Being an Associate in IB is Paradise
The moment I step into the office at 10:13 AM, I feel the weight of two years at business school and $200K in tuition, all leading up to this moment. The analysts look up briefly, sizing me up. I know what they’re thinking:
“Will this guy actually help, or is he just here to forward emails and ask obvious questions?”
By 10:30 AM, I’ve already checked out. My most important contribution so far? Changing my teams status to “In a Meeting” while I sip my oat milk latte and scroll LinkedIn. The post-MBA glow is still strong, and I’m milking it for as long as I can.
At 12:30 PM, an analyst Teams me:
“Hey, should we start putting together pages for the CIM?”
Classic rookie mistake. I don’t make CIMs. I review CIMs.
“Great idea. Loop me in once you have a draft,” I reply, locking in another 4-5 hours of doing absolutely nothing.
By 3:00 PM, I’ve masterfully dodged all real work. My secret? Asking just enough questions on calls to make it seem like I’m engaged, but not so many that I actually end up responsible for something. My go-to phrases:
• “Let’s circle back on this later.”
• “Can we take a step back and think about the bigger picture?”
• “Let’s sanity check that.”
None of these mean anything. That’s the beauty of it.
At 6:00 PM, the VP calls. This is where I earn my salary.
“Where are we on the deck?”
I quickly tab over to Teams.
“Let me check in with the team.”
Translation: I have no idea. I haven’t looked at it all day. But now the analysts are on notice, and that’s what matters.
By 8:30 PM, the deck is in my inbox. The analysts have already double-checked everything, but I still need to leave my mark. I make a few low-value, high-effort comments like:
• “Align text boxes on slide 7.”
• “Can we bold this number?”
• “Should we add a page on industry trends?” (knowing full well we don’t need it, but now someone else has an extra 2 hours of work).
At 10:45 PM, I send it back to the team, making sure to include just enough changes to prove I exist, but not enough to meaningfully contribute.
By 1:00 AM, the analysts are still grinding. I’ve already told them, “Great work everyone, I’ll be on later if needed,”and then proceeded to do absolutely nothing. I won’t be logging back on.
At 3:00 AM, I get a Teams message: “Do you want to take a final look?”
I let it sit unread for 30 minutes so they assume I’m “busy.” Then I respond:
“Looks good on my end, send it out.”
At 3:30 AM, I close my laptop, knowing I have successfully delegated my way through another day.
I’m not here to build models. I’m here to sign off on them. And that, my friends, is the true MBA Associate experience.
Being an MBA Associate in IB is Paradise
Too real
This is great. A few associates in my group are like this to a tee
real af
.
MBA associates are the worst. Had the chance to interact with a couple over the summer (from a "target" school) and it's unclear how they managed to get a job. HR probably pushed for them to fill a diversity quota
Are you implying they were bad because they were MBas or bad because they were diversity?
Diversity I guess (Asian beckies). I found our non-DEI (ie straight white guys) quite hardworking and relatively humble, they also seem to have come from a less privileged background so that might had to do with it
Slack in IB?
Everyone uses Slack!!!!!!!!!! The best
You're not in IB, are you?
Can definitely relate to this :). I'm at a top BB and the MBA associates hired are a complete joke, including those who come from strong programs (Wharton, Columbia, Booth)
important to clarify the distinction that
this is a day in the life as an MBA Aso, as compared to an A2A who is getting absolutely grinded bc theyre having to add real shareholder value and play up and down across their deal teams
I honestly can't tell if you're being facetious about junior bankers of any kind "adding shareholder value."
This is spot on
In my experience, except for the most exceptional analysts, two analysts making a CIM on their own would be like a pack of angry chimpanzees trying to learn the Fermi paradox. The deck the associate gets at 8:30pm would be an abomination - they might be better off with no draft at all because the VP might see what they did and freak out
MBA associates are useless but this is propaganda lol
Banks should stop hiring MBAs. They perform worse and usually get layed off before VP
Ye lmao the ASO or VP need to at least get a shell with instructions on each slide. No way they literally just ask the AN to put together the CIM all by himself
yeah receipe for disaster. have seen that happen first hand
The biggest freeloaders on teams are DEI Associates, usually Beckies and having an MBA or not doesn’t really affect their work ethic. After that, it is always the A2A direct promotes who stop opening the model from AS2 onwards. In my 10 years, never seen analysts put together CIM on their own as a first cut. It’s Associate / VP pulling the shell and the analysts cranking out the pages. This post is propaganda from frustrated A2A
In your opinion, how does the MBA program make these associates in some areas better than the analysts? Is it attributed to the program or maturity? Excluding all the DEI Beckies.
It's standard format to re-state "X is paradise" at the bottom of a paradise post. Please fix -- or better yet, get an analyst to do it.
Please find updated v2 above. The analyst is eager to help update the above with any additional comments.
MBA associate awake at 3am??
Analysts reading this rn
Now here’s a guy who glides into the office at 10:13 AM, rocking a fresh MBA like a rookie quarterback with a bloated signing bonus. By 10:30, he’s already on the bench, Teams status set to “In a Meeting,” sipping oat milk lattes while the analysts do all the actual heavy lifting.
“Should we start on the CIM?” an analyst asks. He fires back his signature audible: “Great idea, loop me in once you have a draft.” Translation: You run the whole drive, and I’ll be in the end zone for the high-five.
Come 6 PM, the VP asks for a status update, and our hero just nods confidently, totally clueless. By 8:30, the deck hits his inbox, and he calls the final plays: bold this number, move that text box, adding a useless “industry trends” page so everyone stays up ‘til 3 AM.
At 3:30, he finally signs off with a breezy, “Looks good, send it out,” nailing the game-winning field goal after the team did all the blocking. Folks, that’s the MBA Associate experience: no sweat, all glory, a championship life without ever stepping off the sideline.
Honest question - why do banks/advisors actually employ MBA associates if they add absolutely no value?
(He obviously had the analyst work out this post ;) )
If by paradise you mean being a Somali pirate, sure.
This is not an exaggeration. Typical MBA associate is like this in our EB
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