think about it, you want to be around people who are honest and real with you, so why wouldn't you do the same thing to others? 

 

Six months, give or take, but with remote/hybrid work it's taking a lot longer. You'll start to have some shared war stories with people and it'll get better, but I agree the first few months are a lot of small talk and being nice for being nice's sake. 

 

First job ever - close to other analyst (drinks, etc) after 4 months. We had to do a few 5 hour road trips and would get shitfaced upon arriving at our destination where we would work for a couple weeks. Never connected with others as they were all complete douchebags. Did connect with some of our accountants, again, after getting shitfaced.

Second company took a few months then was super tight with those in my team. New guy joined and we became bros within I’d say 2 months tops.

Third job was tight with team after a few months but still took a couple more to completely flesh it out. Drinks helped tighten the bond with those outside my close team.

I don’t drink much, but getting drinks outside work helps alleviate any tightness. Once you get to know coworkers outside the office and vice versa, you’ll be more open to saying what’s up in the office

 

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