Cover letter review - Second opinion?

Recently posted a cover letter here and it got reviewed, one of the members kindly re-wrote the whole thing made it look better. so i changed it ever slightly and am presenting it here for you guys to review it for a second opinion. Guidance on improvement will be much appreciated.

Dear Recruiter,

I am an undergraduate at [target university] studying [engineering] and would like to apply for the Fixed Income Sales & Trading summer internship program at [Company]. I became very interested in the position after speaking to [employee] a [position within company] who spoke highly of your results-driven culture and the recent transformation in your Fixed Income portfolio, which has motivated me to join your firm.

I am primarily interested in trading, which I believe is a better fit given my preference for working in competitive and high-pressure environments. I learned to deliver results in these very environments while working as an Analyst at [company], where I also honed my analytical and quantitative skills. For example, one of the projects I undertook was an analysis of complex financial data in order to forecast [country’s] domestic Oil and Gas demand, the results of which helped increase oil production by 10%.

I have been an avid follower of the currency markets, and am deeply interested in macro news and geopolitical events. Hence, I believe the FX desk will be a particularly good fit for me within the FICC space. I am also open to rotating on other macro product desks, such as Rates, Emerging Markets, and Commodities. In addition, I believe my quantitative background in Engineering will be useful in an options or derivative product.

While I am primarily interested in trading, I believe I have the necessary skills to succeed in other roles as well. For instance, I regularly advised clients on a wide variety of products as a Sales Associate for [retailer], efforts which contributed to a 20% increase in sales. In this evolving regulatory environment where the industry is shifting to more client-focused activity, I believe that my ability to quickly digest product knowledge as well as my interpersonal sales skills will also enable me to provide differentiated service to clients, and thus contribute to [company] in different roles according to the firm’s needs.

Thank you for your kind consideration and I look forward to an opportunity for an interview with you soon.
Yours Faithfully
[name]