Roast my Resume | Pursuing IB | Be as mean as possible
I'm preparing for this upcoming recruitment season for 2026 SA positions (aiming to break into BB's or EB's). Please let me know how I can improve this resume. Coming from a non-target, I need it to be perfect. Thanks.
Just skimmed for now, but:
1. Where's your GPA?
2. Why do you have 3 bullet points each for two internships that you haven't even started yet?
3. DCF and comps are no where near "advanced financial tools" just say valuation methods. And how tf do you "anticipate" top placement.
Great points. My answers:
1. GPA is 3.3 (pretty low so I took it off)
2. For my upcoming internships, do you suggest minimizing the bullet points to two, or down to one?
3. I'll change it to valuation methods.
First, manage your expectations. Non-target AND low GPA = EBs are out of the picture, no question.
Some BBs might be doable if networked extensively but still too low of a GPA for non-target. Idk if you're diversity and how much of a leeway it has. Also, if I don't see GPA on a resume, I assume the worst, here I assumed 3 or less.
If you are serious about IB you need to diversify into MMs and regional boutiques. You can always lateral later if you perform well.
And for the bullets, I know timelines are ridiculous but I'd just put one point with what department it is. 3 bullet points on an internship that hasn't commenced just looks disingenuous.
On top of above, inconsistencies in use of periods in bullets, incorrect use of semi-colon, no awards or scholarships or any merit-based indications.
If it's a non-target resume, things better be spotless. It's not a strong resume at all.
Gotta be more realistic.
Then would it make the most sense to go with the Microsoft FT offer => get an MBA at an M7 or any target universities => then recruit for IB?
Most realistic option given grades and market. Know a now JPM MD with a 2.9 GPA in UG -> 5-6 years of a "deadend job" -> target MBA -> JPM. So MBA opens a lot more doors.
Second option if you want IB rn, you gotta up your GPA this semester to at least a 3.5-3.6 cumulative and network with MMs and LMMs (any IB experience counts over non-IB experience during FT/lateral) and not just BBs. Another thing is you don't wanna appear for calls and interviews under prepared or under polished and leave a bad first impression. Because you'll ruin your chances for FT recruiting with the bad first impression even if you get your GPA, internship, and other ECs up.
So shoot for MMs (don't fall for the prestige trap), gain a return, and recruit FT for BB/EB by making sure your grades and preparedness improve.
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