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Two things: -There is a section on WSO were resumes are to be reviewed, it is fast and efficient and very helpful -High school activities don't matter
This isn't meant to be an exhaustive critique of your resume, but I think it should give you a good start.
Your bullet points on your second work entry are too long and way too wordy. You're combining what should be multiple separate bullets into one, and I still have no idea what you're really saying.
One your first work entry pick two or three of your selected engagements, the ones where you did the most work or could speak to from the heart the most, and expand on what specifically you did that made a legitimate contribution to the project. Eliminate the rest.
Eliminating all that wordiness will probably create a lot of white space at the bottom, so think about ways you could flesh out your education section. Did you have any relevant internships that could be added to your professional experience?
Eliminate the "high school" bit about golf. Just say you're an avid golfer now.
Do you speak any languages besides English? Do you participate in any activity at all besides First Tee? Your bottom section makes you seem like a rather boring person.
It's a good albeit boring resume. I agree with the sentiment on it being too wordy.
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