Toxic bosses in CRE
Has anyone here dealt with / is dealing with a toxic boss situation?
Some background about my situation. I’m an associate in my company’s RE acquisition / development team. I’ve worked in a few different companies in the past and this is my first time where I don’t get along with my boss (and the MD as well).
Im debating whether I should look for another job or if I’m the problem and I need to grow a thicker skin. I’m not sure if these behaviors are actually toxic or are commonplace in other work environments and I’m just being too sensitive.
Some examples:
Meeting with my MD to review my financial model, and my MD will question assumptions I’ve made. If he disagrees with any assumptions, he’ll say things like “what were you thinking?” or “how could you not have considered factor XYZ?” Sometimes he’ll ask a question and he’ll just laugh in my face at my response. Not like a slight chuckle, but straight up like a condescending laughter. I’m always open to receiving feedback and updating my work, but the way in which he gives comments feels hostile.
My manager called me out publicly (in meetings with 5-10 people) saying my work product was “garbage” and “unacceptable.” I quickly apologized and said I’d reach out to him and send an updated file with what he’s looking for. I then later looked at my work file again, along with what he initially requested me to do, and the file exactly matched the request. So I reached out to him to see what to update or where the miscommunication was, and I never got a response about it. Again, I’m okay with receiving feedback but not sure why it had to be in a public setting.
I have also never once been thanked or been given any compliments about my work product, which really sucks when I put a lot of time into my models and deal with their integrations and at least being given some recognition every once in a while would go a long way in keeping me motivated.
Sorry if this turned into a mini-rant, but I’m just trying to see if these sorts of behaviors are common in your workplace and if I just need to be less sensitive. It’s starting to affect my motivation to work and I’ve also been feeling anxiety to go into meetings because I know I’ll likely be criticized in a hostile way. At this point I’m surprised I haven’t been fired but if I did get fired, I don’t think I would even be that upset as it would help my mental state a lot.
Any advice or thoughts would be super helpful. Thanks in advance!
Leave if you can get a better or similar offer and it would help your resume or keep it neutral. Don't bad mouth the supervisor or the company here or on Glassdoor or to others in the industry, your co-workers will know what happened by reading between the lines (these types struggle to keep associates and analysts). This is not IB or PE, they are probably not paying you nearly enough to tolerate this behavior. Smile during your exit interview and don't look back. You owe them nothing.
Sounds like my previous employer. “Idk if we can trust these numbers” = we don’t like the numbers and are screwed because we’re 2 years into a development deal that was originally U/W at 2020 pricing. Should do some sanity checks with other analyst/associates at your firm (if there are any) to see if they’ve gotten similar feedback, if so it’s a culture thing. If not, then it’s likely your work product or for some reason they have a bone to pick with you. Either way, both could be good enough reasons to run and find something better. That’s what I did and am in a much better situation now. In 2 weeks I’ve gotten more praise on my work product then I did in 2 years at my previous firm.
Life is too short to work with scumbags. I'd be looking for a new job if I were you
When I was more junior I had a couple bosses who treated me and my colleagues like this; too much of it and it messes with your head.
I’d strongly recommend looking externally for new roles. This behavior isn’t normal or acceptable and you shouldn’t be expected to tolerate it.
OP here. This was my first post in the forums although I have been reading / following other threads for a while now. I’m blown away by the positivity and support of everyone who took the time to respond to my thread! Thank you all so much, it really means a lot and is helpful during this difficult time for me. I’ll definitely keep you all updated on my search.
I’m glad to hear that this behavior is not commonplace and I’m not crazy. I feel a lot more positive and generally better about myself after reading all your replies.
I always marvel at how the management level in my firm (large/ vertically integrated) is populated by people with subpar people skills. It’s almost like being socially maladjusted is a requirement to be a supervisor.
I agree, seems that you need to be psychologically deranged to make it to the top. Certainly worth exploring in a PhD study.